We've Lost Control

“Are you sure you don’t want to go?” Nick breathed into my ear as I sat on his lap.

It was the Fourth of July and we were at my parents’ house for their annual July 4th extravaganza. My whole family plus some friends were over for a barbeque and some swimming. I hadn’t gotten into the pool, but Nick had and played water football with my cousins and Danny. So when I buried my face in his neck and pressed a light kiss on his pulse point, I could smell chlorine.

“Hey!” My cousin Nate yelled as he shook the lawnchair from behind, “No hanky panky in front of the family! Save that for the bedroom.”

I laughed as Nick’s arms tightened around my waist, “Don’t be jealous, Nate! You know I only have eyes for you!” Nick called out.

“Nicholas, I thought what we had was real!” He cried as he turned and looked back at us.

“Nathaniel, are you cheating on me?” Danny asked in a serious tone from where he was standing next to Malinda, nursing a beer.

“Danny, I’m sorry, but I’m with Nick now. We had our fun, but it’s time we moved on.” I threw my head back and laughed. Only my family.

“Wow, Sawyer, it looks like you have some competition.” Kitty said from next to me. She was sitting in a lawn chair next to Colin and their hands were latched together on the arm rest between them.

“It’s all right, I’ll just call up Nick’s sister and tell her we can make our relationship public.” I teased and Nick chuckled. Over the Winter holiday season, we had gone back to Braintree (despite how much I didn’t want to) and his sister and I bonded. I guessed she had realized that what Nick and I had was the real deal and nothing was going to stop it.

“Hey,” Nick whispered, gaining my attention.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.” Just like that, I was smiling.

“I love you, too.”

It took some time before I was okay with him again. Not until before his tour with Boys Like Girls, Cobra Starship, and The Maine did I fully forgive him and felt like our relationship was almost healed. I was kind of nervous about him going on tour, but I had the guys in The Maine helping me. Plus when Gabe and the rest of Cobra Starship found out he was “the hot girl from Warped Tour’s” cheating husband, they made sure he didn’t do anything stupid. That was a very hilarious phone call from Nick.

He passed that tour with flying colors then was off for another two months. In the few weeks before he left on the Take Action Tour, The Maine arrived in LA to record their new album. I had them keep me company while he was gone and we had a few crazy late nights. I was nervous for Nick to go on that tour because two other smaller tours followed after that and he wouldn’t be home until the end of May.

A Rocket to the Moon played twice in a row in LA that whole time he was gone. So for my Spring Break, I flew out and hung out with them for a week. Needless to say, I was elated when he flew back into LA.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Nick said quietly so only I could hear then pressed a gentle kiss to my bare shoulder. He was due to fly out to Indianapolis in the morning so him and Justin could join the Van’s Warped Tour.

“I’m going to miss you, too.” I said sadly.

“Then come with me.”

I smiled weakly at him, “I can’t, Sweetie; I have school.” His forehead came in contact with my shoulder as a whine emitted from his lips, “Come on, Babe.” I said, “You’ll be back just in time for you birthday.” I tired to be optimistic.

He lifted his head, “Then I leave again like two weeks later for radio promo.” He pouted and I brought my hand up to rest on his cheek as I looked into his green eyes.

“Be happy your song is getting airplay and these stations want you.”

Quickly, he stole a kiss then leaned back, “I just feel like I haven’t been here much this year.” Honestly, I felt the same, but I knew he couldn’t help it.

“It’ll all be worth it when your band is a household name and you’re touring in a bus instead of that smelly van.”

He cracked a smile, “You’re such an optimist.” He said as he wrapped both of his arms around my waist and squeezed tightly, causing me to laugh.

“Well one of us has to be when the other is being a Debbie Downer.” Our faces were inches apart and I couldn’t help but to realize we were having a moment in front of my entire family.

“I’m just sad that I have to leave again.”

I smiled, “If I remember correctly, you once told me you were going to do a lot of leaving, but you’d always come back.” He smiled as we shared the memory, “If you remember that you’re going to come back, it shouldn’t be that bad.” He leaned in and planted his lips on mine, sending chills throughout my body and butterflies in my stomach fluttering.

“What did I say not even ten minutes ago?!” Nate yelled from across the front yard causing us to pull apart.

“You just ruined our moment, Douchebag!” I exclaimed in mock anger.

“You shouldn’t be sucking face anyways!” My dad yelled from the street where him and one of his old work buddies were setting up the fireworks stand, “The show’s about to start!”

I laughed then nuzzled in closer to Nick. This time the year before, I was in one of the worst situations of my life. Now, I couldn’t keep myself from smiling. As I thought this, an illegal firework was shot off with a hiss and as I popped, Nick pressed his lips to my hair. I reveled in the moment and took a mental picture. I never wanted to forget the way I felt right then. I was happy.