Those Who Fall
New Town, New Me?
My mother had told me very little about my aunt. I never had a reason to think about my aunt but since the court hearing I thought about her almost every hour. I think my mom had a big blow up with her before I was born because the very few times that my mom did mention her she didn't look or sound happy. We were never invited to a wedding so I assumed she wasn't married, and we got Christmas cards every year but with no pictures, which I thought meant she had no kids. I pretty much knew nothing about her, I didn't even know what she looked like. I imagined an old lady with gray hair and librarian classes that had a weird hunchback and chapped lips. I also imagined her mouth full of that white saliva where whenever she'd talk she'd spit on you and you could see the spit flying through the air. I was nervous to spend the rest of my life in her on the other side of the country.
On the plane I was bored and hungry but the complimentary meals didn't look good so I just kept ordering Ginger-ale and watching people that had to go to the bathroom walk up and down the aisle. I was sitting next to a man with cool hair, kind of like Matt LeBlanc in the later episodes of Friends and I was also sitting next to a guy that looked a little younger than me, he had blue eyes and long, shoulder length brown hair that was pulled back into a ponytail, he was so into his video game I thought it was going to suck him into the screen. The plane ride was pretty much unbearable because I was in between two seats, by myself, going somewhere I had never been and staying with someone I had never met. I tried not to dwell on any of these reasons to cry for too long because I didn't want to be the freak sobbing between two guys who would just have to sit there awkwardly.
When we landed I went straight to baggage claim, walking quickly and looking behind myself frequently. I was almost positive someone was following me and usually there was, but whenever I looked behind me it was the same dozens of people, because they had all gotten off of the same plane and were going to the same baggage claim. I had two suitcases so after I pulled my first bag off of the belt I leaned onto my suitcase, tired of waiting. I stood there, super alert ready to run at any moment. There was a wound spring inside of me ready to go.
A woman with a small paper in her hand came and greeted me. It felt like I jumped at least a foot in the air, I also had my face covered with my forearms before I left the ground. I let out a little shriek when I realized it was a woman, but I was still on my guard. When she let go of my shoulder I tried walking away but she grabbed my hand. She had this weird look her in her eyes like she knew me. She shook my hand and couldn't help but hug me so I pushed her off and tried walking away again (I was almost positive my suitcase had gone around the belt twice.)
"oh, pardon me. I'm your Auntie Wanda."
"hi...Sorry for screaming. You startled me." I said shyly.
"It's okay honey. how many bags do you have?"
"I have one more bag to get." I said quietly.
When my bag came around I lugged it off of the belt and followed her to her car. I trusted that this was my aunt and not someone that was trying to kidnap me. The conversation in the car assured me that she was my aunt though.
"I'm sorry about what happened."
"It's fine," I barely whispered.
"Staying with me will be easy as pie. Stress free environment."
I forced a half smile and a gust of air out of my nose to represent a chuckle. I didn't really care about a stress free environment because I wasn't really sure what she meant. Living with my mom wasn't stressful, it was...I wasn't really sure what it was. I thought stress came along with school and work. I guess it was work having to deal with her. When Matt came into my life he made it less like work and more like she needed me, not like I was constantly being heckled by her. The period of time before she attacked Matt, home wasn't that stressful compared to other times in that house.
Like when my Dad's brother was living with my mom and I for two months until he got back on his feet. When I told Matt about that experience he kept saying how stressful it must have been for me. I told Matt that I probably deserved everything he said and did, cause I was an ungrateful little kid. Mind you, this was a couple months before we knew Vic even existed, but Matt said to me,
"No one deserves that kind of treatment. What else did he do to you? If it's too hard you don't have to tell me."
I told him how when my mom was around and I would drop something, or trip, or say something stupid that he would hit me. And when my mom wasn't around when my uncle and I were home alone he would try to touch me. Matt grabbed my hand and kissed it.
"How old were you?"
"Twelve." He looked up at me and just watched me. I didn't want to make eye contact so I looked around the room but when I would look back he'd still be looking at me. "I'm fine. Who cares. He's dead." I chuckled a little.
"How'd-"
"Kidney failure." Talk about stress free. A lot of my home experiences were bad but nothing compared to those two months with my uncle living with us, except maybe being with Vic but even Vic let me have some space.
On the plane I was bored and hungry but the complimentary meals didn't look good so I just kept ordering Ginger-ale and watching people that had to go to the bathroom walk up and down the aisle. I was sitting next to a man with cool hair, kind of like Matt LeBlanc in the later episodes of Friends and I was also sitting next to a guy that looked a little younger than me, he had blue eyes and long, shoulder length brown hair that was pulled back into a ponytail, he was so into his video game I thought it was going to suck him into the screen. The plane ride was pretty much unbearable because I was in between two seats, by myself, going somewhere I had never been and staying with someone I had never met. I tried not to dwell on any of these reasons to cry for too long because I didn't want to be the freak sobbing between two guys who would just have to sit there awkwardly.
When we landed I went straight to baggage claim, walking quickly and looking behind myself frequently. I was almost positive someone was following me and usually there was, but whenever I looked behind me it was the same dozens of people, because they had all gotten off of the same plane and were going to the same baggage claim. I had two suitcases so after I pulled my first bag off of the belt I leaned onto my suitcase, tired of waiting. I stood there, super alert ready to run at any moment. There was a wound spring inside of me ready to go.
A woman with a small paper in her hand came and greeted me. It felt like I jumped at least a foot in the air, I also had my face covered with my forearms before I left the ground. I let out a little shriek when I realized it was a woman, but I was still on my guard. When she let go of my shoulder I tried walking away but she grabbed my hand. She had this weird look her in her eyes like she knew me. She shook my hand and couldn't help but hug me so I pushed her off and tried walking away again (I was almost positive my suitcase had gone around the belt twice.)
"oh, pardon me. I'm your Auntie Wanda."
"hi...Sorry for screaming. You startled me." I said shyly.
"It's okay honey. how many bags do you have?"
"I have one more bag to get." I said quietly.
When my bag came around I lugged it off of the belt and followed her to her car. I trusted that this was my aunt and not someone that was trying to kidnap me. The conversation in the car assured me that she was my aunt though.
"I'm sorry about what happened."
"It's fine," I barely whispered.
"Staying with me will be easy as pie. Stress free environment."
I forced a half smile and a gust of air out of my nose to represent a chuckle. I didn't really care about a stress free environment because I wasn't really sure what she meant. Living with my mom wasn't stressful, it was...I wasn't really sure what it was. I thought stress came along with school and work. I guess it was work having to deal with her. When Matt came into my life he made it less like work and more like she needed me, not like I was constantly being heckled by her. The period of time before she attacked Matt, home wasn't that stressful compared to other times in that house.
Like when my Dad's brother was living with my mom and I for two months until he got back on his feet. When I told Matt about that experience he kept saying how stressful it must have been for me. I told Matt that I probably deserved everything he said and did, cause I was an ungrateful little kid. Mind you, this was a couple months before we knew Vic even existed, but Matt said to me,
"No one deserves that kind of treatment. What else did he do to you? If it's too hard you don't have to tell me."
I told him how when my mom was around and I would drop something, or trip, or say something stupid that he would hit me. And when my mom wasn't around when my uncle and I were home alone he would try to touch me. Matt grabbed my hand and kissed it.
"How old were you?"
"Twelve." He looked up at me and just watched me. I didn't want to make eye contact so I looked around the room but when I would look back he'd still be looking at me. "I'm fine. Who cares. He's dead." I chuckled a little.
"How'd-"
"Kidney failure." Talk about stress free. A lot of my home experiences were bad but nothing compared to those two months with my uncle living with us, except maybe being with Vic but even Vic let me have some space.