Faded Memories

I wake up on the roof. My head hurts from thinking hard.
“You spent all night up here. What was on your mind?” I look up and see Kyo standing beside me.
“Yuki said something to me yesterday and I can’t figure out what it means.”
Kyo sits down beside me. “What did he say?”
I look at Kyo. “He said ‘He wanted to kiss me.’”
Kyo jumps up. “I’ll kick his butt if you want me to.”
“I want you to tell me what he meant.” I stand up and walk back inside. I walk into Shigure’s office. “Shigure, what does it mean when someone says that ‘they wanted to kiss you’?”
He looks at me. “Who said that?”
“Um…Yuki did…”
Shigure chokes on air. Why don’t you ask Yuki that?”
“Well…I’m afraid of what he might say.”
“Go ask him.”
I walk out of the office and go to Yuki’s room. Yuki is sitting on his bed reading. “Umm…Yuki…I need to talk to you.”
Yuki stands up and grabs my hand. “Let’s go to my garden.”
We walk to his garden in silence. When we get there it is noon. “I know what you want to ask me and I meant what I said.”
I stare at him and feel a blush grow in my face. “What did you mean though?”
He holds my face in his hands. “I meant that I like you. I like you a lot. I have since I met you.”
I shake my head and try to run away. Yuki grasps my wrist and doesn’t let me run away. “Let go of my arm. I need to go and think.”
“You don’t have to run away to think.”
“If she wants to go and think, then let her.” I look up and see Kyo standing on the perimeter of the garden.
I feel Yuki’s grip on my hand loosen. I tug my arm loose and run. I don’t pay attention to where I was running and collide into Kyo. I push past him and run through the trees.
Love is something I never wanted to find. I know that Akito would have to approve and I don’t think I could handle myself. I don’t want anyone to suffer like Hatori had.
I stop running and buckle over. I feel all the stress from what just happened and “poof”. I lay there as a little white cat and cry. When I poof back I don’t have the strength to move.
“Do you need me to do you a favor?” I change back to a cat at the sound of Kyo’s voice.
“Kyo, thanks for what you did back there.”
“Ruki, can you move.” I shake my head. “Would you like me to help you?” I nod. Kyo picks me and my clothes up.
“Do you think I overreacted?”
Kyo makes a disgusted sound. “Are you saying you might like him back?”
“I don’t know. I am too confused to think. I’m too confused to be confused.”
“Just forget the stupid rat!”
I close my eyes and focus. Do I love Yuki?
“Ruki, you know a lot of people like you, right?”
“What? How would you know?” Kyo doesn’t answer. “You know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone.”
“That’s why no Sohma wants to be in a relationship; even if it is another member of the zodiac.”
I feel the stress wash away and begin feeling scared; “poof”. When the smoke clears Kyo is still holding me and I am staring at his red face.

I tug on my shirt. “Kyo, you can look now.”
Kyo steps out from behind a tree. His face is still red. “I’m sorry. I forgot that you can’t control when you change back…”
“Don’t worry about it. Everything is fine.”

When I walk up to my room, I am still confused. I sit on my bed and hold my head. “Why is it so hard to think?!?!”
I hear my door open and look up to see Yuki. He sits down beside me. “I wish I never kissed you at school. If I didn’t then we would still be best friends…”
“Yuki, I just want us to be friends again.”
“I want us to be just friends too.”
“Well, why can’t we?”
Yuki thinks for a few minutes. “I don’t know why. Let’s just forget about what I did.”
I nod. Yuki shuts the door behind him when he leaves. I stare at the closed door. I don’t know if I should be more or less confused.