Never See Me Cry
Chapter 2:
My mother--the one who really was never there--decided that things were bad in Idaho. So she told me I'd start school in Texas. And I laughed in her face. I wasn't going. I had made up my mind. I tried everything short of murdering her, and to this day I resent my mother for breaking my brother. After my dad died him and I only had each other. She took me away and I had to watch him break. The tears in his eyes--the pain of llsing me. I sat there while he cried on my shoulder. In my head I cussed out my mom. She told him I CHOSE to come here not that she was making me--the things people do so they aren't the bad-guy.
I climbed onto the plane, thinking I could run off. I knew I could run away and find some place to stay, but it was worthless. I sat on the plane singing softly so only I could hear, "Sound the bugle now, tell 'em I don't care there's not a road I know that leads to anywhere. Sound the bugle now, play it just for me. As the seasons change remember how I used to be. I'm a soldier wounded so I must give up the fight. There's nothing more to see lead me away, don't leave me lying here." Tears ran down my face and I was shaking. I wasn't asked anything. I was left alone. These fucking strangers saw me cry, but I didn't care about them. They could see. Who cared?
I gathered myself and started writing. The words came out in a hateful, spiteful tone. But I started feeling better. Well not better, but like I was in control once again. My eyes went black from anger, dull lifeless hopeless. The plane landed down in Austin. I walked into the baggage claim. It was hot but I never took my hoodie off. I saw my aunt waiting and I didn't even bother to fake a smile. The tears tried to fall but I shoved themback. What was going to happen? What was going to become of me? I had no idea. I sat in the car, staring out the window. I was here. In this place that looked like hell. It was dry, it wasn't green like the fields Idaho had. It was hot, and new, and big.
Taylor, Texas. Apparently a small town, but it wasn't to me. The housed hadn't changed since I had last been there. I walked to where my room was and sat my bags down. My cousin and I were sharing a room. Her side was cheerleading and preppy and until I get my posters hung up, mine was blank.
I climbed onto the plane, thinking I could run off. I knew I could run away and find some place to stay, but it was worthless. I sat on the plane singing softly so only I could hear, "Sound the bugle now, tell 'em I don't care there's not a road I know that leads to anywhere. Sound the bugle now, play it just for me. As the seasons change remember how I used to be. I'm a soldier wounded so I must give up the fight. There's nothing more to see lead me away, don't leave me lying here." Tears ran down my face and I was shaking. I wasn't asked anything. I was left alone. These fucking strangers saw me cry, but I didn't care about them. They could see. Who cared?
I gathered myself and started writing. The words came out in a hateful, spiteful tone. But I started feeling better. Well not better, but like I was in control once again. My eyes went black from anger, dull lifeless hopeless. The plane landed down in Austin. I walked into the baggage claim. It was hot but I never took my hoodie off. I saw my aunt waiting and I didn't even bother to fake a smile. The tears tried to fall but I shoved themback. What was going to happen? What was going to become of me? I had no idea. I sat in the car, staring out the window. I was here. In this place that looked like hell. It was dry, it wasn't green like the fields Idaho had. It was hot, and new, and big.
Taylor, Texas. Apparently a small town, but it wasn't to me. The housed hadn't changed since I had last been there. I walked to where my room was and sat my bags down. My cousin and I were sharing a room. Her side was cheerleading and preppy and until I get my posters hung up, mine was blank.