You Had My Heart, at Least for the Most Part

I bounced my three-year old daughter-Katie- on my leg as she had her large, blue eyes concentrated on the TV. The Dora theme song started to play, and she started to sing along.

I shook my head as I watched Katie sing along as best as she could and shook my head, wondering when my long-term boyfriend August was going to get home.

Tonight one of my best friends, Marie, was in town and since she was on tour, again, she wasn’t able to stay long. I was going to watch her show from back-stage, and laugh at some of the crazy stuff her and her band would do.

I quickly glanced at the clock, hoping that August would get here soon. I had to get ready for Marie’s show, which would be starting in just a few short hours.

When I heard August’s old, beat up truck that he’s had since we were sixteen I smiled. I sat Katie- our daughter- down and stood to my feet, a warm smile on my face.

After a minute or two August walked into our house, looking exhausted and tired.

I walked over to him and hugged him. I buried my head as deep in his chest as I could, and took a deep breath in.

Lately we had been fighting, and things hadn’t been going very well. I hadn’t had the chance to tell Marie yet, and planed on telling her and asking for advice.

When August didn’t hug me back panic went through me.

I pulled away and looked up into his blue eyes that Katie had inherited. He looked hurt, and torn.

“August what’s wrong?” I asked him, putting my hands on my hips.

He looked away from me for a quick second, then looked back down.

“Steph, we need to talk.” He told me in a monotone voice.

My heart rate started picking up. I already knew what he wanted to talk about, everyone knows what those words mean.

Tears were already welling up in my eyes as I looked up at him.

I didn’t want him to see me cry… I just couldn’t cry in front of him.

I quickly turned on my heel and ran up the stairs towards our room and slammed the door shut.

I fell on the bed, expecting the tears to fall. But none fell.

“Stephanie? You okay?” I heard August ask from the doorway.

I snapped my head towards him and narrowed my brown eyes.

“Look… I just don’t think this-us- is working out anymore.” He said, looking right at me, ignoring the glare I was giving him.

“And what is that supposed to mean? Are you breaking up with me?” I asked him.

I wanted him to say it. I didn’t want him to beat-around the bush like he always did.

He didn’t answer, he looked down at the ground, ignoring my intense glare, and around the room before he looked back down at me.

“What about our daughter? You can’t just leave me to take care of her by myself!” I snapped at him, raising my voice.

“You won’t have to take care of her by yourself… I’ll help as much as I can. I’ll pay child support.”

“Yeah, like child support is going to help. She’s going to need a father. She’s going to need you physically there, not just your money!” I snapped back at him.

I didn’t know why we were arguing over this. There were other things we needed to discuss as well.

“Well she’s going to have to deal with it then.” He snapped now narrowing his eyes at me.

“Okay so what about me? I thought you said you loved me!” I snapped back at him.

“Well I just don’t anymore! Stephanie, we just weren’t meant to be. You had my heart, at least for the most part.” He said, slowly calming down.

A tear rolled down my check after he said that. And I knew more would come, but since I did Theater in high school, I covered up the tears with hatred.

“So now you’re back to being the boy I met in the high school? The one that just wanted to fuck a girl and then leave? Really? Is that all you wanted from me?!” I yelled at him.

I didn’t know how that had anything to do with him not loving me anymore. Maybe it was something I just needed to get off of my chest.

“Of course not!” he yelled back.

“You sure? Because last time I checked you starting dating other girls because I wasn’t ’putting out’!” I said, using a quote from our high school years.

“Come on Stephanie! That was fucking Sophomore year! That was almost six years ago!” He yelled back, sounding just as angry as I was.

“So what if it was six years ago?” I snapped back.

August looked at me with such hatred that I didn’t know existed.

“You know what? Fuck you, I’m out of here. Have fun raising your daughter on your own!” He yelled then stormed out of the house.

“Already did asshole!” I yelled back at him, referring to the fuck you comment he made.

I didn’t care that I probably wasn’t going to have a babysitter for Katie, I was going to talk to Marie.

I had too.

I was holding Katie’s hand as we walked back stage. The thumb on her free hand was in her mouth as we walked towards Marie’s dressing room.

I had called Marie almost right after August left and told her that I was bringing Katie along. She said that is was okay and that she finally was going to meet my daughter.

I had never been back-stage to a show, so everything was a little scary for me. Plus, the last time I checks Marie was part of a band that wasn’t very big. And, I wasn’t really into the type of music she went into.

Katie was keeping her body as close to mine as possible. Obviously, this was just as frightening to her as it was for me.

When I reached Marie’s dressing room I didn’t knock, I just walked right on in.

I saw my old best friend sitting on a couch, two guys covered in tattoos sitting on either side of her. Marie’s whole face brook out in smile when she saw me. She jumped off of the couch, putting an end to whatever conversation she was having, and ran over to me.

She tackled me in a hug, almost knocking me and Katie to the ground.

I wrapped my free hand around my friend’s smaller body and hugged her back as tightly as I could.

Over the past five years since we got out of high school, Marie hadn’t grown much in height. She was still at the same barely five foot height as she was when I had last seen her.

“God I missed you Stephanie! It’s been way to fucking long!” she said, still keeping me in a death grip. I had forgotten for a tiny person, she sure had a strong grip.

“Yeah, I missed you too Marie!” I told her, not being able to think of anything else to say with two complete strangers in the room, and my three-year old daughter.

Marie let go of me and knelt down to Katie’s level, who was hiding behind my leg.

“And who’s this? You know, she vaguely reminds me of two people…” Marie said as she tried to look at my hiding daughter.

I moved so I could pick Katie up and held her on my hip.

“Katie say ‘hi’ to Marie!” I told my daughter, who still had her thumb in her mouth.

Marie stood to her full height, then stood up on her tippy-toes so she could get a better look at Katie.

“Hi Katie! I’m Marie!” Marie said with a smile on her face. Marie’s hazel eyes were still as bright as I remembered, and she still had an amazing smile.

“She’s shy.” I told Marie. Marie let out a short laugh.

“Are you sure she’s your daughter?” Marie asked me, putting her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure. Look, Marie… we need to talk.” I said, now getting straight to the point.

Marie seemed to have an idea about what I was talking about.

“Okay. Boys, could you leave for a minute? We’ll have to talk tomorrow.” Marie turned and told the two older looking boys sitting at the couch. They both nodded their heads then quickly hurried out of the room.

“I can have Piper watch her so we can talk.” Marie told me giving me a warm smile. I nodded my head.

“Just give me a minute, would you?” She asked me. I nodded my head again.

Marie gave me another warm smile then quickly walked out of the room. I heard a loud banging, then I heard Marie yell, “PIPER STOP FUCKING OUR GUITAR PLAYER AND GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!!!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. I hadn’t really seen Marie’s evil side until late in our Sophomore year, almost two and half years after I had met her. Surprising to everyone, Marie could actually yell pretty damn loud.

Marie walked back into the room, not even waiting for a reply.

“What as that all about?” I asked Marie.

“Michael finally came to his senses and asked Piper out. And Amber heard them fucking last week and everyone has been teasing them about it since.” She told me, a bright smile on her face.

“Wow.” I said, laughing a little. Katie looked a little lost and confused.

Suddenly, a large black women stormed into the room.

“I need you to babysit for me… I need to talk to Stephanie. Yes, it is a matter of live or death.” Marie told the large black girl, already knowing what she was going to say.

I assumed that the large black girl was Piper, since I had only met her a couple of times and that was years ago.

Piper turned to me, the warmest smile she could muster on her face. She held out her arms for Katie and I gave Piper to her, hoping that my daughter would come back in one piece.

Once Piper was out of the room and the door was shut, I walked over to Marie and sat down next to her.

“Okay girly, what the hell is going on?” Marie asked as she rubbed my back.

I took in a deep breath than began to explain what had been going on with August.

“That bastard.” Marie said at the end of it, looking pissed.

“Yeah… I know.”

“Honesty Steph, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not sure if he is going to help you raise Katie or not… but you are always welcome to come and move in with Piper and me in California.” Marie told me as she continued to rub my back.

Tears started to well up in my eyes, but there was just one more thing that I needed to tell Marie that I hadn’t told her yet.

“Marie… there’s something else I need to tell you…” I said, avoiding her hazel eyes.

“What?” she asked, still not stopping rubbing my back.

”I’m pregnant.”

The End