RockScars
Chapter 26
I know you…You hate that you love me. Hate…Love…One in the same aren’t they? Both evoke fear…regret…rage…and passion. I love that you hate that you feel something for me…regardless of the emotion…you feel something for me and you hate that the one thing you can’t be is indifferent. You want so badly to not feel anything at all, but you can’t help yourself and you hate that I love that I know that…Yeah, I know you...
Matt sat back against the headboard of his bed watching Twyla sleep. In his mind he wondered if it was a mistake to allow their somewhat relationship to have progressed the way it did or if he should have just left things the way they were with her hating him all the time. It would have made things a lot easier knowing that he would soon have to say goodbye.
What a bitch fate can be. Still, we know this and yet we can’t resist tempting it. Some think they can change the course of their lives, but if something is meant to be it will be. You can’t fight fate. It’s fun to watch you try through, only to be left disappointed. Am I fate? Honey, if I was fate, I’d be the one fucking YOU blind. ;)
Speaking of fate….
“How are you feeling?” Gates asked as he sat down on the bed beside Daisy.
Daisy slowly sat up and leaned back against the headboard. “Mr. Gates, I don’t understand something.”
“What’s that?”
“You know those people that took me? Well, I’m pretty sure they ain’t my parents, but where are my parents? Nobody lookin’ for me, don’t nobody know who I am? Hell, I don’t even know who I am. I don’t even know my own last name. I must have a family.”
Gates sighed and gave her a halfhearted smile. “Of course you have a family. You have one right here for as long as you want it.”
“That’s awful nice of you to say, but y’all been a real family for such a long time. It wouldn’t be right for me to just show up one day and claim y’all as my kin. I bet Mr. Vengeance would have to have some say in who can be part of his family. It ain’t right to just claim me you know.”
Gates chuckled lightly. “I bet Mr. Vengeance will agree. This is your home and you are part of our family. If you want to find your real family, we will do what we can to help you.”
“You ain’t just sayin’ that to make me feel better?”
He smiled again and took her hand in his. “I ain’t just sayin’ that to make you feel better. I mean it. I can’t think of any place you belong more than here.”
This from the man who told her she didn’t belong at all. See what happens when you fuck with fate? ;) It fucks you right back.
Daisy looked down at her hand in his before looking back into his eyes. “Mr. Gates, remember the night I left?”
“Yeah,” he nodded.
“You remember you kissed me?”
He smiled and nodded again. “Yeah, I remember.”
“You said if I didn’t go you would do something selfish and never let me leave. What did you mean by that?”
Yeah…what did you mean? Watch him get tongue tied.
Not ready for that question, Gates let out a long breath and moved to sit beside her on the bed. He stretched out his legs and turned his head to the side to look at her while he took her hand in his again. “I meant that if you had not have left when you did, I would have taken you and locked you away in this very room where no one would be able to take you away from me.”
“It hurt me to leave you most, Mr. Gates. Especially after you kissed me like you did.”
“I know,” he nodded. “I felt it your pain as much as you felt mine, but here you are now.”
“Yes,” she smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. “What happens now?”
Gates sighed and kissed the top of her head. “Well, it depends on you I guess. I mean I know that we both feel it, this you and me thing. So, we can take it day by day and see where it goes or we can just keep lying to ourselves that there’s nothing between us.”
Daisy lifted her head immediately and looked him square in the eyes. “Oh, I ain’t a liar Mr. Gates. I just can’t lie to save my life.”
He laughed lightly and kissed her cheek. “So then at the end of your essay when you said you loved me, you meant it?”
“Every word of it, Mr. Gates. I swear the first time I set eyes on you if I had an actual heart beat it would have skipped four or five times. That’s the truth! It bothered me something terrible when you didn’t like me.”
“Hey!” he protested. “I may have said you were a little different, but I never not liked you. I liked you very much.”
She shook her head in disagreement. “You sure had a funny way of showin’ it.”
Gates sighed and got up off the bed. “You should get some sleep. Zacky wants to see you when you wake up. Nothing bad, he just wants to talk about what happened. “
“Ok.”
When she laid back down, Gates pulled the covers over her and kissed her head. “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Mr. Gates.”
He nodded and after turning out the light, headed for the door. Before he walked out, he turned back to her once more. “Oh and Daisy?”
“Yes, Mr. Gates?”
“I love you, too.” With that, he walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.
Well now…See what fate did there? ....Playing love and hate against the each other to make you see that one doesn’t exist without the other. That’s a cruel bitch ain’t it? On the one hand, you have a girl who never wanted to feel anything more than hate for a man she knew she loved, but wouldn’t admit it until she needed him…but is it really her who needs him? He, well aware of what lies ahead for her, never discouraged her affection when she finally gave it freely and now holds himself in contempt for that.
On the other hand you have a girl who believes in love at first sight, but was rejected by the man she felt that very feeling for because of all the things that made her different. It must have been a kick in the ass when he realized that it was all the things that he rejected about her that were the things that made him love her back.
Love and Hate…..they go together like Peanut butter and jelly….only thing holding them together is the bread…want to take a bite out of that sandwich?
I’m out for now….I have hell to raise and yes…there will be plenty of “OMG” and “WTF” and “HOLY SHIT!” and “I NEVER SAW THAT COMING!” in the next few chapters…
Soon….little ones…very very soon.
Sleep well…
P.S.
I Love You.
Matt sat back against the headboard of his bed watching Twyla sleep. In his mind he wondered if it was a mistake to allow their somewhat relationship to have progressed the way it did or if he should have just left things the way they were with her hating him all the time. It would have made things a lot easier knowing that he would soon have to say goodbye.
What a bitch fate can be. Still, we know this and yet we can’t resist tempting it. Some think they can change the course of their lives, but if something is meant to be it will be. You can’t fight fate. It’s fun to watch you try through, only to be left disappointed. Am I fate? Honey, if I was fate, I’d be the one fucking YOU blind. ;)
Speaking of fate….
“How are you feeling?” Gates asked as he sat down on the bed beside Daisy.
Daisy slowly sat up and leaned back against the headboard. “Mr. Gates, I don’t understand something.”
“What’s that?”
“You know those people that took me? Well, I’m pretty sure they ain’t my parents, but where are my parents? Nobody lookin’ for me, don’t nobody know who I am? Hell, I don’t even know who I am. I don’t even know my own last name. I must have a family.”
Gates sighed and gave her a halfhearted smile. “Of course you have a family. You have one right here for as long as you want it.”
“That’s awful nice of you to say, but y’all been a real family for such a long time. It wouldn’t be right for me to just show up one day and claim y’all as my kin. I bet Mr. Vengeance would have to have some say in who can be part of his family. It ain’t right to just claim me you know.”
Gates chuckled lightly. “I bet Mr. Vengeance will agree. This is your home and you are part of our family. If you want to find your real family, we will do what we can to help you.”
“You ain’t just sayin’ that to make me feel better?”
He smiled again and took her hand in his. “I ain’t just sayin’ that to make you feel better. I mean it. I can’t think of any place you belong more than here.”
This from the man who told her she didn’t belong at all. See what happens when you fuck with fate? ;) It fucks you right back.
Daisy looked down at her hand in his before looking back into his eyes. “Mr. Gates, remember the night I left?”
“Yeah,” he nodded.
“You remember you kissed me?”
He smiled and nodded again. “Yeah, I remember.”
“You said if I didn’t go you would do something selfish and never let me leave. What did you mean by that?”
Yeah…what did you mean? Watch him get tongue tied.
Not ready for that question, Gates let out a long breath and moved to sit beside her on the bed. He stretched out his legs and turned his head to the side to look at her while he took her hand in his again. “I meant that if you had not have left when you did, I would have taken you and locked you away in this very room where no one would be able to take you away from me.”
“It hurt me to leave you most, Mr. Gates. Especially after you kissed me like you did.”
“I know,” he nodded. “I felt it your pain as much as you felt mine, but here you are now.”
“Yes,” she smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. “What happens now?”
Gates sighed and kissed the top of her head. “Well, it depends on you I guess. I mean I know that we both feel it, this you and me thing. So, we can take it day by day and see where it goes or we can just keep lying to ourselves that there’s nothing between us.”
Daisy lifted her head immediately and looked him square in the eyes. “Oh, I ain’t a liar Mr. Gates. I just can’t lie to save my life.”
He laughed lightly and kissed her cheek. “So then at the end of your essay when you said you loved me, you meant it?”
“Every word of it, Mr. Gates. I swear the first time I set eyes on you if I had an actual heart beat it would have skipped four or five times. That’s the truth! It bothered me something terrible when you didn’t like me.”
“Hey!” he protested. “I may have said you were a little different, but I never not liked you. I liked you very much.”
She shook her head in disagreement. “You sure had a funny way of showin’ it.”
Gates sighed and got up off the bed. “You should get some sleep. Zacky wants to see you when you wake up. Nothing bad, he just wants to talk about what happened. “
“Ok.”
When she laid back down, Gates pulled the covers over her and kissed her head. “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Mr. Gates.”
He nodded and after turning out the light, headed for the door. Before he walked out, he turned back to her once more. “Oh and Daisy?”
“Yes, Mr. Gates?”
“I love you, too.” With that, he walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.
Well now…See what fate did there? ....Playing love and hate against the each other to make you see that one doesn’t exist without the other. That’s a cruel bitch ain’t it? On the one hand, you have a girl who never wanted to feel anything more than hate for a man she knew she loved, but wouldn’t admit it until she needed him…but is it really her who needs him? He, well aware of what lies ahead for her, never discouraged her affection when she finally gave it freely and now holds himself in contempt for that.
On the other hand you have a girl who believes in love at first sight, but was rejected by the man she felt that very feeling for because of all the things that made her different. It must have been a kick in the ass when he realized that it was all the things that he rejected about her that were the things that made him love her back.
Love and Hate…..they go together like Peanut butter and jelly….only thing holding them together is the bread…want to take a bite out of that sandwich?
I’m out for now….I have hell to raise and yes…there will be plenty of “OMG” and “WTF” and “HOLY SHIT!” and “I NEVER SAW THAT COMING!” in the next few chapters…
Soon….little ones…very very soon.
Sleep well…
P.S.
I Love You.