For You

It was the same thing everyday.

He was sick of it. But who wouldn't be at this point? There wasn't anything he could do about it, though, except getting the hell out of his house after getting into college.. Which was another issue altogether. What college would accept him? Horrible grades, the minimum required volunteer hours, no sports.. It was a lost cause.

The fact his peers and teachers hated him didn't help, either. He couldn't be the only gay kid in school, though! So why just him? What about the others?

Selfish thoughts.. Selfish thoughts, Zacky. That's bad.

Maybe having a single friend would make life easier. It sucked being alone everywhere he went and sometimes he'd just get so lonely.. then the self pity.. then the crying..

But.. That didn't mean it was all that bad, you know? He had this strong belief that someday things would get better and he'd have the life he always wanted. His dad would change, his former best friend and crush would be his friend again, he'd be happy.. Better late then never.

Plus he had his sanctuary in his precious photograph-- the only picture he managed to salvage from his father who threw everything else away. And it was his favorite one, too that seemed to make all the hurt go away when he sent himself back in time.. To the place and day.. With his friend and once loving family.

He would try to imagine the sun shining and the wind blowing through his hair as he giggled and ran away from another boy who was wearing a matching smile on his face.

Matthew Sanders.

Zacky never understood what went wrong. Did he say something that got Matt angry? Did he do something offensive? He tried on different occasions asking, but ended up with a black eye and a message to stay away. So he gave up and decided to wait it out. Mattie couldn't be angry with him forever, right?

When he found out what he did wrong and when Matt would be his friend again, Zacky was going to apologize and make up to him somehow.

It was still hard, though, dealing with school everyday. He tried to ignore the gut wrenching feeling he got when Matt shoved him against a locker or called him nasty names. He tried not to cry in front of others, but usually failed. He tried to fight back once, but that didn't end very nicely..

What on earth happened? He should have noticed.. The gradual changes. The way his dad seemed to drink more often, the way Matt avoided him..

It seemed that things went crashing down after his mom left.

She was the support of the house, you could say. The beatings started after she left. She had gone silently, without ever saying good bye. Zacky failed, after numerous attempts, in trying to contact her. Seeing his mom again was one of the few things he gave up on.

But that didn't mean he never thought about her. He missed her, he wanted her to come back so bad and make everything better again.. Like mothers were supposed to.

Enough of the past, though.. Zacky was currently in his history class, the last period of the day. He liked being in class. It was one of the few times he was safe. No one could hit him, no one could say anything to him. School was boring, and he was barely passing, yeah. But that didn't matter when he was always on the lookout for danger.

He kept his gaze on his desk all the time. Making eye contact with anyone could lead to severe consequences. He tried to focus on the teacher's lecture while getting ready to be the first out of class and out of school. He knew he wouldn't make it; he never did. But that never stopped him from trying.

Zacky shuffled around in his seat and sneaked a glance at the clock.

Five more minutes.

Five minutes and he'd have to rush outside, stop by his locker, and head home. He tried carrying all his books in his bag once, but that slowed him down considerably and the end result was pretty bad.

Briiiiing!!.

Zacky, who had packed his bag long ago, got up and bolted. His locker was thankfully nearby and he skillfully entered his combination, gathered his books, and made a beeline for the front door.

He was almost there.

"And where the fuck do you think you're going?"

Dammit. he cursed in his head. Palms already sweating, Zacky gulped and slowly turned to face the speaker. "Mattie.. C-can you let me go for today? Please?"

Matt closed his eyes in frustration for a second before glaring at Zacky. "How many times do I have to tell you? It's Matt, not Mattie."

They were attracting students and a few teachers now. Matt rolled his eyes and advanced towards a cowering Zacky. He and his friends pushed Zacky out the door and led him to the back of the school. Like always.

Before Zacky could even think, his books and bag were knocked from his grasp and a punch was thrown to his face, causing pain to shoot up his jaw. He fell to the ground and stayed there, knowing it would be useless to get back up.

"Little fag." someone grunted before delivering a swift quick to Zacky's stomach. He winced as the kick had hit a new bruise and then started to feel the tears pool in his eyes.

Another person laughed. "He's crying already."

As more hits came, Zacky squeezed his eyes shut and tried to remember something from the past. The pain made it harder, though, and he wondered when they would fucking stop.

"You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" a five year old Zacky giggled running away from Matt, who was also laughing. It was a clear sunny day and the two of them were playing in Matt's backyard. In other words, it was a perfect day, and Zacky was having the time of his life.

He squealed in excitement as he heard Matt's footsteps come closer and closer. He loved playing like this- running around, playing pretend. And Matt made it even better. Kindergarten sure was a drag, but Matt was in his class and during the weekends they always slept over at each other's houses. What more could he ask for?

In the frenzy of the whole situation, Zacky lost control of himself when he accidentally stumbled, and tripped. He didn't have time to react or soften the blow as he felt himself falling face flat onto the ground. Shocked at first, he remained completely still before the pain started to creep in in. He lifted his face up and started to bawl.

"Zacky! Zacky!"

Zacky felt someone help him up into a sitting position and looked up with his watery green eyes to a worried Matt, who was looking down at his face, eyebrows furrowed. "Are you okay, Zacky? You have a cut on your face!"

He also had scraped his knees and hands and continued to cry as Matt frantically tried to think of what to do. He blew on the injuries, but then saw he wasn't doing any good. He tried to kiss them better, but that didn't work either. In fact, his mother had told him never to do that, but he was filled with anxiety for his best friend and did whatever popped into his mind.

After trying to calm Zacky down for several moments, Matt had a brilliant idea.

"Zacky, I know! I'll call my mommy! She'll know what to do. I'll be riight back, 'kay? So don't cry 'cause my mom will make it all better."

Zacky watched, still in tears, as Matt scurried back into his house, coming back a few minutes later, pulling Mrs. Sanders who had a small smile on her face, by her arm and grumbling at her to hurry.

"Mom, you need to hurry! It's an emergency."

"Don't worry, baby, mommy will handle it."

Mrs. Sanders crouched down to Zacky's level and said, "Are you alright, honey? Why don't you tell me what happened?"

He sniffed and wiped his nose on his arm before saying, "M-Mattie and I were playing and then we started to run and-and then I fell and then I-I got a cut and--" he hiccuped before continuing. "And it-it hurts and stings.. and it hurts real bad.."

She nodded solemnly and said, "It must hurt a lot, Zacky. You're such a strong boy!"

This caused Zacky to feel better; he liked it when the grown ups told him he was big and strong. He even stopped crying and smiled a little bit. "I-I guess so, huh?"

Mrs. Sanders grinned back before helping Zacky up. "You sure are, dear. Come on now. Let's get you back inside. Matt will help me get you all better."

Once he entered the house, Zacky welcomed the cool air conditioning and wiped his sweat on his shirt. He watched as Matt ran to the fridge to retrieve two juice boxes and drank thirstily in the dining room with his friend while Mrs. Sanders went to get the first aid kit.

The rest of that day was spent indoors. Zacky and Matt let their imaginations run wild and the house was filled with the sounds of their laughter and made up dialogue. They had dinner and showered and were even allowed to stay up until 9:30 and were pretty tired out by the time they were tucked in.

"Good night, boys. I'll see you two in the morning okay?" Mrs. Sanders said after kissing each of them on the forehead. They chimed back in reply and waited until the door shut before whispering in the dark.

"Today was really fun, Mattie." Zacky said in a low voice, grinning in the dark.

Matt nodded. "Uh huh. Except for when you got hurt. I was scared, Zacky!"

"Me, too! Me, too! It hurt a lot." Zacky replied, nodding vigorously.

"Be more careful next time, 'kay Zack?"

"'Kay, Mattie."

Both of them stayed silent for the next few moments, recounting the day's adventures. Matt sighed, content with the missions they had accomplished.

"I love you, Zacky." he whispered suddenly, smiling.

Zacky giggled. "I love you, too, Mattie."

"Boys! Go to sleep!" Matt's mother called from down the hall.

Both of them giggled before telling the other goodnight, and falling into a peaceful sleep.

The beatings suddenly didn't hurt as much.