For You

Weeks passed by and Zack began to notice a certain change in Matt’s way of behaving towards him. Matt wasn’t really what you’d call nice, but he wasn’t being an asshole either. It was like he had just started to ignore Zacky at all cost.

He had also noticed that he wouldn’t join his friends in beating him anymore and he’d always break up the fights before things went too out of hand. This made Zacky smile, he was starting to get his hopes up.

What if Matt was slowly starting to change his mind about him? Maybe, just maybe.. Matt was actually considering taking Zacky back as his friend?

He couldn’t help but to have a small smile plastered on his pierced lips for the rest of the day. A part of his mind told him that he was getting his hopes up for nothing, but his little heart couldn't help but feel the swell of longing.

It was an hour after school let out and Zacky was late as he had some work he desperately needed to catch up on. Glad to be done studying, he scurried out of the classroom after mumbling a quick 'goodbye' to his teacher. In the hallways, he spotted Matt, who also seemed to have gotten out late today.

Zacky bit his lip for a moment, wondering he should say hi or not. Nothing to lose right?

"H-hi.. M-Matt.." Zacky called out softly, with a shy smile on his face. He had to stop himself from saying Mattie.

Matt jumped slightly and turned around, narrowing his eyes when he saw who was calling him. Zacky gulped. Perhaps saying hello wasn't the best thing in the world to do.

Expecting the larger boy to walk over and give him a good punch or something, Zacky backed against the locker, still staring, now fearfully, at Matt. Instead, Matt nodded in acknowledgment and gathered the rest of his books, and abruptly left the school without a word.

The smile on Zacky's face returned.

Clutching his book tightly to his chest, Zacky almost skipped home, but his leg was kind of hurting. He wanted to whistle or hum, but he didn't want to get unwanted attention from unwanted people. So he carried on normally, minus the fact that he was grinning like an idiot.

When he got home, Zacky saw that his father was nowhere in sight. That was better for him, anyway. He scampered up to his room and locked the door, pushing his drawer to barricade it as he always did when he had the chance. Safe. He'd be safe for tonight. Hungry, but safe.

Zacky tried to do his homework, he really did. But math was really hard and he just could never understand anything. Plus he had this growing feeling of excitement in his stomach from the day's events.

He slept so peacefully that night. Even though something in the back of his mind kept telling him it would all be over soon. That all this was too good to be true and that he was just raising his hopes up.

But the back of his mind was wrong.

Though Matt did not acknowledge him with people around, he still gave Zacky nods every now and then when he was sure no one would notice. Matt also found clever ways to get Zacky out of beatings while still looking like the school bad ass. Sure he had to use a few harmful words, but it was all sticks and stones at times like these.

Zacky figured that things will start getting better and better and before anyone knew it.. Everything would be okay again. He still couldn't gather the courage the talk to Matt, though. Not yet at least. Matt always had his friends around and, well, Zacky was perfectly content with the way things were going.

Contrary to his school life, Zacky's home life seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. He couldn't even step into his own home and opted to climb in through his bedroom window. How sad. How pitiful. But he couldn't help it. He honestly thought he would die if he couldn't avoid his father who seemed to be in a progressively worse mood from work. It was terrifying being at home and he hid in a library or park until nightfall, when he would sneak back home.

But maybe things at home would get better, too.

"Zack, whatsa matter?" nine year old Matt, utterly confused and concerned, asked his best friend who had ran down the street in tears to his house.

Sniffling, Zacky couldn't form coherent words and instead launched himself into Matt's open arms. Matt then saw a newly formed bruise on the smaller boy's cheek. Eyes wide, he exclaimed, "Oh gosh, Zacky! What happened?! We have to show my mommy. She'll know what to do."

Suddenly, Zacky tore away from Matt, screaming, "No! We can't show her! M-my dad will be more angry.. It was my fault, really, Mattie.. Really. Please don't tell.."

"Come on, Zack!" Matt insisted. "My mom's showering right now so we can wait a bit--"

"I'll never talk to you again if you tell! Don't tell anyone, Mattie!" Zacky screeched, about to leave.

Matt instinctively grabbed Zacky's arm. "Zack, don't leave. I.. I promise I won't tell.." he said, defeated and wishing his friend would let his mom help. He quietly added, "Um.. Wanna go to my backyard?"

Zacky nodded and let himself be lead to Matt's very familiar yard and sat down on the steps. He was still crying, and tried to stop. It was part of the reason why his dad had gotten so angry. He let the tears flow, though, when Matt pulled him into a protective hug. "I.. I didn't mean to break the cup.." Zacky stammered into Matt's shirt. "B-but I shoulda been more careful, I guess.. My dad was already kinda mad from work."

Matt frowned. "I don't think he shoulda hit you, though Zacky. It's so scary."

"I-I promise it was only this time.. He won't ever do it again.."

"Where was your mom?"

"Work.." Zacky whispered. "She's always working now.."

Matt sighed, feeling useless. "Um.. Um.. You can sleep over, Zack. I'm sure my mom won't mind--"

"I can't.."

"Why?"

"Because my dad won't want me to."

"I can ask for you--"

"No, Mattie!" Zacky interrupted, abruptly pulling away from Matt. "You can't talk to him. H-He might hurt you, too.."

"I can handle it, I swear!"

Frustrated, Zacky stood up and said, "Nevermind, Mattie. I wanna go home now. You promise you won't tell anyone right?"

Matt looked away, unwilling to make such a promise. Zacky stamped his feet in exasperation. "You promised earlier! You promised!"

Shocked from Zacky's sudden outburst, Matt stuttered, "I-I promise Z-Zacky.. I-I won't t-tell.."

Wiping his tears one last time, Zacky nodded. He bade his friend a solemn goodbye and left before Mrs. Sanders finished her shower. Matt was left confused and slightly frightened of what would happen to Zacky. He so badly wanted to tell.. But he promised..

When Zacky got home, his dad apologized and cooked him a great dinner and bought him new toys. Zacky still felt uncomfortable for some reason but knew he had to play along. He smiled and laughed and pretended he was happy, when inside he was trembling with fear. Good thing he had a bedtime. He didn't know how long he'd be able to keep up with the charade.

He was never hit again until a few years later.. After his mom left.. And everything went to hell.

"Mr. Baker!"

Zacky snapped back to reality from his sudden flashback and looked up at his cross math teacher. "Mind telling us what you were thinking about?"

"I-- uh.. N-nothing--"

"I bet he was day dreaming about boning Matt Sanders." someone sniggered. People were starting to catch up on Matt's facade. The class burst into laughter and it took the teacher several minutes to calm everyone down.

Zacky felt his face grow very hot, "I-I wasn't--"

"Oh, god he's stammering! He was thinking about Matt!" a girl giggled. Again, it took a while for the class to settle.

It was a good thing Matt was too smart to be in this class. But then again, Zacky was one of the oldest students seeing as he had failed the class already. And was on the brink of failing twice.

The bell rang and Zacky sprinted out of the room, unable to face the humiliation for much longer. Yeah, he was thinking of Matt, but not in the way the others' were taunting him with. Word would spread quickly and Zacky knew he'd be in big trouble after school. He bit his lip as he heard David, one of Matt's so called friends, tried to taunt Matt with how how he was avoiding Zacky and also brought what happened in math class.

When the halls suddenly became quiet, Zacky slowly turned around and saw Matt standing over David, who had a bloody nose and was now stammering out an apology.

"You say one more thing and the whole school will know what happened last weekend." Matt said darkly. David's eyes widened and he couldn't seem to form coherent words. This was another way Matt kept his power in check. He knew everyone's dirty little secret.

The bell rang and Matt spat on David before making his way to his next class The only class he and Zacky had together: English.

Thankfully, nothing eventful happened until after school. Saved by another make up assignment Zacky had to complete for Biology, he was let out late again and saw that Matt was, too. Once again. Matt, very deep in thought, didn't notice Zacky on the other side of the halls and quietly made his way outside. After a moment of hesitation, Zacky jogged up to Matt and called out his name.

Matt visibly jumped and sighed, turning around. "What, Baker?"

Zacky gulped and answered in a shaky voice, "I-I.. j-just.. I just w-wanted to.. th-thank you.."

He cringed as Matt rolled his eyes and walked away. Feeling stubborn for some reason, Zacky called his name out again. More agitated this time around, Matt growled, "You better have a good reason for wasting my time, Baker."

Gulping again, Zacky stuttered, "C-Can I ask you.. something?"

When he didn't get a reply, Zacky continued. "I-I really miss you, Matt.. Can't- can't we be friends again?"

Narrowing his eyes, Matt suddenly grabbed Zacky by the arm and dragged him all the way to a nearby park. He shoved Zacky against a tree and muttered dangerously, "Stay away from me."

"But we used to be so close!" Zacky blurted out. "Why do you hate me now?! Why can't you just like me?"

Matt sighed in annoyance. "You know exactly why--"

"I don't know! So just.. tell me.. Please--"

"It's because your'e a fag, Baker! Your'e a loser. Don't you have enough sense to know that you and I can't be friends?!"

Matt's words stung, but Zacky was determined not to let go. He didn't know where his courage was coming from. Perhaps the slight changes in Matt's behavior gave him the small extra push he needed.

"You didn't care about that before! You didn't care that I.. that I.. liked boys.. You didn't care that I liked.. you." Zacky breathed in quickly. "And you said you that you liked me--"

Zacky never got to finish his sentence as Matt punched his face and knocked him to the ground. Before he could react or defend himself, Matt delivered a kick to his stomach, knocking the air away from him. But that wasn't the end. With no one else in the hidden corner of the park, Matt gave Zacky the worst beating he ever endured. Zacky drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the several minutes that felt like several hours and at the end of it could barely see or breath.

"I tried playing nice, Baker." Matt spat at Zacky. "i felt sorry for your pathetic ass and tried to lay off a bit. I can't believe you'd even think about saying such a disgusting thing. Don't go around thinking that every guy that doesn't beat the crap out of you is gay. Stop living in your sick fantasies and get a grip."

With a final kick, Matt swiftly left a broken Zacky on the ground. Zacky didn't even try to stop the tears. He didn't even try moving, even though it started to rain later. He couldn't. It hurt too much. He had a feeling he would be spending the rest of the night and tomorrow on the ground here.

And to think that things were getting better.