Let Me In

Trailing a finger along the beads of condensation that had begun to form on the ice cold beer bottle, Brian sat completely absorbed in his thoughts, blotting out the voices around him. It was a Friday night at Johnny’s Bar, and any other time he would have been joining in the jokes and conversation, but tonight it was doubtful he could have even told you what had been said.

It had been eleven days since he had seen Beth, and instead of trying to move forward and forget about what might have been, Brian found himself thinking about her more and more with each day that passed. He missed being able to call her and talk for hours, hearing her voice, her laugh. He missed making plans with her, even though they had only really been getting to know each other for a few short weeks. Brian knew that it sounded pathetic, but he had to face the truth, he wanted Beth and no one else.

Raising the bottle to his lips, Brian was suddenly aware of someone sitting next to him in the booth. He glanced over, giving Jen a half-hearted smile as he placed the bottle back on the table. It was a little weird seeing Matt with the same girl for more than one night, yet it appeared that Jen had something that none of the others over the last couple of years obviously lacked. In spite of how he felt about his own situation, he was glad that Matt may have found someone.

“I know I don’t even have to ask the reason for the lack of enthusiasm tonight,” Jen began softly. “All I’m going to say is that if it helps, her face has pretty much matched yours since it happened.”

Brian could do no more than nod in reply, just one question running through his mind, a question that he was to afraid to even ask.

“I tried to reason with her Brian, but once she explained it to me, I knew there was no persuading her otherwise,” Jen continued. “Colby’s not going to make this easy for her.”

“Yeah, she said,” Brian finally answered, draining his beer, reaching for the fresh one Jimmy had placed in front of him a few minutes earlier.

“I just miss her,” he murmured.

“You two really connected huh?” Jen probed.

“More than I thought possible. I’ve spent the best part of twelve years with a woman who was more concerned about herself, so meeting someone like Beth has been a revelation. I just wish she had let me in a little more, I still had so much to learn about her, wanted to know about her. But I can’t do that now.”

Jen placed her hand over Brian’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Brian, if it wasn’t for Colby threatening to go for custody of Nate, then this wouldn’t be happening,” she explained.

“Nate, so that’s his name,” Brian stated sadly.

Jen frowned at his words, not quite sure if she had heard him correctly.

“Wait, did Beth not tell you his name?” she questioned.

Brian laughed with a shake of his head.

“She never even told me she had a son, I found out through others.”

“Shit!” Jen hissed. “I can’t believe her! Who told you?”

Jen listened as Brian told her of the day Matt had mentioned about what his mother had said, how he had gone to his father for clarification, and how Brian Sr had warned him not to push Beth on the subject, that he had to allow her to tell him in her own time.

“Dad just said that it was a little more complicated than her just having a son,” Brian concluded.

“Well he’s kinda right there, which is what makes me so sick about this whole Colby situation. He’s never going to be a candidate for father of the year, not with the way he’s treated Nate since they found out.”

“Found out what?” Brian questioned, confused.

Jen closed her eyes as she shook her head, knowing that she had gone too far.

“Brian, I can’t,” she murmured apologetically.

“Why is that all I hear?” Brian slammed his bottle down on the table. “What is so bad that people won’t tell me? That they insist that it has to be down to Beth to let me know? At this rate, I’m never gonna found out, because she’s not exactly an open book!”

Standing, Brian retrieved his keys from his pocket.

“Is she home tonight?” he asked.

“Brian…”

“Is she at home?” he repeated.

Jen shook her head.

“No, she’s at her cousin’s engagement party, big family affair.”

“She mentioned it, the one at Lakewood.”

“You can’t just go storming over there, Bri,” Jen tried to rationalize.

“I need to see her Jen, I need to get this sorted,” Brian told her, already on his way out the door.

***************

Trying to enjoy herself was a task Beth was having a difficult time with. She would have much preferred to have stayed at home, but her parents had been insistant that she get out of the house, seeing as she had already accepted the invitation for Cathy’s engagement. It was the first time Beth had seen the majority of her family since her return to Huntington Beach, and each time one of her relatives approached her, Beth found herself bracing herself for the sympathetic looks and the questions that were no doubt burning away in the back of their minds. Thankfully, they never came.

The only thing Beth was enjoying about the evening was watching Nate having a good time. It made her smile to see him attempting to dance with her mother, and even interact a little with Cathy’s daughter, Phoebe, who had taken quite a shine to him. It was the tonic she needed, even if it was only a temporary cure to how she really felt inside.

As much as she could pretend that she was fine, Beth knew she was only lying to herself and those around her. There was an emptiness inside her, a void that could only be filled by one thing. Yet Beth knew that wasn’t a possibility, that she needed to concentrate on making sure she kept her little family together, no matter what.

“Sweetheart, your phone.”

Beth turned her attention to her father as he handed over her clutch bag. Thanking him, Beth took out her cell, stepping out of the room to find somewhere more quiet.

“I think I fucked up,” Jen announced, not even giving Beth a chance to say hello.

Beth listened, her heart sinking as Jen explained her conversation with Brian.

“He’s on his way to see you, I tried to stop him, but he was adamant. Beth, I’m sorry, ” she whispered, clearly upset.

“If anyone should be sorry it’s me,” Beth admitted. “I should have been more honest. I’d better go.”

Saying a hasty good bye, Beth hurried back into the party, finding her mother and Nate seated at their table.

“Mom, I’m going to have to step out for a bit. Jen spoke to Brian tonight, and he’s on his way over.”

Audrey Cooperman sighed, giving her daughter a smile that was filled to the brim with sympathy and concern.

“Just go and do whatever you need to do honey.”

Kneeling in front of Nate, Beth stroked his cheek.

“Listen buddy, I’ve got to talk to a friend about something, so Grammy and Grumpy will take you back to theirs, and I will be there when you get up in the morning okay?” Beth explained, waiting for a negative reaction.

“Okay,” Nate answered happily.

Relieved, Beth kissed his forehead, telling him to be good and that she loved him. Thanking her mother, she took a deep breath before heading outside. Stepping out into the warm night air, Beth saw the Fastback pulling into the parking lot. She continued to walk to over as Brian got out. He stared at her for a minute, obviously working out that Jen had called to warn her.

“You ready to talk?” he asked quietly.

Opening the passenger door, Beth just nodded and got in the car.