Love Letters

“I want that chocolate cake,” Pax said, eyeballing it as it sat on the table in front of Aiden. He raised his eyebrows and brought it toward him defensively.

“It’s mine,” he hissed, lifting his fork. I stared at the two of them, amazed and a little unimpressed. After all, this was a grown man and one that was getting there arguing over the last piece of chocolate cake. I wasn’t going to say anything though, because I really didn’t want to get inside either of their heads.

“I don’t care. I want it,” Pax said, putting his chin in his hand. His eyes narrowed into mere slits, and I knew that he was trying to telepathically convince Aiden into giving it to him. Aiden pushed the plate toward him and when Pax reached for it, he pulled it back. He burst into laughter.

“Who do you think you’re dealing with here?” Aiden asked, putting a hand on his chest. “I’m the master of food snatching.” Pax looked at me for reassurance. I nodded.

“It’s true. He is,” I said.

“Can I please have a piece?” Pax whined. “I haven’t eaten anything all morning.”

“She just made you a bagel,” Trey laughed from the sink, rinsing off his plate. The twins had come over for breakfast on Wednesday morning so that we could all walk to school together, and I hadn’t hung out with both of them at the same time for a while.

Pax glared at his brother, who put up his hands innocently and walked out of the kitchen, not wanting to get involved. “Just give me a piece,” Pax ordered, reaching for it. Aiden pointed his fork at him with a strong grip around the handle and the devil in his eyes.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“No. Dammit!”

I smiled and grabbed Pax’s sweater, pulling him out of the chair. “Come on. We’re going to be late for school,” I said, dragging him to the door.

“This is not over,” Pax growled at my brother and put his shoes on.

“Yeah it is! This’ll be gone before you even get to school!” Aiden called back. I stuck my head around the corner.

“Why are you even here?” I asked. “Go home. You have a family to look after. And it’s like . . . seven thirty. Stop eating chocolate cake so early in the morning.”

He rolled his eyes and put the cake in the fridge.

“Did he give it up? Did he give it up?” Pax asked quickly, eyes wide with excitement.

“Yeah, but—”

“Yes!” Pax ran for it but Trey caught his collar and pulled him back.

“Nice try. We’ve got to go,” he said, pulling his coat on and doing up the buttons. Pax growled at the back of his throat and grabbed his backpack, walking out the door with the two of us behind him.

Trey rubbed his hands together. “Holy crap, it’s cold.”

“It’s almost wintertime. Suck it up,” Pax replied.

“Then why are you shivering?”

“Because I’m not wearing a coat.”

“Then put one on?”

“Suck—”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Trey said quickly, scowling in disgust. “I know what you were going to say. You hang out with Andy a little too much and some things just are not appropriate to say to your brother.”

Pax ignored him and turned to me. “Have you talked to Andy?”

I shook my head. “Did she say anything?”

“What happened with Andy?” Trey asked.

“No, at least not to me,” Pax replied, continuing to pay no attention to his brother. “I’m sure she didn’t mean what she said. You know what anger does to people. She probably just said it without even thinking about it. And out of fear, she was concerned about losing you so she probably pushed you away. That way, she wouldn’t have to worry about Roxy taking her place. Fear and anger take over her mind like a frickin’ virus.”

“Since when did you become a psychologist?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“I . . . read a lot,” he said, shrugging.

“What happened with Andy?” Trey repeated.

“She’s angry with me,” I said, biting my lip. “I wasn’t the nicest person, apparently.”

“She thought that Roxy was replacing her,” Pax added.

“That’s ridiculous. You two have been friends for way longer than you’ve even known Roxy,” Trey said.

“Well, not really but I know what you’re getting at,” I said. “I tried to apologize and she flipped out at me.”

“Try harder,” Trey said. “You guys have been best friends for too long to let something stupid like this be the reason your friendship ends.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“You know why he doesn’t like Dalton, don’t you?” I asked Pax, crossing my arms on the lunch table. He kept his eyes on his binder, but I saw his jaw tighten and then relax again after he has swallowed down the lump in his throat. He said nothing. “Pax.” I kicked him under the table and he grunted, but said nothing. I kicked him again, harder this time, and he shot me a glare. “Will you answer my question please?” I demanded, getting ready to kick him again when he remained silent, but he moved his legs to the side of his chair and sat up straight, sighing.

“I do,” he said. My eyebrows shot up. “But I’m not going to tell you.” And he went back to reading. My jaw dropped, so I slammed my hand down on his binder and pulled it toward me. “Hey!” He reached for it, but it was out of his hands now.

“Tell me,” I said.

He frowned. “Karlee, it’s none of my business,” he said. “If Trey wants you to know, he’ll tell you. It’s not my place.”

“Can you at least give me an idea on what it’s about?” I asked desperately, my shoulders dropping. “Or if I throw out topics, can you just tell me whether I’m right or not?”

“No—”

“You can just nod or shake your head,” I said quickly. “Then you won’t be getting in trouble for anything. You wouldn’t have told me why he was upset so it’s not like he can yell at you, right?”

Pax paused and cleared his throat. “All right, I guess that’s fair. You only get five guesses though.”

“Five?!”

“Fine, ten.”

I glared at him.

“Never mind. Take however many you need. Just give me my binder back,” he said, holding out his hand.

“Not until you give me some answers.”

He sighed. “Okay then. Go ahead.”

“Does it have to do with Ruby?” I asked. Pax shook his head. “Roxy?” He lifted a hand and tilted it from side to side, telling me it sort of related to that. “Does it have to do with me?” He frowned and I put up my hands. “All right, fine. Does it have anything to do with the whole football fiasco?” He rested his chin in his hand and shook his head.

"Can you give me better hints than that?"

"What, do you want me to play charades or something?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Sure, if that'll work better," I said. He sighed and made a box with his hands around his left eye. When I didn't say anything, he changed it to one hand and made a circular motion beside his face like he was a camera man from the thirties. "What the hell?" I asked, and he widened his eyes at me, telling me to say something. "I don't know. Uhm . . . something to do with the movies? Oh! Does it have to do anything with the time I went to the theatre with Dalton and saw Roxy with Josh together?"

Pax paused. "No, but let's come back to that."

"Well I don't know. What else can you come up with that doesn't involve telling me?" I questioned, frowning deeply. He bit his lip, trying to think and then picked up his binder, pointing to it. "Words? Uhm . . . English class. Trey doesn't want to have Dalton in the class with us? Does it have something to do with the letters?"

"That's a different issue."

"Wait, there's two reasons?" I asked, eyes wide,

"We're not focusing on that," he said, shaking his head. He made a circle around a few words when I tried to see it, his fingers kept getting in the way. "Does that say 'taxadermy'? Uhm . . . Dalton wants to be a taxadermist and Trey's very supportive of living things?" I was being sarcastic, but Pax didn't think it was funny. "I don't know!" I exclaimed.

He threw his binder down. “It says 'documentary'! Oh my God. At this rate, you’re never going to get it,” Pax stressed, dropping his head into his hands. “This actually makes me want to tell you.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because it’s none of my business!” he exclaimed. I shifted and slid his binder back across the table to him but he didn’t seem to care, because he just pushed it to the side and folded his arms on the table. “Look, you know I would tell you anything in a heartbeat if I could, but Trey’s my brother. He trusts me with his life and that’s a bond I am, in no way, willing to break.”

I sighed and nodded. “I just wish I knew why he dislikes him so much.”

Pax looked around cautiously and then leaned close to me. “I’ll give you a hint,” he said. “And if it really means that much to you to find out, then talk to Trey and ask him to tell you the whole story, okay?” I nodded anxiously. “It has to do with that video camera Trey bought.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What, did Dalton steal it or something? Because that’s not very nice.”

“That’s not it,” he said. “Remember when Trey asked us to help him with his directory project, when we would give him time for an interview?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, what about it?” Pax just nodded and sat back, folding his hands on his lap. My eyes went wide and I bent forward. “Did he say something on that tape that—”

“Just talk to Trey,” he said, lifting a hand. Then Andy walked into the cafeteria and looked around, most likely for Pax. We just stared up at her and when she locked eyes with me, I noticed that she didn’t look angry anymore; rather upset and regretful.

“Hey,” I said softly. “Do you want to sit down with us?”

She nodded. “Sure.”

And I knew I didn’t have to apologize anymore.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Wow," Andy breathed, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "I really missed a lot. I'm sorry I overreacted. I didn't mean to say what I did. I was just . . . jealous, I guess."

I nodded. "I understand. I couldn't really talk to Roxy about all of this stuff because we're not that close. I needed you."

"Well, I'm here now." She folded her legs. "So what do you want to talk to me about?" she asked as Pax walked out the room muttering "where the hell is that goddamn cake?"

"This whole Dalton thing is really stressing me out," I said, pacing the length of the room. "Trey told me that he doesn't like him because of something big, but I don't know what that is and Pax refuses to tell me too. He gave me a hint that it had something to do with that project Trey had for his directory class but that doesn't really narrow it down. I mean, is he referring to Dalton saying something rude on the tape or something about Roxy or what? I just don't get it."

"Well maybe you should talk to Trey," Andy said. "You know he'd tell you any secret within the blink of an eye. And he's incompetent with keeping stuff from you so you could probably ask to see the whole tape and he would show it to you."

I sighed. "I'll check in with him. He wasn't willing to tell me anything before, though. I don't expect he'll just suddenly change his mind unless he has a really good reason to," I replied.

"Well give him a reason," she said. "Say that if it's that big of a deal, then he needs to tell you. Or lie, and say something like 'if you don't tell me, I guess you're not really my friend'."

I laughed. "I doubt I'd be able to do that."

She shrugged. "Try it. It might work." Then Pax walked upstairs with Aiden's cake on his plate and a contempt smile on his face.

"Oh God," he said happily, sitting down on my computer chair. "I've reached heaven and it is delicious."

I went over to see Trey a few hours after Andy and Pax had gone out to see a movie together, so I wouldn't have to worry about Pax eavesdropping in case something really brutal slipped out. I wasn't really sure what to expect but I was hoping that I would at least get the truth out of him.

"So what's this about?" Trey asked, looking through his closet for a different shirt to wear. "You said it was important and I'd love to stay and chat if it's going to be a long discussion but I told Ruby I would meet up with her and take her out to the mall."

"It's about Dalton," I said, crossing my arms. Trey went still for a moment, and then shrugged it off, kept looking for something to wear. "Why won't you tell me why you don't like him?"

"Because it's confidential," he said, grabbing a button-up shirt off the hanger and throwing it on his bed. "It's not my place to tell."

"If it's about me, then I think I should know," I said, frowning. He looked at me over his shoulder.

"And how do you know it has anything to do with you?"

"Can I see the video you made?" I asked, ignoring his question. "You know, that one you made for your class."

He gulped. "Why?"

"I just want to see," I said, spotting the video camera on his desk. I went for it but Trey quickly stepped in my way and put his arms out. "Why so defensive?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

He scowled. "Pax told you."

"No," I said. "I guessed and you just confirmed. He said something on that tape that you don't want me to see, but I want to know why."

"Because it's not your business," he said, grabbing it and putting it in a cupboard that I couldn't reach. The only way I would be able to get to it was if I stood on a chair but the door had a key, and Trey locked it and put it in his pocket. "Now, I don't mean to be rude, but I can't tell you because every interview I have recorded on that stays between me and the person I interviewed. If it comes down to it and I feel that I really need to tell you, I will but for now, I'm not going to say anything."

Trey pulled his shirt over his head and I covered my eyes. "It doesn't bother me if you look. You've seen me without a shirt before," he said.

"You were swimming. This is a little different of a dynamic," I replied. Trey chuckled.

"Well I'm done," he said and I lowered my hand. He did up the last button of his shirt and grabbed his cell phone off the bed. Trey walked right past me to the door but stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Look, I'm sorry that I can't tell you anything but I promised everyone that I wouldn't say anything to anyone."

"But you told Pax."

"He's my brother." Trey sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, it's hard to understand. I tell him everything, even the things I don't tell you. Things like . . ." He cut himself off and I held my breath.

"Like what?"

He shook his head. "Never mind. Look, just don't worry about it. It's my own reason not to like him," he said. "I've got to go so I'll see you later." And then he gone and I was left by myself standing in his room, desperately wanting to break into that cupboard.