My Best Mistake
Chapter Two.
The night didn’t last nearly as long as I had hoped it would and as most of the day had passed by with the company of a train set, a game of marbles and a presentation of his favourite magazines I felt a severe lack of the outside world. The bedroom had no windows, and the dark colour drew in most of the light, I had no feeling of claustrophobia just that I needed to connect with fresh air and the sun.
"Can we go for a walk?" Jason looked at me for a moment then agreed. We left the house unattended and escaped the garden through a hedge onto the field next door. The scent of the meadow around us relaxed me. I breathed it in, taking advantage of the feeling, letting it fill me, take over me. The sun was high in the sky as the long summer day was cooling off into the evening. I barely noticed insects flying, jumping and crawling around, I wasn't of a mind to let the menial things annoy me.
I stopped in my tracks and just stood roughly in the middle of the field, where I knew any curious ears wouldn't be able to hear us. There was an odd kind of privacy in the wide open space around us. I could see Jason sit in my peripheral vision and decided to join him. I started ringing my hands and occasionally pulling a piece of hair or putting a strand behind my ear. Never once did I look at him, his eyes were a feature I avoided at all costs.
"Okay." I breathed out of the blue and he looked at me waiting. "Okay, how... okay." My breathing increased and I tried to calm myself.
"What is it?"
"It's why I'm here, why I've been asked to leave by my parents." I stopped and looked at his face, almost innocent with ignorance. "Jason, I'm pregnant." I let my hands fall onto my lap and ignored the hair that was flying across my face, I was busy, watching for his reaction. For a long time there wasn't one, he sat and looked at the floor for what seemed to be a lifetime. I barely moved, only the rising and falling of my chest. Childishly, I thought that moving too severely may provoke some kind of anger in him; that he might think I was going to try and comfort him or make contact with him in some way. He didn't move, he didn't speak, and we sat in silence.
"What are we going to do?" I was almost shocked that was the first phrase to come out of his mouth. "I could, get a job? But we can't stay here."
"No, we can't. Or, I can't."
"If you're going somewhere, I'm following. What's happened is a mistake, but my mum brought me up better than that." He looked at me. I was afraid to say I was reassured that he seemed adamant to help me, to stay with me; to keep our baby. I felt, in a way, comforted. He was prepared to take control of the situation, take responsibility for his actions. Or, his share of our problem at least. In fact, I'd thought that he would run and hide from the situation, hold his head high, leave me in shame alone.
A sudden gasp distracted me. "My mum. What if she kicks us both out? Then we don't even have anywhere to stay while we make money to afford a place."
"Well, I guess we'll just have to save for a while. We have a few months right? I can still work for a few months. You can work. I'm just, so confused right now, I don't know what to do."
---
Jason sat in the cramped living area inspecting the wooden flood below him. He attempted to concentrate on what his Mother was saying to him, something about the Aberton’s who live up the street, how their son was taking over the family business and how proud they all were of him, but it was without much luck. His mind was in too many other places right now, like how he was going to tell his mum that the girl who had turned up at their doorstep dripping wet a couple of nights ago, was pregnant with his child. And that it had only happened because of a drunken mistake.
"Where's Anna?" Jason cringed backward into the rugged sofa.
"She's asleep."
"Poor girl. I just wish I knew what I could do to help. I don't want to be rude by asking her what's happened."
"Mother." Jason turned his head to look at the woman who cared about the girl so much, hoping she would still care when she knew. "Anna's pregnant."
"Would I be right in thinking that it is your doing?"
Without realising what was happening, Jason suddenly found tears streaking down his pink cheeks. He felt like he'd let her down, he was sixteen and already turning his Mother into a Grandmother. There were arms around him, at first, he'd imagined them there, but he felt the heat and knew it was his Mother's embrace.
"Mother, I'm sorry!" He wept into the woman's cardigan clad shoulder. "We don't know what to do, she's so scared."
"Are you angry?"
"What? No! Maybe, I don't know! I'm just as confused as she is." He leant over and put his head in his hands trying to calm himself. He knew he shouldn't blow up at his Mother, it was his fault he was in this situation, she had nothing to do with it.
Footsteps, he heard Anna from the stone floor kitchen. She entered the room and saw him crying, she looked once into his Mother’s eyes and knew, she no longer needed to worry she was in safe hands. Jason stood, he walked to Anna and stopped before looking at her simply, she was peaceful. She was calm. Jason placed him hands on her cheeks running the hair through his fingers gently, she looked at him, still scared and confused. “It’s okay, we’ll be okay.” He smiled and pressed his lips upon hers as he felt a single tear escape her beautiful blue eyes. They were going to love and protect this child just as well as his Mother loved and protected him, he wasn’t going to let her down again. A son’s love.
"Can we go for a walk?" Jason looked at me for a moment then agreed. We left the house unattended and escaped the garden through a hedge onto the field next door. The scent of the meadow around us relaxed me. I breathed it in, taking advantage of the feeling, letting it fill me, take over me. The sun was high in the sky as the long summer day was cooling off into the evening. I barely noticed insects flying, jumping and crawling around, I wasn't of a mind to let the menial things annoy me.
I stopped in my tracks and just stood roughly in the middle of the field, where I knew any curious ears wouldn't be able to hear us. There was an odd kind of privacy in the wide open space around us. I could see Jason sit in my peripheral vision and decided to join him. I started ringing my hands and occasionally pulling a piece of hair or putting a strand behind my ear. Never once did I look at him, his eyes were a feature I avoided at all costs.
"Okay." I breathed out of the blue and he looked at me waiting. "Okay, how... okay." My breathing increased and I tried to calm myself.
"What is it?"
"It's why I'm here, why I've been asked to leave by my parents." I stopped and looked at his face, almost innocent with ignorance. "Jason, I'm pregnant." I let my hands fall onto my lap and ignored the hair that was flying across my face, I was busy, watching for his reaction. For a long time there wasn't one, he sat and looked at the floor for what seemed to be a lifetime. I barely moved, only the rising and falling of my chest. Childishly, I thought that moving too severely may provoke some kind of anger in him; that he might think I was going to try and comfort him or make contact with him in some way. He didn't move, he didn't speak, and we sat in silence.
"What are we going to do?" I was almost shocked that was the first phrase to come out of his mouth. "I could, get a job? But we can't stay here."
"No, we can't. Or, I can't."
"If you're going somewhere, I'm following. What's happened is a mistake, but my mum brought me up better than that." He looked at me. I was afraid to say I was reassured that he seemed adamant to help me, to stay with me; to keep our baby. I felt, in a way, comforted. He was prepared to take control of the situation, take responsibility for his actions. Or, his share of our problem at least. In fact, I'd thought that he would run and hide from the situation, hold his head high, leave me in shame alone.
A sudden gasp distracted me. "My mum. What if she kicks us both out? Then we don't even have anywhere to stay while we make money to afford a place."
"Well, I guess we'll just have to save for a while. We have a few months right? I can still work for a few months. You can work. I'm just, so confused right now, I don't know what to do."
---
Jason sat in the cramped living area inspecting the wooden flood below him. He attempted to concentrate on what his Mother was saying to him, something about the Aberton’s who live up the street, how their son was taking over the family business and how proud they all were of him, but it was without much luck. His mind was in too many other places right now, like how he was going to tell his mum that the girl who had turned up at their doorstep dripping wet a couple of nights ago, was pregnant with his child. And that it had only happened because of a drunken mistake.
"Where's Anna?" Jason cringed backward into the rugged sofa.
"She's asleep."
"Poor girl. I just wish I knew what I could do to help. I don't want to be rude by asking her what's happened."
"Mother." Jason turned his head to look at the woman who cared about the girl so much, hoping she would still care when she knew. "Anna's pregnant."
"Would I be right in thinking that it is your doing?"
Without realising what was happening, Jason suddenly found tears streaking down his pink cheeks. He felt like he'd let her down, he was sixteen and already turning his Mother into a Grandmother. There were arms around him, at first, he'd imagined them there, but he felt the heat and knew it was his Mother's embrace.
"Mother, I'm sorry!" He wept into the woman's cardigan clad shoulder. "We don't know what to do, she's so scared."
"Are you angry?"
"What? No! Maybe, I don't know! I'm just as confused as she is." He leant over and put his head in his hands trying to calm himself. He knew he shouldn't blow up at his Mother, it was his fault he was in this situation, she had nothing to do with it.
Footsteps, he heard Anna from the stone floor kitchen. She entered the room and saw him crying, she looked once into his Mother’s eyes and knew, she no longer needed to worry she was in safe hands. Jason stood, he walked to Anna and stopped before looking at her simply, she was peaceful. She was calm. Jason placed him hands on her cheeks running the hair through his fingers gently, she looked at him, still scared and confused. “It’s okay, we’ll be okay.” He smiled and pressed his lips upon hers as he felt a single tear escape her beautiful blue eyes. They were going to love and protect this child just as well as his Mother loved and protected him, he wasn’t going to let her down again. A son’s love.