Disguises
Matvey.
Recently, I have been spending more and more time with Macy and Pat. Macy, Pat, and I have almost all of our classes together, and after school, we'll go over each others' houses. School has been a drag lately. I rush through the hallways to avoid Tyler, and I've actually stopped going to my locker during the day. Since I have been changing my routes around the school, I barely see Greyson. I feel horrible about it. Everyday after school, I'm not at home, so I can't call him and explain. He probably thinks that I'm avoiding him. I need to text or call him sometime soon.
Pat is by my side, like he has been for the past week or two. If I wasn't so interested in Greyson, I think Pat and I would make a cute couple. He is that one friend that I tell everything to and trust the most. He is cute, too. I love the way his face is shaped, and how perfect his figure is. We have been friends for a long time, so many long years, and he actually cares about me. He isn't one of those friends that hangs around me because he thinks I'm a chick. He knows I cross dress, and he doesn't care. He cares more about my feelings, and how doesn't judge me. I love him for that. Of course, the love is only friendship worthy.
"Matvey, you need to stop zoning out. You're walking into people." Pat says, pulling me in the direction to class.
I didn't even realize I was bumping into everyone. Why do I have to always be so caught up in my thoughts? I mutter an apology, and I'm zoning again. I'm not trying to. Hell, I would much rather know who I'm talking to and how far away from class I am. I don't. In fact, this girl that keeps saying shit about my lack of breast today is pissing me off, and I just fucking push her away from me. She won't do shit. Pat laughs at my actions, and I'm guessing he was annoyed as much as I was. I was too lazy this morning to put on a bra or anything. I just climbed out of bed and pulled on a shirt and jeans. If anything, I might look the most like a guy I have ever looked in years. I can only take so much sometimes. It just gets annoying every now and then.
"Okay, so this summer, I'm thinking we should go to a bunch of concerts. It would be so much fun; Just you, Macy and me." Pat's telling me, as we stop at the classroom door. We're early, which shocks me. I guess going around the other way and meeting up with Tyler always took much longer. Since I have been avoiding him, I've been on time more often.
"Sounds fun. I think we should definitely go."
Pat nods, "Speaking of fun... we're going back over to Bryant's house tonight. You should come. Smoke a bit with us, Vee. You'll have so much fun, and you could get your mind off of Tyler and release all the stress he's causing you."
"You argue a good bargain, my friend." I laugh, "I'll go just because of that."
"Oh," He grins like a dumb ass. "You'll love it."
-
Tyler keeps texting me. He's nagging me about what's wrong. Maybe I'm being rather bitchy, but he just gets on my nerves. I tell him to fuck off, but he doesn't. He's asking what's wrong, and why I keep avoiding him. I turn my phone off and change.
Pat is downstairs, waiting for me, so I try not to take too long. I want to look good, without putting too much time into it. I pull on a dress. It is loose, which I like about it. It's a ruby red, and it ends about two or three inches above my knee. It is really simple, but with the bra I just put on, it looks really nice. I grab a necklace, and my mom's new lipstick. I've never worn lipstick out in public before, but I figured that it would look more like a chick, since I'm not wearing any other make-up. I grab my peacoat and a pair of slip on shoes, and I'm down the stairs and out the door with Pat.
I pull on my necklace, which is much more girlie than my ring, and I put on the lipstick. I smack my lips a few times before Pat pulls out of the driveway.
"You sure know how to step up your game. You were barely up there for ten minutes."
I laugh, "You really want to go to fuck your life up."
"I want to fuck your life up a bit," He laughs harder. "Would this be your first time getting high?"
I nod, nervous as fuck. "You aren't really fucking my life up, though. I did a good enough job."
I half expected him to nod and agree, but he stays silent. We're at Bryant's house in no time, and the warmth of his disgusting apartment is actually appealing. I climb into a spot on his couch, like last time, and he joins me. As they pass the joint around, this time I take it and bring it to my red lips. I inhale and pull it away. I cough, as I accidentally swallow the intoxicants. Bryant laughs, and "makes a move" by reaching his arm around me and pulling me closer. I guess it is his own way of reassuring me that I'll live. I would have much rather preferred a smack on the back.
I try again, but this time I'm getting the hang of it, and I blow the smoke out of my mouth. Bryant smirks and leans into me, and he slowly takes the joint from my hand. I see him bring it to his lips, even with my lipstick stains.
The more the joint gets passed around, the higher I'm getting, and it is such a great feeling. There are no worries, and I find myself laughing at everything. Macy and Pat are curled into each other, just talking, and every now and then, Pat will stare off into space. I don't know why, but I find everything so funny, and I lean closer to Bryant.
Pat is by my side, like he has been for the past week or two. If I wasn't so interested in Greyson, I think Pat and I would make a cute couple. He is that one friend that I tell everything to and trust the most. He is cute, too. I love the way his face is shaped, and how perfect his figure is. We have been friends for a long time, so many long years, and he actually cares about me. He isn't one of those friends that hangs around me because he thinks I'm a chick. He knows I cross dress, and he doesn't care. He cares more about my feelings, and how doesn't judge me. I love him for that. Of course, the love is only friendship worthy.
"Matvey, you need to stop zoning out. You're walking into people." Pat says, pulling me in the direction to class.
I didn't even realize I was bumping into everyone. Why do I have to always be so caught up in my thoughts? I mutter an apology, and I'm zoning again. I'm not trying to. Hell, I would much rather know who I'm talking to and how far away from class I am. I don't. In fact, this girl that keeps saying shit about my lack of breast today is pissing me off, and I just fucking push her away from me. She won't do shit. Pat laughs at my actions, and I'm guessing he was annoyed as much as I was. I was too lazy this morning to put on a bra or anything. I just climbed out of bed and pulled on a shirt and jeans. If anything, I might look the most like a guy I have ever looked in years. I can only take so much sometimes. It just gets annoying every now and then.
"Okay, so this summer, I'm thinking we should go to a bunch of concerts. It would be so much fun; Just you, Macy and me." Pat's telling me, as we stop at the classroom door. We're early, which shocks me. I guess going around the other way and meeting up with Tyler always took much longer. Since I have been avoiding him, I've been on time more often.
"Sounds fun. I think we should definitely go."
Pat nods, "Speaking of fun... we're going back over to Bryant's house tonight. You should come. Smoke a bit with us, Vee. You'll have so much fun, and you could get your mind off of Tyler and release all the stress he's causing you."
"You argue a good bargain, my friend." I laugh, "I'll go just because of that."
"Oh," He grins like a dumb ass. "You'll love it."
-
Tyler keeps texting me. He's nagging me about what's wrong. Maybe I'm being rather bitchy, but he just gets on my nerves. I tell him to fuck off, but he doesn't. He's asking what's wrong, and why I keep avoiding him. I turn my phone off and change.
Pat is downstairs, waiting for me, so I try not to take too long. I want to look good, without putting too much time into it. I pull on a dress. It is loose, which I like about it. It's a ruby red, and it ends about two or three inches above my knee. It is really simple, but with the bra I just put on, it looks really nice. I grab a necklace, and my mom's new lipstick. I've never worn lipstick out in public before, but I figured that it would look more like a chick, since I'm not wearing any other make-up. I grab my peacoat and a pair of slip on shoes, and I'm down the stairs and out the door with Pat.
I pull on my necklace, which is much more girlie than my ring, and I put on the lipstick. I smack my lips a few times before Pat pulls out of the driveway.
"You sure know how to step up your game. You were barely up there for ten minutes."
I laugh, "You really want to go to fuck your life up."
"I want to fuck your life up a bit," He laughs harder. "Would this be your first time getting high?"
I nod, nervous as fuck. "You aren't really fucking my life up, though. I did a good enough job."
I half expected him to nod and agree, but he stays silent. We're at Bryant's house in no time, and the warmth of his disgusting apartment is actually appealing. I climb into a spot on his couch, like last time, and he joins me. As they pass the joint around, this time I take it and bring it to my red lips. I inhale and pull it away. I cough, as I accidentally swallow the intoxicants. Bryant laughs, and "makes a move" by reaching his arm around me and pulling me closer. I guess it is his own way of reassuring me that I'll live. I would have much rather preferred a smack on the back.
I try again, but this time I'm getting the hang of it, and I blow the smoke out of my mouth. Bryant smirks and leans into me, and he slowly takes the joint from my hand. I see him bring it to his lips, even with my lipstick stains.
The more the joint gets passed around, the higher I'm getting, and it is such a great feeling. There are no worries, and I find myself laughing at everything. Macy and Pat are curled into each other, just talking, and every now and then, Pat will stare off into space. I don't know why, but I find everything so funny, and I lean closer to Bryant.