Disguises

Pat, Macy, and I are all gathered in the center of a circle of people. It isn't anything new, but I'm sure the three of us would much rather have our space. The girls and guys in the circle around us are infatuated with us. They're trying to talk to us and be cool.

I adjust my bra. I had decided earlier today that I would start wearing bras again. I like the way they make me look fuller. It made my hips jut out just enough to give the impression of curves.

"Matvey," A girl asks, biting her lip, "I want to go shopping with you. You have cute clothes."

I roll my eyes, "Your clothing isn't much different."

My voice isn't as high as it normally is because I'm sick of trying. I may look the part, but my voice is naturally girly. It isn't high, but it isn't low either. It is sort of in the middle, which is perfect for a transvestite, like myself.

She doesn't seem phased by my voice though, as she looks down at her outfit. She blushes, and she rambles on about something that I don't care about.

"Vee?" She asks again- this time gaining my attention- and blushes darker.

"What is it?"

She gnaws on her lip, "Would you ever consider dating a girl?"

"No."

Cue the look of disappointment. "Oh, okay."

"Look," I sigh, "I just like cock too much to fucking think about anything else."

By this time, Tyler has joined the circle, and he's laughing. "You can say that again, Sexy."

"Tyler, I swear if you call me that again, I will cut you."

He laughs, "Go ahead and take your sexual frustration out on me by saying threatening things. I don't mind. It's kind of a turn on, actually."

"Oh, fuck off."

"Only if you come with me."

"Not again."

-

I realize that I am an official Facebook creep. I have been on Greyson's wall almost five times now, and it has only been about three minutes. I just cannot help it. He has such a nice profile picture, and I like looking at it.

I think I have come to accept the fact that I like him, as long as I leave it like that: A crush. He is attractive, but he's my friend, and I cannot cost him the football team because I'm a selfish fag. He doesn't like me, so I shouldn't bother myself about liking him. I'll push it to the side, and I'll make sure I'm the one thing that I enjoy being right now: His friend.

I should start getting ready to leave. I don't want to be late to his house on movie night.

I coat my eyes with black liner, and I put on extra mascara than I usually do. Hell, I haven't put this much make-up on in weeks. I have on foundation and blush. I'm trying to look pretty.

I want to feel like if I were a girl, Grey would want me. I think about it like he'd actually want me.

What is with me? I have sex with Tyler once, and I already crave it with Grey.

Maybe I should have told Greyson that I didn't want to have a movie night with him tonight, and we'll just have this one Friday off. There is no way I could say no to Greyson.

I walk a few blocks, tightly holding my jacket to my body, towards his house, and when I arrive, I forget about how cold I am because I don't want to complain. He is worth it. He's worth every step I take, and every breath I breathe in. I never felt like this for Tyler.

"Hey, Vee," He says, opening the door for me.

I smile, "Hey."

"I put pizza in the oven, so I hope you're hungry."

Oh, trust me, Grey, I'm hungry for you.