Disguises

I lay in my bed with simply a tank and a pair of gray sweat pants. I am swinging my legs off the side of my bed, and I am texting Tyler. I never really thought he would ask me out. Sure, I know he likes me. I have known for some time now, but dating never really came up before.

Last night though, it felt right. I like the way I feel when I'm around himeven though it doesn't feel half as good as I feel, when I'm around Greyson.

When he pulled me close, pressing our bodies together, I was shocked. He pressed his lips to mine, explaining after the short kiss that he wanted to do it for a while, and he asked if I would be his. Of course, I said yes.

Tyler doesn't care what others think. He refuses to take shit from people, and that's something that I like about him. He isn't afraid to show who he cares abouteven if they are some transvestite, but instead, simply leads his own life.

How about we go swimming tomorrow?

I sigh. I really don't like swimming. It always puts me in a huge debate on what to wear. If I wear a girl's suit, then my dick stands out (which I'm not worried about, but it might lead to other things), and if I wear a boy's suit, then I feel awkward. If only there were ways around the dilemma. Maybe making something that fits both categories?

I text back saying yes because I don't want to be an ass and refuse the opportunity. I like spending time with Tyleralmost as much as I like spending time with Grey.

Great. Well, I think I'm going to get some rest. Night, Matty.

A small smile comes to my face.

-

School is a little off. I hold hands with Tyler every chance I'm able. We're both aware of all the stares. Hell, I think we're both use to them by now. Although, I can feel that something is missing. I search around, trying to figure it out.

Where is Greyson?

I saw him this morning, but we still haven't even made eye contact. Did I do something to upset him? Fuck, I would hate myself if I had. I can't even think of what it would be, if I had. I didn't say anything to offend him.

I can't deal with this right now. It's too stressful, and Tyler keeps giving me those looks that are asking what's wrong. I simply shrug, and I tell him nothing is wrong, and that I'm fine. He squeezes my hand.

Pat and Macy are by my side as soon as Tyler heads off to class, and they're linking their arms with mine. They're tugging me towards the front doors, telling me reasons to ditch. Pat grins as soon as I agree. They let my arms go, and we slip through the front doors.

"We've decided to find Macy's cousin, Bryant." Pat says to me, as the three of us climb into his car.

I nod, "And you want me to come, why?"

Macy chirps, "Bry might be willing to let us in. You sexy piece of ass, you."

"I'm taken," I roll my eyes.
"We know."

"But that doesn't mean that you can't flirt around a little." Macy sighs, "It's not like you're going to fuck him."

I sigh, "I guess."

Pat and Macy engage in some conversation about whatever drugs that strike their interest. Sometimes I wish that I had friends with morals, but then I realize that if I did, they would probably hate me. People with morals actually strive to succeed. They’re not overly busy with looks, like I am. Not to mention that not a lot of people are too excited about knowing homosexuals.

I wouldn’t really say that I’m homosexual because I have kissed girls before. We were drunk, so it wasn’t that bad. I’m just not attracted to people who whine as much as my sister and I.

“Are you going to join us, Vee?” Pat asks.

It is then when I notice that the car is parked, and Macy is already jogging into the rutty building. I nod slowly, and I climb out. I don’t have to bother with a seatbelt because I never put one on, since I was so consumed in my thoughts.

“I’m not joining in whatever fucked up shit you’re getting yourself into, Pat.”

“Be a party-shitter.”

“If I shit parties, I’d be too exhausted.” I laugh.

He rolls his eyes, and he pushes me. “Ass.”

I gasp, and as I regain my composure, I pull my shirt down, smoothing the creases, and wipe my skirt. He laughs at the sight, telling me that I didn’t even need to bother fixing how I look. “You didn’t fall, Matvey. What do you need to worry about?”

“It’s the thought of falling,” I confess, “It makes me feel dirty.”

The apartment smells. The paint is peeling, and in some areas the paint is gone. There is barely anywhere to move. The space is occupied by trash. I’m sure there are mice because it is so dirty, but of course I won’t say anything about it.

Bryant meets us in the doorway. He is telling Macy to leave, but he stops when he spots me. He pushes her aside and moves to me. I can tell he’s on drugs just by the redness of his eyes.

“What’s your name?” He’s attempting to purr.

If he’s trying to sound sexual, he’s failing.

“Vee,” I giggle, playing the game that my friends expect me to. “I hear that you,” I pause to walk my index and middle finger up his chest, “Have something my friends want.”

He nods, and I doubt he was listening to what I said.

I bite at my lip, and I ask to enter his apartment. Immediately he moves aside, and the three of us climb in. I feel gross walking in heels over trash. I can’t find anywhere clean to sit, and I almost glare at Macy. I can’t though. She’s digging around, searching for something of her interest.

Pat already has a blunt. It’s lit, and he’s inhaling the toxins. He blows out slowly, as if enjoying the feel of the smoke passing his lips. He pats the seat next to him that he cleared on the couch. “Vee, you can sit by me.”

If I stayed in school, I could have asked Tyler what kind of swimsuit to wear tonight.