Rescue Me

Looking at Tom's worried face, I picked the half eaten slice of pizza from his hand and placed it back down in its box, resting on the table. I sat back down next to him as our eyes met. I couldn't help but have my eyes teared up already. I slowly lowered my head and shook it lightly.

“I never meant to hurt you like this, Tom,” I said, quietly. “I'm sorry.”

“Kay – ” Tom started and reached out to touch my hand.

“Please – don't!” I whispered, taking my hand back.

After seeing the confused and hurt look on my best friend's face, I quickly got up from the sofa and walked over to the bed, laying myself under the comforter with my head on the pillow as I started to sob quietly.

I heard the television turn off and some footsteps walking towards the bed. I closed my eyes tighter when I felt the bed dip down next to me, while I tried to stop myself from crying like a baby. “Kay,” Tom whispered, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I clenched my fists around the comforter and let out a breath, which came out as a sob. I felt the comforter lift and Tom's body slip under it, his hand still on my shoulder. I tried to tell my best friend to go away and leave me alone, but I couldn't. I couldn't push him away Not after everything he's done for me.

I felt him get closer to me and rest his head on the pillow, close to the back of my head. “Please don't push my away,” he said, quietly.

“I'm not,” I whispered but didn't move one bit from my spot.

“I'm really sorry, you have no idea,” I could feel his breath on my neck, which kind of soothed me. “I should have paid more attention to you and put everything else to the side. But I didn't and you ended up getting hurt. A lot,” he paused for a moment but continued after taking a deep breath. “Kay, if only I knew... I would've never let him get close to you. Fuck, I would've probably threatened him to stay away from you if I knew he was going to do this to you.”

As I felt him nuzzle my neck with his face, I wiped my left eye and turned around, wrapping my right arm around Tom's body. Without looking at him, I placed my head against his chest and stayed close to him. “It's all my fault. I should have left him before he even got the chance to put a h-hand on me,” I whispered, sniffing lightly. “We both should have done things that we didn't do, Tom,” I lifted my head and looked at him right in the eyes. “But things didn't work out that way. It's in the past now and we need to just... deal with what is ahead of us.”

After looking in Tom's eyes for another minute, I sighed and placed my head back against his chest, laying on my left side. Even thought I wasn't looking at him anymore, I could still see the confusion, hurt and worry in his eyes from earlier.

“What's going to happen now?” he asked, placing his arm over mine.

“What?” I asked quietly, still staying in my position.

I felt him inhale and exhale slowly. “I – … Never mind,” he said after a moment. “Are you tired yet? Maybe we can go to sleep now or maybe watch another movie if you'd like.”

I unwrapped my arm from him and rolled off of bed, knowing that if I asked him more about what he had previously said he would get annoyed, seeing that he didn't want to talk about it. “What time is it?”

“It's – almost three in the morning,” Tom said, sitting up in bed.

“Let's go to bed then,” I said, walking towards my suitcase. “You have a show in Padova.”

“What?” Tom said, laughing quietly. “I'm pretty sure David canceled the show.”

“Well is it okay if we still go to bed? I'm really tired,” I whispered, grabbing some pajamas.

“Of course,” Tom nodded. “You can go change in the bathroom while I change here,” he added, getting up from the bed.

I nodded and went in the bathroom. I changed from my clothes to my pajamas which were much comfier and removed my makeup that had pretty much smudged all under my eyes and on the side. When I was done with removing my makeup, I peed, washed my hands and brushed my teeth before making my way out of the bathroom.

Tom was sitting on the bed, his back to me and had his hand next to his hear, holding his cellphone. Deciding not to bother him while he made his call, I grabbed my dirty clothes and placed it in a plastic bag for one of the assistant to come and pick it up in the morning.

I slowly went back to my earlier spot on the bed and sat down, the covers over my lap. “Okay. Yeah, love you too,” hanging up from the phone, Tom turned around and smile, a little embarrassed. “Sorry, that was Bill.”

“That's okay,” I smiled back as I watched him plug his phone in its charger.

“Well, I guess I'll tell you goodnight,” he said and started to awkwardly walk away.

“What are you doing?” I asked, wonderingly.

“I – I'll sleep on the couch,” he said, scratching the back of his neck, trying not to make eye contact with me.

“Stop being silly,” I said, shaking my head and petted the spot next to me on the bed. “Sleep here.”

Tom looked up from the floor, biting his lip as his hand still rested on the back of his neck. “Okay, yeah,” he whispered and came to lay on the bed. He closed the light as I dipped down in bed, laying on my back completely. I turned my head to the left and saw that my best friend was laying closely to the side of the bed, far away from me.

“Is everything okay?” I asked him.

“Yep,” he replied, his back still turned to me. “Everything's just fine.”

I nodded to myself and turned on my right side, bringing the comforter up to my shoulders. As I tried to fall asleep, which seemed quite hard, I thought about Tom behavior. He was acting so weird ever since I came back from the bathroom, as if I told him something that he didn't like.

Frowning lightly, I couldn't help but wonder if it was because of the way I acted earlier and that I had completely ignored the fact he had said he liked me.

Sighing, I couldn't help but feel like a disappointment to my best friend.

Had he expected me to act differently and jump right in his arms, telling him that I loved him too?