In Your Mind

----Kyle's P.O.V----

I felt sick. I've only felt this feeling twice. On the roller coaster... How it goes up and makes an unexpected turn and sends you jumping up and spewing chunks.

If I hurled right now.. My Dad would probably laugh and call me a pussy for throwing up. This is kinda my fault too...

When I was high school he always pushed me to go out on dates with girls.. He offered me to use his car with that smirk, like he wanted me to fuck them...

But no, I took advantage up it..

I took daddies money like it was candy. I borrowed his car until the early morning when I came rolling in..

Look at me now.

I'm standing in a deathly still house while my boyfriend is watching me with worried eyes. My mom is behind the counter with her hand to her mouth as quiet sobs escape ever so often.

She isn't crying because I'm gay.

Or bi, whichever floats your boat.

No, she's crying because she doesn't want me and my dad to argue. I can't actually see that happening..

Which is the sad thing. Most guys my age are used to arguing with there dads. Which brings me back to why I should have seen this coming.

He was always too nice about that kinda of stuff..

It's probably not too good that I'm his only son. I mean.. he was real eager for me to have kids and carry on the Burns family name..

Now that can't happen.

Or so Jinx tells me...

But, it isn't like he's an only kid! He had four brothers and two sisters.

I mean, geesh. Don't worry, the names gonna carry on, were not gonna die out. Don't bust a Aneurysm.

But no, It's my dad.

Not any one elses.

He cleared his throat and adjusted his shirt before shaking his head sadly.

Oh boy, here it goes.

"Kyle," He spoke, "You bring shame to the Burns family name,"

I laughed.

He narrowed his eyes and glared at me like he does those kids who spray graffiti on old abandoned buildings.

I have multiple reasons why I laughed.

One, it rhymed.

Two, I simply don't give a flying fuck.

Three, I've never seen him actually mad at me.

"You think some thing's funny?" He growled, shaking my shoulder.

"And if I do?" I tested him.

I'm just causing his future high blood pressure specialist alot of trouble.. I feel sorry for the doctor who has my dad for a patient.

"Don't go playing games with me!" He spat, "I don't care how we fix this.. er, gay thing in you, I don't care if I have to beat it out of you. No son of mine isn't going to like dick."

"Well then," I sighed, and smiled at him as if I was agreeing.

This is going to be great.

He starred down at me intently. His lip twitching, ready to crack into a small smile. He's sure eating this up..

"I guess I'm not your son," I spoke softly.

Gasps erupted from behind me as soon as the words spilled from my mouth. It seemed harsh, but if they were under the pressure and felt everything I did, they would be in the middle of train tracks..

His face flushed and he brought his hand back and quickly slapped me across the face. My head snapped backwards and I met Jinx's petrified gaze.

I felt fine as I met Jinx's caring gaze. My cheek was numb as my lips twitched into a small faint smile.

Jinx shot up out of reaction and stumbled towards me. I shook my head at him frantically. That's all my dad needs, is to see him.. He'd burst an anuerysm and die then haunt us all.

But no, Jinx didn't stop. That stubborn boy. He never listens to me, obviously he's the girl in the relationship. Why isn't he listening? I shouldn't be thinking about that right now. It's not the time or the place too.

Back to now. The present time. In my house. With my dad and gay boyfriend.

Jinx walked towards me, ignoring my moms choked sobs. Ignoring Caleb's pleading. Ignoring my constant head shaking and frantic eyes.

He walked straight up to me, ignoring everything going on around him. All I could do was wrap my arms around his much smaller frame. I swallowed as he reached a shaky hand up to my left cheek and gently brushed his fingertips across it.

"It's going to bruise," He murmured.

I wanted to laugh again. My dad is glaring at us right now as twenty or more people stared us down in the middle of the room and all he can say is, "It's going to bruise,"

Gotta love Jinx.

"This him?" My dad spat. "Is this the faggot that turned my son gay?"

"Bisexual actually," I corrected, smirking.

My Dad walked closer and looked down at Jinx. His glare was quiet evident as he rose a hand and pointed straight at him.

"Your not worth-" I cut him off.

I shoved Jinx behind me and walked up to my dad. I realized I wasn't scared. I wasn't on my knees crying, begging for his forgiveness.

No.

I finally understood I didn't need my dads permission to date guys. I needed to man up for myself and do what I wanted.

Do you know what I wanted?

I want freedom.

"You have no room to talk," I hissed. "Look at me, look at what you did to me!"

"I didn't do anything to you! I helped you, shaped you into a nice young man," He yelled. "I did what was best for you,"

"Oh, like forcing me into sports? Forcing me out of the house? Pushing me to get good grades to live up to the crazed imagination you have of me?" I exclaimed. "You pushed and shoved and made my life miserable, I didn't have freedom. I didn't have the choice of what I wanted to do!"

"This isn't the damn civil war," He growled. "You had freedom. You didn't act so sad as I loaned the car out for you on dates,"

"I didn't," I agreed. "But It wasn't normal. I had no real outside life. You made every choice for me no matter what."

"Well Kyle, Now you get your freedom, you get to make your own decision," He snarled. "Make your choice, Be a fucking pussy or get welcomed back into your family with open arms,"

"Correction," I smirked. "Mom doesn't care, Kayleen doesn't care, No one cares but you,"

He grabbed a fist full of my shirt and yanked me closer. He leaned in towards my ear, "That's it. You don't exist to me," He snarled.

He shoved by me and stormed out the door, leaving me baffled.

That went well.

"Love you too!" I yelled after him.

"Stop it," Jinx scolded, elbowing me.

"Sorry, mom," I teased.

"Your an idiot," Kayleen rolled her eyes.

"I'm surprised your dad didn't kill you or something.." Caleb mumbled.

"Or something?"

"Or something," We agreed.

----

"Byeeeee!" I yelled, pulling on Jinx's wrist.

"You didn't say bye to your grandma!" Jinx exclaimed.

"Jinx!" I whined.

"Horndog," He mumbled, following after me.

I smiled cheeky at him and crashed my lips to his as soon as we stepped into my room. We stumbled backwards onto my bed and he crawled up next to me.

"Can we just lay here?"

I shrugged, "Sure,"

He smiled and curled into my chest. "Today went well,"

"Alot better than I expected," I mused.

"Your dad hit you thought.." He mumbled.

"Exactly," I emphasized, "Alot better than I expected,"

He shook his head and sighed. "I've never got hit by my parents.. not really,"

"Only by my dad," I murmured. "My mom is the one who grounded us and stuff.."

"Oh," He said thoughtfully.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" I whispered, nudging him.

"About tomorrow," He yawned, "What are we gonna go?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure, the guys might have something planned... If they don't we'll just go explore the city or something,"

"I'd like that,"

I laughed lightly before ruffling his hair, "You would,"

As that was said our words died down and silence seemed to settle over us. It stayed like that for the rest of the night as we dozed off to sleep.

Today has been a roller coaster.

I hate roller coasters.