Never Again

“Wow, that’s incredible,” Alicia’s eyes were shining as I paused in my telling of the story to tell Bandit to stop climbing on the fruit trees.

“I guess it was,” I tilted my head, “At the time it just felt like bad luck though – I mean, apart from the concert and Mikey being nice enough, that night was just one problem after another.”

“I guess…” Alicia was thoughtful for a moment, then grinned expectantly. “But then, you haven’t told me about what happened later that night yet, so I can’t tell…”

Xxx xxx xxX

Once decided on a course of action, we had grabbed what was left of our gear and started walking back to the My Chem bus. I was relieved that we actually had a way to get home, but at the same time, I was nervous.

I was especially worried that Gerard wouldn’t be happy to see me, and to be reminded of what had happened – or worse, that he hadn’t got over his issues in the first place. That was why I hung back as Mikey entered the bus first, and I heard him explaining what had happened to whoever was in the main room by the door.

There was no commotion, and Steph and I climbed in moments later to find it was only the drummer; Bob Bryar, who greeted us with a slightly shy smile then returned his attention to a videogame.

Mikey motioned for us to sit down on the other couch, before asking an address to drop us off at, and going to let the bus driver know of the change in plans.

“Mikey Way is quite a gentleman, isn’t he?” Steph whispered to me with a smirk.

“Yeah,” I shrugged halfheartedly, seeing Frank, walking in from the bedroom section of the bus, stop and stare at me in recognition.

“You’re awfully quiet,” she noted, but quickly moved on. “Anyway, I’m going to go talk to Mikey…” She sauntered off without another word, leaving me somewhat relieved that her incessant chatter had been quieted – though I felt sorry for Mikey, for having to deal with Stephanie’s innuendos.

“Hi,” a quiet voice broke into my drifting thoughts, and I looked up to see Frank standing before me, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Hi, Frank,” I managed a smile, and waved a hand at the empty seat beside me.

“You’re the girl that rescued Gee a few months ago, right?” The words were direct, but his tone was friendly.

“Yuhuh,” I answered awkwardly, not sure how to continue the conversation.

“Well… I just wanted to say thanks. Considering none of us could find him, you probably saved his life.”

My eyes widened at the thought, my unspoken protests sounding flimsy in my head.

“I’m serious,” Frank went on, “thank you.”

“It’s fine,” I finally managed to get out, feeling tired from a long night as well as the sudden recollections of another long, trying night in similar company.

He let out a deep sigh a minute later, running his tattooed fingers through his fringe in a gesture I would come to know as a long-time habit, before finally speaking.

“Something I noticed since that night, from what he told us, anyway – you’ve been the only person he felt he could open up to…”

“Okay…” I was trying to work out the significance of this when he went on.

“I was wondering… he’s been so quiet since that night, and he won’t talk to anyone – not even a therapist. I was hoping, long shot as it is, that you might agree to meet up with him sometime and try and get him to talk about his problems…” Frank trailed off with a pleading tone, obvious worry and a hint of desperation in his voice as he talked about his best friend falling apart.

“That’s… a lot to ask,” I noted carefully, trying to work out if this was worth seriously considering or not.

“I know it is,” Frank nodded, “but he really needs help. Even though he hasn’t gotten drunk since that night, he’s just not himself anymore, and we’ve tried everything we can. He needs your help.”

With that desperate plea chasing circles in my tired head, I could hardly think straight, let alone think about something as seemingly important as this.

“Look,” I sighed eventually, grabbing a piece of paper off a nearby table and scribbling my telephone number. “Here’s my number, and Mikey might remember my address anyway. Call me tomorrow and I might have worked out what to do.”

“Thank you, so much, Amber.” Frank beamed, a grin that faded with thoughts of why he was doing it in the first place.

The rest of the ride was relatively uneventful; Gerard was out somewhere for the night, Bob and Ray were still busy, and Frank was quiet after our talk – so it was up to Mikey to make conversation, while all the while Steph was fluttering her fake rainbow eyelashes at him (something that was definitely starting to get on my nerves).

With all this happening – or not happening, as it may be – the bus pulled up outside my apartment within what seemed like a very short time.

We waved a quick goodbye to the guys we hardly knew, and that was it; the bus pulled away from the quiet street without hesitation, and all that was left to do was find our way to a bed or couch and sleep yet another crazy night off.

Xxx xxx xxX

“Hmm…” Alicia began as soon as I’d finished that part of my story. “Y’know something weird?”

I tilted my head in reply, waiting for her to go on.

“They were all so different… I mean, like, Ray’s still the serious one, and Mikey’ still a gentleman – in his own dorky way – but none of them were very nice to you to begin with.”

She wrinkled her nose at the thought, comparing the guys now – carefree and fun loving – with the somewhat troubled men they were only years ago.

“Yeah…” I agreed, “but at the same time, they were pretty stressed and tired when I met them both times, so maybe it was just bad timing.”

Alicia just shrugged in response, digesting the fantastic tale that my life had become.

“Oh, speaking of timing,” she exclaimed after a minute, having just checked her phone. “I just got a text from Mikey….” She paused for a second, reading the message. “He says that they’ve finally decided that he and Ray and Bob can all go home… so they need one of us to go pick them up.”

“Oh, that’s awesome,” I said, relieved that they could finally come home – even though it wouldn’t be the same until Gerard woke up.

“I know, right?” Alicia had visibly relaxed, a part of the tension we had both been carrying ever since the accident evaporating.

“Did you want to go get them, while I watch Bandit?” she went on. “I won’t be able to fit all the guys and their stuff in my car.”

“Yeah, sure. I’d better leave now then, I’m betting the guys will be so glad to be released they won’t want to hang around the hospital any longer than they have to.”

By the time I had driven to the hospital and picked everyone up – everyone, that is, except Gee – it was early evening, and the streets were quiet as the car travelled towards my house.

We had decided that, from now on, Frank and I’s house was going to be the unofficial base for the band members and all the adopted family and friends that came with it – a place where everyone could feel safe and comfortable, while the mess that the last week or so had become was sorted out.

Which, for all I knew, could take months.

These grim thoughts were compounded for everyone in the car as we passed the intersection where the accident had happened, now just a black scar on the pavement and a muddy rut on the scorched grass.

“…it’s like it all isn’t real,” Mikey suddenly spoke up from the passenger seat, beside me.
“It was all so normal, Gee was talking with us and everyone was happy, and now… it’s all wrong.” He shook his head, his normally impassive expression pale and pinched looking, though he didn’t show any sign of tears, as you might expect.

“I know, Mikey,” Ray said sullenly, sighing, “I’m having trouble believing it too, but right now it doesn’t matter what we can or can’t accept – Gee, and you, too, need our help.”

“Mmm,” Bob nodded morosely, then was silent.

“Well,” I started a few minutes later, as we neared my neighbourhood. “I have no idea what we’re going to do now, but I do know that there’s a little girl waiting for you guys to come home, and she’s going to be wondering where her daddy is. What are we going to tell her?”

There was a long silence, where nobody knew what to say, and I had pulled into my driveway before Mikey finally spoke up.

“I think we should tell her the truth,” he said finally. “Or at least the idea of it. Soon enough she’s going to find out that Gee is…” Here Mikey choked, unable to come up with a term that didn’t have such a fatalistic ring to it. “…that he’s hurt pretty badly, so we may as well tell her that he’s in hospital, we just won’t tell her why.”

“I think that would work…” I nodded, “who’s going to tell her though?”

Everyone looked at Mikey.

“Yeah, it’ll have to be me,” he finished, before anyone said anything. “She might not believe anyone else.”

With that, everyone started to get out of the car, Ray and Bob going to the trunk to get Mikey’s crutches and the belongings they had had at the hospital.

I smiled at Mikey, having no words that could explain that I knew it must be even harder for him, and how grateful we were that he had been able to pull himself together enough to help us with Bandit.

“I think it will all be okay, eventually.” he said quietly, answering an unasked question hanging in the air. “But with Gee…” he went on, “…I don’t think it’ll be soon.” Mikey gave me a final sad look, then climbed out of the car onto his crutches with a forced smile.