Never Again

Alicia and Frank were waiting near the front door with Bandit when we arrived back at my house from the hospital, so there was no more time to talk quietly with the guys; as soon as everyone had gotten inside, Bandit asked the question we had all been dreading.

She looked around from where she was sitting in the living room between Alicia and Mikey, at Frank, Ray, Bob and I, and was silent for a moment.

“Where’s daddy?” she asked then, her dark eyes showing clearly that she knew something was wrong – and that we hadn’t told her everything.

Frank looked at me worriedly – he didn’t know exactly what we had decided to tell her – but no one said anything, until all eyes fell on Mikey, who took a weary breath in, then bent down so he could talk to his niece.

“Hey, Bandit, I gotta tell you something,” he started, trying not to sound too worried and frighten her. “You know how your daddy had an accident? Well, he’s still at the doctor’s getting fixed up.”

The room suddenly seemed quieter than the silence that had held reign before - then Bandit tilted her head to one side, and spoke

“So, he’s gonna get better at the doctors, like when Uncle Bob got hurt, and he went there and came back with his arm fixed?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Mikey smiled a little, glad that she was taking the news so well, and everyone in the room relaxed. “He’s just going to have to stay there until he gets better,” he continued, “so he’s not going to be at home for a while. You’re going to be staying with Frank and Amber for a bit longer, until he can come home, alright?”

“Okay!” Bandit’s face lit up, forgetting her worry about her father with the assurance that he was getting better, and turning to me. “Can I go play now?” she asked, bored with the adult company.

I nodded, so she ran off to the spare room where the toys were kept, and everyone looked blankly at each other again as the silence returned.

“So…” Frank began, talking to nobody in particular, “what did the doctors say this time?”

“Well,” Ray shrugged, talking quietly so that the conversation didn’t carry into the other room where Bandit was playing. “They’ve cleared Bob and me of any injuries, and Mikey just has to keep off his leg for six weeks… they won’t tell us a lot about Gerard, though.” Ray shook his head, looking down at his hands. “Last thing we were told is that they didn’t need to operate on him – and they say he’s improving, but they won’t let us see him, or even tell us when they think he’ll wake up.”

Ray finished with a frustrated sigh; looking around the room, it seemed most of us were feeling the same frustration and weariness that the helpless waiting had created.

“So there’s still nothing we can do but look after Bandit and wait?” Alicia asked anxiously, voicing the words that the rest of us had been afraid to speak.

Mikey nodded morosely, shifting around so that the cast on his leg was more comfortable.

“I think we should take turns waiting at the hospital, though, for when they let us see him, or when he wakes up,” he said, looking around at each of us in turn.

“Yeah,” Bob said, and the rest of us nodded. “It can’t be too much longer until they at least let us see him, even if he doesn’t wake up just yet.”

“You can’t do it, though, Mikey,” Alicia spoke up, a concerned frown on her face. “Not while you’re recovering still – the best thing you can do for Gerard is get better yourself, you know.”

“I know,” Mikey sighed, but agreed. “And someone has to stay here with Bandit all the time – probably Amber, since Bandit is used to her the most.”

“I’ll help out with Bandit, too – that way you’re not always stuck here, Amber,” Alicia added.

“So that leaves me, Ray and Bob to take it in turns keeping track of things at the hospital – and cancelling the tour stuff with the manager. We can do that.” Frank said, looking determined and relieved to have something to do.

Bob and Ray nodded, then Bob stood up from his chair.

“I’ll go back to my place and get cleaned up, then head straight back to the hospital now, then,” he said, grabbing the bag of his stuff from the hospital.

“Okay,” Ray stood up as well, “Me and Frank had better start getting onto the managers and people in charge of the tour. It’s gonna take a lot to organise everything, especially as soon as things go public.”

“We’ll deal with it, though – for Gee, and Bandit.” Frank stated decisively, going to get his coat and follow Ray.

“As soon as there’s any news,” Bob called back as he left, “we’ll ring Amber, that way everyone will be told right away.”

“Okay,” I nodded, and went into the hallway and hugged Frank before he left. “Don’t push yourselves too far, though,” I told them, “if you need to rest or something, just stop, alright?”

Everyone nodded gravely, and then left; leaving the house feeling empty and cold.

I checked that Bandit was still playing happily in the other room, before returning to the living room with Mikey and Alicia.

“Do you guys want a drink or something?” I asked when I got to the doorway, “I’m going to heat up some leftovers for Bandit anyway.”

“No, thanks,” Mikey shook his head, but Alicia got up.

“I’ll just make some coffee,” she said, following me into the kitchen and starting to get a mug out. “Do you want one as well?”

“Yeah, please,” I nodded, busy getting last night’s tray of lasagne out of the fridge. “You sure you don’t want me to heat some of this up for you as well?”

“I’m fine,” Alicia said, pouring out two steaming cups of coffee. “I’m too stressed to eat, even though I know I probably need to.”

“I know how you feel…” I paused, calling Bandit in from the playroom, then turned back to Alicia as she was carrying the cups out to the living room. “I’ll be back out in a minute, I’ll just make sure Bandit knows there’s food here.”

“Okay,” Alicia smiled and walked out, just as Bandit came running into the kitchen.

“Here, Bandit,” I couldn’t help but smile at the indestructible cheerfulness she always had. “There’s some lasagne there if you’re hungry – and once you’ve eaten you can go back to playing, okay?”

She nodded solemnly and sat down at the table; satisfied, I went back out in search of my coffee – after today, I needed the energy.

Mikey and Alicia were still in the living room, talking about the last few days in a feigned nonchalant way – eager to pretend, at least for a little while, that things were normal.

“…and then Amber’s basically been telling me how you guys met, which so far is a long story,”

I caught the end of Alicia’s statement and laughed a little as I came in the room, and grabbed my cup off the coffee table.

“It’s not that long,” I stated, before Mikey could comment, “and besides – I haven’t even got that far into it,”

Alicia rolled her eyes, obviously standing by her conviction that it was a long story, and Mikey smiled, weary though he was.

“Why, when are you up to?” he asked curiously, shifting once again on the seat in an attempt to find a comfortable position for the stiff plaster cast.

“Um, the day after that night Steph and I met you after a concert – remember when our car got smashed and robbed?”

“Oh yeah,” Mikey nodded, looking over at Alicia with wide eyes and adding; “and if she’s told you how her friend was hyper-scary, believe everything.”

Alicia giggled and rolled her eyes, and a calm mood settled over everything for the first time all day.

“Well,” she said, “you may as well tell us the rest of the story, since we’ve got nothing else to do for the time being.”

Mikey nodded as well, so I shrugged and thought hard, remembering what had happened the next day…