This Bitch Just Blew Me Away

For three days Lizzy couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss in Austin’s kitchen. She didn’t know what it meant. She was confused about her own feelings, and about whether she trusted his. She had a hard time not telling herself he was in the middle of a divorce and that he was probably still on the rebound. She didn’t want that for herself. She had considered him her best friend before moving into his house, but now there were all of these feelings starting up in her chest that she didn’t understand. But even in all of her confusion she made no effort to avoid him. After they’d pulled apart that morning there hadn’t been any tension, and when he’d tried to apologize she’d put her finger over his lips.

So now they still spoke to each other pleasantly and were managing to live together in harmony. But slowly a tension had built up in the house as they both considered their feelings for each other. She wanted it to mean something but she was always worried it didn’t. She had to protect herself and her baby from being hurt and she couldn’t help but worry that he would only hurt her.

Austin spent a lot of time thinking about everything as well. After kissing her he’d realized what that unexplained feeling was but he wasn’t sure how to explain it to her. He’d fallen in love with all of her stubborn hardheaded independence and her inability to ever accept anything without a fight even though she needed help desperately. He’d fallen in love with the way she got so angry it was like she’d breathe fire over his ignoring her protests. Mostly though it was her strength and her heart that he’d fallen in love with. Her never ending determination to take care of herself and her baby. She was a genuinely good woman with a fire inside her that he couldn’t seem to ignore. Nothing could hold her down, and he loved that about her. In the three months he’d known her he’d fallen in love with her.

But he wasn’t sure how to show her that without her thinking he was taking advantage of her. He wanted to make sure she knew that his feelings towards her were real and not some lie to get her into his bed, because though he was attracted to her, and did want to sleep with her, sex was not the only thing he wanted to give her. He wanted to be able to work out a relationship with her so that they could make a family out of the two of them and her daughter.

He wasn’t really concerned with her pregnancy’s affect on their relationship. He was ready to that that challenge head on and be a father for a baby that wasn’t biologically his. Lizzy obviously had no desire for the baby’s biological father to be in place, so Austin was ready to take on that role. He was prepared to take on a family regardless of it being a big and sudden step.

Lizzy wanted to know what he was thinking. She always could see him thinking but she could never tell what and it worried her. So now she sat in the kitchen and sipped at a glass of milk as she thought of some way to bring up the kiss. She wanted to know if he regretted kissing her or if he regretted letting her live in his house. She didn’t want to be a complication in his life.

He walked into the kitchen and he smiled at her. “Enjoying your milk there, Liz?” he asked.

“It tastes like milk,” she shrugged.

“Well I’d hope so,” he said in that mocking tone that she hated so much. But as she watched him get a beer out of the refrigerator she couldn’t help but think about how much she enjoyed him. She enjoyed that he worked so hard to infuriate her so he could only laugh at her. He gave her more attention than any man ever had before. Her father had loved her in a way, but he’d never been a man of affection, and no boyfriend had ever given her much respect. But Austin was different in so many ways. He insisted on doing everything for her despite her constant protesting and he had a way of acting as if she’d never spoken in the first place. It was a quality she honestly hated but a persistence she’d grown to admire.

“Austin,” she said then and bit down on her tongue. She wasn’t sure confronting him would make her feel any better. He looked up at her and smiled, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling back at him. She admired the nearly perfect straightness of his slightly yellowed teeth and she remembered the way his lips felt against hers.

“Yes, Lizzy,” he said. His rasped voice brought her back from her thoughts and she blinked a few times before continuing.

“I have been thinking,” she said and adjusted herself on the high bar chair she was sitting in. He set his beer next to her glass of milk and stood with both hands rested on the counter top directly across from her.

“What about?” he asked and looked at her from under the hair that hung in his eyes. She laughed gently to herself before composing herself and clearing her throat.

“I think I should move out of here,” she said. Austin’s smile dropped instantly then and she looked down. He didn’t understand why she’d want to leave him now. He thought back to the kiss and for a minute he regretted moving on her so fast.

“You’re not serious, are you?” he asked with some worry. She took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh.

“I’m serious, I think it would be best if I left, Austin. My being here has complicated things,” she said. He cleared his throat and stood up straight then without emotion. Now he understood.

“I didn’t realize it had complicated anything,” he said. Lizzy frowned at him and sniffed. “But I apparently wasn’t paying attention, because I’ve obviously complicated your life, and for that I’m sorry.”

“It’s not like that, Austin,” she said and wiped her nose with her hand. Her baby was starting to kick her in the ribs and she groaned. “I’m the one that complicated your life. I came and moved myself in here, intruded on your life, I took advantage of your generosity…”

“Took advantage?! What on earth? Everything I did you were on my ass telling me no,” he cut her off.

“But I took all the gifts. I was wrong of me to do…”

“Is this about what happened the other day, Lizzy?” he asked, again cutting her off. She frowned with annoyance. “Look, Lizzy, I kissed you because I wanted to. You haven’t complicated anything or taken advantage of me or whatever it is that’s running through your head. If you don’t have mutual feelings for me, that’s fine, it won’t happen again. But I don’t regret doing it the first time and given the chance I’d kiss you again,” he said. She stared at him.

“Austin, what feelings could you possibly have for a stubborn, broke, unimportant woman that is six months pregnant with another man’s baby?” she asked very rationally. He thought about what she said for a few minutes before putting his hands back down on the counter top and taking a deep breath.

“I don’t have feelings for that woman,” he said after his consideration. Lizzy looked down as her heart seemed to fall into her chest. “I have feelings for a strong, independent, intelligent woman that just happens to be a little down on her luck right now. A woman that is too hard headed to realize her own worth, but is beautiful regardless of being six months pregnant with another man’s baby,” he said. She sniffed and looked down before he could see the tears in her eyes.

“But it won’t ever…I can’t expect you to take on another man’s baby…” she said.

“So far I have been there for everything in the last two months of your pregnancy, Lizzy. That baby doesn’t have to be my blood to be mine,” he said. She looked up at him then with wide eyes and she took in a breath.

“I can’t ask you to be this baby’s father, Austin. That would be taking advantage of so many…”

“Elizabeth, listen to me. I love you,” he said. Her jaw unhinged and she was speechless. She stared at him for a long time with her eyes as big and nervous as a deer caught in the headlights. It was the first time she’d been left with no way to protest.

“W…What?” she stammered. She’d been caught off guard. In her life time there had been few men that had said those words to her.

“I love you, Lizzy,” he said again. She slinked a few times while she let herself believe she wasn’t going to wake up from this dream.

“You can’t possibly mean that,” she said and tried to cover how affected she’d been by his confession.

“Lizzy, you make me crazy!” he exclaimed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Why can’t you just take something for what it’s worth? I’ve fallen in love with you, just accept that, please,” he said.

“Because…because you just can’t mean it, Austin. I’m nothing of yours,” she pouted.

“You know, its okay if you don’t feel the same, I’ll understand. But damn it don’t tell me how I can and cannot feel,” he snapped with frustration.

“I just think…you’re right in the middle of a divorce and I’m a woman…and I don’t want to go into something that…”

“This is about my divorce?” he said, cutting her off for a third time. She was starting to get very annoyed with that. “Look, honey, my divorce plays no role in this. This isn’t a rebound if that’s what you’re thinking. She and I have been separated for a long time. Don’t worry about my divorce being a deal breaker,” he said. She stared at him before looking down and running a hand over her belly. She felt her baby kick just to the side of her belly button. She sighed and looked back at him then.

“You have to understand why I’m scared, Austin. I’ve never really had a happy relationship in my life. My parents loved me but I was always on my own. My dad never helped me with anything. I’ve never had a boyfriend that wanted much more than sex. Even this baby was just a one night stand gone wrong,” she said without meeting his eyes. He reached across the counter top then and took a hold of her hand.

“I understand, baby, believe me I do. That was never the problem. I just got out of a shitty relationship, I’ve been in a lot of bad relationships. I’m not saying I’m ready to dive in and marry you, because I’m scared too, Lizzy. But I’m in love with you…everything about you. You drive me crazy, Liz,” he said.

“You know something?” she said as she laced her fingers with his. He looked up at her while he waited for her to continue. “You are the only person I’ve ever allowed to call me ‘Liz,’” she said with half a laugh. “My dad used to call me Eliza when he was alive, why I’ll never know. My mother calls me Elizabeth. But everybody else calls me Lizzy, except you. You always call me Liz.”

“Do you not like it?” he asked apologetically. She looked up and met his eyes.

“It’s not that. I used to hate it! I had a boyfriend once a long time ago that insisted on calling me ‘Liz’ and I’d get so infuriated I’d walk away from him. But for some reason, it never bothered me coming from you,” she said with some laughter. “He used to call me Elli all the time too, and I hated that more than I hated Liz. I only dated him for about a month.”

“I never really had that problem,” he laughed. “There isn’t a lot you can do with Austin. A lot of people call me Steener, but it doesn’t bother me,” he smiled. She laughed.

“Now I guess there isn’t a lot you can do with that is there?” she said. She took a deep breath and looked up at him again. “I suppose we can give this a go. But I’m worried it will ruin our friendship if something happens.”

“Don’t have negative thoughts this soon baby, you just agreed to give me a chance,” he said with a smile. She laughed and nodded.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t be negative so early on in the relationship.” It was then that the door bell rang four times in a row and Austin sighed before letting go of Lizzy’s hand and going to answer the front door. Lizzy listened as he opened the front door and suddenly she heard a woman talking a mile a minute as heels clicked on the tile in the foyer.

“I’m not going to fight with you over the money, Austin. Just give it up, it’s mine!” she heard the female voice shout. She slid off the bar stool and went to the entry way into the living room where she saw Austin and a short brunette woman standing.

“Damn it, Jami, I’m not giving you anything else! I already gave you the house and I already gave you enough money to keep you comfortable for a while. There really is no fucking reason for you be here starting shit,” Austin snapped.

“I find it really irritating that you have plenty of money to spend on cribs for a baby that isn’t yours but not for your wife,” she snapped.

“Ex-wife,” he snapped back.

“Just stop fighting with me Austin, and I’ll be your ex-wife sooner,” she said and rolled her eyes.

“I don’t really think you need anything else I have, one of the men you were blowing while I was out must have enough money to make you happy,” he said with irritation clearly lining his voice. Jami laughed.

“I’m so glad to know I was married to such a mature adult of a person,” she said and rolled her eyes again.

“About as glad as I am to know that I was married to a call girl,” he said. She looked at him with narrow eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

“At least those men had something to blow,” she said then with her lips turning into half a cocky grin.

“What’s the real point here, Jami?” he snapped. “You aren’t getting anything else. I paid you to fuck me long enough.”

“And I faked it long enough to get some compensation,” she said. Lizzy rolled her eyes at Jami’s insults.

“You always were a bad actress,” he said and Jami’s jaw unhinged a little bit. Lizzy took a deep breath and walked into the room then and picked up a magazine off the coffee table. She could feel Jami’s eyes on her and it annoyed her in a way. “Jami, just leave. There is no reason for you to be here, because I’m not giving you a god damn thing and you are only wasting your time. I’m sure there is someone else you can fuck out there that has a lot more than I do,” he said.

“Marrying you was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life,” she said and flipped her hair back over her shoulder with her hand. “I’m keeping the ring.”

“Keep it, I don’t need it for anything,” he said and opened up the drawer on the table near the front door. “You can have mine too. Fuck if I want this shit lying around reminding me of the bitch I wasted three years of my life on,” he said and slapped his wedding band into her hand.

“Go to hell, Austin,” Jami said with irritation. Lizzy glared at her.

“I got out of hell when I divorced you,” he said. She rolled her eyes and put the wedding ring into her purse.

“You act like I was the only guilty one involved,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest again. “I mean, sure I had an affair, I won’t lie…”

“An? As in one? I think you’re skipping out on about four there, Jami,” he said.

“How many people did you sleep with, Austin? How many of your little groupie whores did you get involved with? Probably more than you can even count.”

“This is stupid, Jami. We are just running in fucking circles! Get out of my fucking house, is that really so god damned hard?” he snapped.

“I’m not leaving until this is settled,” she said firmly. Lizzy tried not to say anything. She didn’t want to seem nosy but she wanted badly to tell this woman where she could shove it.

“It is settled. You aren’t getting anything else from me. I’m not fighting with you over it anymore. We have no kids and no real reason to still be fighting over this marriage. I’ve moved on,” he said.

“And what a pretty little tramp she is,” Jami said and rolled her eyes towards Lizzy. “Congratulations on your baby, Austin.” Lizzy’s eyes went wide and she bit down on her tongue hard enough to taste blood before she inserted herself into the conversation.

“Don’t bring her into your petty fight,” Austin snapped.

“Look, I don’t give a damn who you fuck or what you do, I just want you to stop acting like you don’t owe me everything I’m asking for,” she said.

“I don’t owe you a god damn thing! You got half of what I made while we were married, legally that is all you get. You got the house, you got money, you got everything! What the fuck more do you want?! I even gave you the fucking rings bitch,” he snapped.

“I want you to stop acting like…”

“Like what?! Like my wife fucked five other men while I was out making all that money for her to fucking take when she was done with me? Like I should just get on my knees and fucking kiss your feet and throw everything I have at you? Is that what you fucking think? Is that what you want? You want my car too, bitch? This house? The furniture? Fucking take it if it will make you leave me the fuck alone! Here let me help you fucking move it!” He opened the front door then and picked up the side table before throwing it out into the drive way. “I think you can take the lamp yourself!” he snapped as he pulled the lamp out of the wall and threw it at her. Jami ducked quickly before it hit her and Lizzy jumped at the sound of it shattering against the wall.

“Get a fucking grip, Austin. My god,” Jami scoffed. “You’re acting like a mental patient.” He took hold of her arm then before pulling her towards himself and lifting her up into a threshold. “What the fuck are you doing?! Put me down you fucking crazy asshole!” she screamed as he carried her out the door. Lizzy watched as Jami attempted to get out of his hold and when he got close enough to her car he dropped her. “Son of a bitch!” Jami screamed as she landed on her back on the pavement.

“Do not come back,” Austin snapped and walked back into the house and slammed the door. Lizzy didn’t move as he stormed pass her and up the stairs. A few seconds later she heard his bedroom door slam shut and she looked down with hurt. She took a deep breath and went outside to see Jami dusting her body off and she stormed up to the little brunette.

“Look here, I don’t see what right you think you have to come over here and fuck up his life,” she said with her accent coming through strong.

“Oh my god, you’re like a fucking watch dog! Are you doing to bite me?” Jami snapped as she dug through her purse for her keys.

“No, a dog wouldn’t waste its time biting your skinny ass,” Lizzy snapped. Jami laughed.

“When you show up in an issue of Maxim, come talk to me about my skinny ass,” she said and slid a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. “Although last I heard they weren’t accepting cows in their lineup.”

Lizzy resisted the urge to slap Jami across the face then. “You might have your skeletal little body and your airbrushed good looks, but you missed out on the best thing you ever had when you gave that man up,” she snapped.

“Don’t kid yourself honey, Austin’s not the saint you seem to think he is. Sure he let you move in here, and sure he’ll take care of your little bastard child, but he doesn’t give a shit about you as long as you keep giving him some action,” Jami said.

“You think I’m sleeping with Austin? You think he did all of this for me because I’m sleeping with him? For someone that was married to him, you obviously don’t know him at all. You don’t even deserve to call yourself his ex wife,” Lizzy said with annoyance. Jami laughed out loud.

“Fine honey, good luck in not sleeping with him,” Jami said and rolled her eyes. “Because I totally can see you’re not the girl that just gives it up,” she continued and patted Lizzy’s pregnant belly. Lizzy took hold of her hand then and bent it backwards the the wrist with all of her strength. Jami nearly screamed in pain.

“Do not ever put your hands on me again,” she said. “And if I see your ugly boney ass here again I’ll break that wrist,” she snapped and let go of Jami with a thrust of her own wrist.

“I can guarantee you are going to get yours for that,” Jami said as she held onto her injured wrist before getting into her car and pulling out of the driveway so fast that her tires squealed. Lizzy rolled her eyes and went back into the house before going up the stairs and knocking gently on Austin’s door.

“What?” he called from inside the room.

“Can I come in, babe?” she asked. She head the lock on the door click over and she tried the handle. It turned and the door opened. She walked in and sat on the bed with him. “Are you alright?”

“Other than being a little ashamed of myself I’m perfectly alright,” he said and lay back on the bed. Lizzy sighed and lay next to him on her side.

“Why are you ashamed of yourself?” she asked with curiosity.

“Because of my behavior downstairs,” he said honestly. “That woman makes me so irrationally angry.”

“It’s okay,” Lizzy said.

“No, it wasn’t okay for me to behave that way in your presence,” he said. She rolled her eyes. “I shouldn’t have created that kind of stress.”

“Be quiet, Austin,” Lizzy said and ran her fingers through his hair. “I’m doing just fine, and I love you too,” she said and he looked at her with a little bit of surprise. She smiled and kissed his lips gently. “You’re an amazing man, Austin. I couldn’t think of someone I’d rather have as the father of my child. Because it doesn’t have to be blood to be yours if you want her.”

“Of course I want her,” he said and rested his hand on her stomach gently. Her baby kicked under his hand and they both smiled at the feeling. “She’s ours.”