Just to Live

‘Room, room, room,’ was the single word that Tabitha kept chanting to herself. She wanted to run into her room after she cried in front of Matthew. She didn’t like that he saw her cry. She was usually so strong and could bottle feelings up until she was alone, but for some reason, she slipped up at the gym.

When Matthew unlocked the front door of the mansion, Tabitha rushed up the stairs to her room. Matthew made his way into the living room and found Brian there watching a show on the television.

Brian shut the TV off and gave Matthew a can of Pepsi from the mini cooler he brought into the room.

“How’s your birthday going?” Brian asked.

Matthew opened his can and said before taking a sip, “Pretty good actually.”

“Where’d you go?”

“I took Tabitha to the gym. Get her anger out.”

Brian raised his eyebrow. “On your birthday?”

“Yeah,” Matthew confirmed. “It was a good experience. She calls this place home.”

“Does she really?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna go check some e-mails and whatever.”

“Come down before nine! Your dinner!” Brian remembered to shout before Matthew touched the staircase.

“Yeah, yeah!” Matthew called back.

He walked into the office, finding a box on top of his desk. He sat down in his chair and opened the box.

I HEARD YOU SAY YOUR OLD SUNGLASSES BROKE SO I BOUGHT YOU ANOTHER PAIR. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

He grinned, sighing in appreciation. He loved the present. It was so thoughtful.

At nine p.m., Brian sent Matthew a text telling him to go down to the dining room for his birthday dinner. Matthew followed his best friend’s orders after he rolled back the sleeves to his black button down shirt. He was only turning 30, but he thought it would be nice to dress up a little.

At the foot of the stairs, Mathew noticed the lights to the entire bottom floor were off. He wondered if there was a small power outage in the house. But that wouldn’t make sense because no lights for the staircase had flickered off.

He used his phone’s light to navigate into the dark dining room. “This is ridiculous,” he muttered to himself.

“SURPRISE!”

All the lights flickered back on as Matthew screamed, “Holy shit!” His mouth was open in shock, not expecting a surprise birthday party. Even Jimmy and Johnny were back two weeks early to celebrate his birthday.

“So the birthday boy’s here. Let’s fucking party!” Brian laughed, giving Matthew a thumbs up.

The surprise birthday party put Matthew in an even better mood. He walked around the room, saying hello to all his friends. Eventually, he ran out of people to greet so he sat back and watched everyone interact with one another. He kept catching glimpses of Tabitha who was all the way over there talking to Johnny about something that made her laugh. He tried diverting his attention away from her to notice that she and the other maids wore very pretty clothes appropriate to go out in. They all wore nice tops, fitting jeans, and heels. He knew right away this was Zacky and Brian’s doing.

Later into the night after everyone sang Happy Birthday to him, he sat alone in a chair again, letting his mind collect what happened so far during the course of that day. He didn’t detect Tabitha walk up to him with two mugs of hot chocolate in her hands until she called his name.

“Why this?” he asked, accepting the drink.

She grinned at him with a new confidence. “I can’t drink so someone’s going to drink my hot chocolate with me.”

“Okay.” He looked at his mug so he wouldn’t come off as a creeper for looking at her for too long. He hadn’t realized until she sat next to him that she had makeup on her face. It was enough to heighten her facial features. He needed another distraction so he drank some of the hot chocolate. “This is good,” he complimented.

“Thanks!” she answered with happiness.

“You’re welcome! And thank you for the present.”

She spluttered. “How did you know it’s from me?”

“I just do.” In all honesty, he didn’t. He used this plan with everyone he talked to and most informed him that they bought him a different gift.

“Oh.” Tabitha felt sad that he figured out it was her. “Damn!” she cursed. “I should’ve denied that I got it for you!”

“Probably,” he chuckled. “Those aviators I wanted are $500.00. That’s a load of money for you to spend.”

She waved her hand. “I have more saved up. It’s fine.”

“What are you saving up for?”

“I don’t know. Something big I guess.”

He pouted. “You make it sound like you’re going to leave here.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know what I’ll do. I just want happiness.”

“And are you happy here?”

There wasn’t any hint of hesitation. “Yes, I am.”

Matthew wanted to grin until the corners of his mouth touched his ears, but he held it in. “Any specific reasons?” he asked.

A goofy smile appeared on her lips. She leaned to her left side so that she was almost leaning on his shoulder. He turned his neck and looked down at her. She looked into his eyes with a curious innocence.

“Can I tell you something I lied about before?” she asked.

He blinked once. “Sure.”

She moved back to her original position in the chair, but she still kept her eyes connected to his. “I did drink. I’m probably close to drunk right now.”

“You’re the soberest drunk I’ve ever met,” he chuckled. Tabitha didn’t notice, but the chuckling was out of nervousness. She was extremely close to him before and it looked like they were about to kiss.

“Thanks!” she beamed, but the glimmer began to die down. She bit the inside of her cheek while looking down at her mug. “But yeah, I don’t want to leave because of my sister and mom. But I don’t want to leave you either.”

“Oh really?” he inquired, really surprised.

“Yeah…Hey Matt?”

That was the first time she called him that. She usually called him Matthew to sound more formal.

He decided to follow her example. “What’s up Tabby?”

“I’m going to pass out.”