Just to Live

Tomorrow arrived like a downpour of rain after a long drought. Everyone expected to happen, but its appearance brought mirth to all, especially Matthew. He passed by all the rooms on the third floor, finding it void of people. He realized it had been years since he lived in a house all by himself, and he felt lonely.

Tabitha’s room was the only one with the door open. She was by the window, staring out.

He wondered why she was blissfully enjoying the view until he remembered the entire left side of the mansion faced the beach that was crowded with people of all ages even after nightfall.

“Why aren’t you out with you family?” he asked, startling her.

Tabitha turned around, her cheeks painted pink. “My mom took Erika clothes shopping. She’s growing up so fast, it’s hard to digest.”

He smiled. He hadn’t even tried yet and he already found a basis for them.

“At least you get to see your little sister grow up. I was touring so much, I missed almost everything.”

“I guess you’re right. Are you close to her now?”

Their light conversation felt auspicious. He didn’t have to exert much energy to pitch into their small talk.

“Yeah, we’re close now. She’s on a basketball team.”

“That’s cool. What are you doing here? I thought you’d be out somewhere.”

He tilted his head to the side. It was a subconscious action to tell her that he was interested in their conversation and that he wanted her to walk closer to him.

“Nah,” he replied. “I wanted to stay home and eat all the cake. Wanna come with?”

There was no harm in his question. It wasn’t like the last time when she cracked and was completely vulnerable. That was a day she wished didn’t happen. If she dreaded letting her own mother know of her resentful emotions, she most definitely did not want Mathew to know.

“Sure, let’s go,” she decided, walking past Matthew. They trekked down to the kitchen in a silence. There wasn’t any thing to say. Asking about the weather or TV shows recently aired wasn’t a great topic since both people stayed inside the mansion most of the week working. Ergo, they sat at the counter drinking their coffee and eating their slices of carrot cake quietly.

The stillness made Matthew twitchy. He knew the tension filled the room in a taunting manner. And of course, only thinking the word “tension” made him sing the song in his head.

‘But every now and then…I drive alone and over all. Hot summer day, a gentle breeze that feels alright, all alone. And I can’t the pain. Only strain. Enjoy the sights. I feel alive. When actually here just feels alright, far from home.’

“Why are you staring at me?” Tabitha asked, looking at her carrot cake.

‘Shit, think quick!’

“You have different clothes on,” he commented. “How’d you get them?”

She slid her stool back a few inches and saw the clothes she was wearing. “I asked Brian to buy them for me. I gave him money for it,” she replied. A few articles of clothing Brian bought was a girl fitted t-shirt with a ninja jumping out of a cake with the phrase, “A ninja could be anywhere,” underneath the cake and Capri jeans.

Matthew chuckled. “He would buy you a ninja shirt.”

“Yeah I know!” she agreed, laughing too. “Just ‘cause I’m Asian.”

“I don’t know, are you a ninja?”

“Well, my suit is in the wash, so what do you think?” she smiled, winking at him.