Just to Live

“Tabby! It’s almost Halloween!” Erika screeched, running up to Brian’s office as soon as she was home from school.

Halfway done with wiping one of the windows, Tabitha jumped down from the chair she was standing on and threw the dusty paper towel into the trash.

“Is it really?” she asked, indifferent about the holiday.

Erika dropped her book bag on the ground and hopped into Brian’s computer chair. “Duh! How could you forget?”

“Sorry,” she apologized. “What are you gonna do?”

“I’m going trick or treating with my school! We have to make our own costumes and whoever has the best wins a prize!”

“Do you need help with your costume?”

“I haven’t figured out what I wanna be yet.”

“Well,” Tabitha patted Erika’s thigh, “when you find out what you wanna be, I’ll help you make it.”

“Mmkay. Oh! Zacky wants you down in the living room.”

Tabitha scratched her cheek. “Only me?”

“No, everyone! Let’s go!”

Erika pulled Tabitha down to the living room in time for the two of them to hear there was going to a Halloween party at the mansion. The 30 women would have to spend the rest of the day finding costumes for the upcoming gathering in two weeks. Each Avenged Sevenfold member would carry a group of five girls and he would pay for the costume and any extra accessories.

By the time they all arrived at the mall, Jimmy called Tabitha to be in his group, but Brian disagreed. They argued over a costume for the poor girl until Brian gave up.

“Make her a ninja! Please?” Brian pleaded as the other girls dragged him towards the entrance of a costume store.

Jimmy cackled. “Shush your mouth. I shall think of it while on my quest for the perfect costumes for my girls.”

“You know, I think I should go with my mom and sister and help them out,” Tabitha said, walking towards the Disney store.

“No!” Jimmy whined. “We’re gonna find you an awesome costume!”

Jimmy took his group of girls to different stores around the mall to help find their “perfect costumes.” He also helped pick outfits for anyone who was unsure between two different possible winners. He apparently was in a super hero mood so he made each girl agree to wear a superhero outfit. No one disagreed, except for Tabitha. She didn’t disagree, but she didn’t agree to it either. Instead, she hid from the group by staying in an aisle in the store very far away from everyone else.

“There’s my Tabby!” cried Jimmy, appearing from behind her.

“Oh my god!” she screamed, covering her head with her hands. When she opened her eyes, Jimmy was in front of her with a huge smile on his face.

“I found the perfect one for you!” he chorused, showing her the costume in its plastic packaging.

“But why Catwoman?” she pouted.

He scoffed and looked at the costume, then at her, and so forth so she could understand the dramatics. “Your name is Tabby and Catwoman is a cat! Come on! Let’s go try it on!”

“Can’t I be Mr. Potato Head?” she asked from her stall in the dressing room.

Jimmy was sitting on the bench along the wall of the dressing room. “No!” he answered back. “He’s fat and we want you sexi-fied!”

“Why?” she continued, pulling up the zipper.

“Just ‘cause!”

She clicked her tongue and opened the door. Given that she had never worn leather before in her life, it felt awkward how that it fit her almost like a second skin. The material of the costume wasn’t cheap either like she expected.

Jimmy pouted. “Where’s your mask?”

“Still in the bag. I didn’t want to put it on.”

Tabitha walked over to the mirror and inspected herself and the costume. The way the one-piece suit clung to her body made her look so thin, almost as if she was anorexic. At least she wasn’t so skinny where her ribs were visible.

Jimmy took the mask—it was more of a hat—and spun it 360 degrees. He distinctly remembered Michelle Pfeiffer kept her hair tucked inside her suit. It must’ve felt extremely uncomfortable.

“You know, instead of having your hair tied up so it doesn’t get in the way with the costume, you should pin it back and curl it.”

“When exactly did you turn into a girl?” Tabitha asked, a smirk forming on her lips.

He almost laughed. That was why he wanted her to be Catwoman. She had sly and sarcastic moments that made her a good match for the devious feline. On the other hand, her mental status was similar to Selina Kyle’s in Batman Returns. Whenever Tabitha showed even a modicum of vulnerability, she either tried to escape or raised her walls up again.

How was it possible to love someone when it was so hard for her to show she was human like everyone else?

“Hug time!” Jimmy sang, picking Tabitha up as she walked out of her stall. He ignored her uses of profanity and screams to let her go. He knew she really needed a hug, but would never admit or accept one. Even though it wasn’t a warm embrace he wanted to give her, any kind of hug would have to do.