Let Love In

Noah heard the click of the door shutting behind her as the force of Garrett’s lips on hers pushed her against the wall. They stood against the wall, not even bothering to turn on the light, and Noah felt a déjà vu, remembering back to that party at the Gomez brother’s house. Feeling slightly more confident because this was indeed her room in her house and not a stranger’s, she reached behind her to click the lock on the door handle before reaching up to grab Garrett’s collar. His hands were already wrapped around her waist, feeling around at her skin, pushing the fabric of her t-shirt slowly up her body. Garrett detached his lips from hers, leaning back with a smile before quickly moving on to that sweet spot on her neck. She automatically melted at his touch when he targeted that spot he knew so well, and closed her eyes, sighing deeply before running her fingers slowly through his hair.

Garrett wrapped his arms around her body, picking her up and carrying her through the dark toward her bed. They stumbled over each other once their bodies hit the mattress, quickly getting on the same page about the direction they were headed.

They fumbled around in the dark, keeping their lips connected as they struggled, moving all over the bed tugging at fabrics and zippers and buttons. Noah leaned in to kiss the dip of Garrett’s neck just above his collar bone, and she felt his breath exhale across her exposed shoulder. She shuddered slightly at the sensation, her eyes fluttering open in immediate reaction. He moved to wrap his arms around her neck and shoulders, finding a way to hold her closer to him as though they could never get close enough.

The less clothing they had between them, the closer Garrett held her tightly to him. His kisses became more gentle and thoughtfully placed, the initial roughness and rapid escalation of things was replaced with a complete one-eighty effect. The rough and rapid nature of his breathing slowed, creating a much more calming sound than before. Noah was almost caught off guard with the sudden change in behavior until she heard the familiar deepness in his sigh after a gentle kiss on her forehead, and she intertwined her fingers with his, pulling his hand above her head against the pillow. She kissed him softly, smiling into the kiss, and melted into his touch.

They abandoned sleep for what they thought was love. Exhaustion slowed their pace once the early morning glow seeped through the curtains. The two silently stared at the ceiling, keeping to their own side of the mattress as they caught their breath. Garrett closed his eyes and drummed his fingers against his bare chest, and Noah pulled the blanket tightly around herself, staring at the illuminated curtains covering the window on the far wall. No words were spoken between them, the few inches of space between their bodies felt like miles as Noah look at Garrett’s sleeping body out of the corner of her eye. She debated whether or not to cross the space between them and curl up against his warm body. She could easily move his arm to wrap herself under it, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. She couldn’t bring herself to reach over the few empty inches of bed sheet to touch him. She couldn’t bring herself to cross that space, deciding to turn on her shoulder facing the opposite wall.

Noah closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing, feeling her heart jolt at the distance. She was sure that Garrett didn’t see the space between them as anything more than a few physical inches of mattress, but that didn’t stop her from letting her mind run away with itself. Though her eyes were shut tight, she couldn’t bring herself to sleep, thoughts of Colin seeped into her racing mind reminding her that she hadn’t told Garrett yet. How was she supposed bring it up now, especially after the night they just had. After an eternity of silence and distance between them, Noah felt the mattress shift and the sound of Garrett shuffling around the room broke the silence.

“Noah.” He whispered quietly, Noah choosing not to respond. Garrett continued to shuffle around the room, and Noah peaked her eyes open to see him on his hands and knees, looking under her side of the bed. She giggled at the sight of him and sat up.

“Gare, what are you doing?”

“I can’t find my clothes and I gotta pee.” He smiled sheepishly at her, a blush crossing his cheeks as he paused to look at her.

“I have some basketball shorts in the left drawer. You’re going to need those if you want to leave this room, because I have no clue what time it is and we’re in a house full of people.” Garrett stood at her instruction and opened the drawer, digging around to find the shorts. Noah smiled at him, hugging the blanket around herself as she ran her fingers through her hair. He laughed quietly to himself as he slipped the shorts on, walking back to her and kissing her on the forehead. Noah ran her fingers across the bare skin of his waist as he pulled her into a quick hug before turning to leave.

The door clicked shut behind him and Noah fell back across the mattress with a sigh. She laid in bed, her eyes drifting across the different things she had on display in her room. She smiled at the old photos in various frames, focusing specifically on an old photo from her middle school days. A smiling Colin, Sarah, Riley, and Noah huddled together around a rock at the local park. She stared at the 2002 date mark in the corner of the photo, remembering back to that summer.

That was the year Colin spent virtually the entire summer over at their house, the first summer he and Sarah were inseparable best friends, the summer Noah developed her first major crush. She was always, and until recently thought she always would be just Sarah’s little sister to him. Despite their barely two year age gap, she felt completely out of his league. Her heart tugged in a million different directions the longer she stared at the photo: part of her still holding on to her first crush, while the other half screamed to move on because of Garrett. The void she felt in that distance between her and Garrett earlier translated over to her perpetual longing for what she cannot have, overanalyzing Colin’s recent attention. Noah’s internal dialog jumped from thought to thought, each increasingly detrimental and she needed to clear her head.