Just a Sprinkle of Madness...

Hi. This is a disclaimer. We own two characters, Holly and Lexi. So yep. We're pretty upset. That is all.

Holly ran for her life.

Seriously, she hadn't ran this fast from anything. EVER. Running wasn't really her thing… Which probably wasn't good now that it was pretty much the only form of land transport. It didn't take long for the men to start following her. She had to get out of sight, fast. She sort of… Ran into the first door she saw. Then she picked herself up off the ground and used her common hence, maneuvering the door open and slipping inside.

A little boy was standing there, staring at her. He looked like he was going to pee his pants, but was also oddly fascinated by this mysterious person who had just walked into his house. 'A-are you a p-pirate?' He asked her. She considered how it was every boys dream to be a pirate and decided she was in no danger here. She threw her arms up in mock defeat. 'You got me!'

The boy giggled. 'I don't wanna get you! You're cool!'

Did I mention how weird it is to find this within your favorite pirate movie?

Holly put her finger to her lips and he copied her, signaling he knew he had to be quiet. The guards would be here any second now. She crouched down in front of him and whispered softly.

'You wanna help me escape?'

*

5 minutes later, Holly was off. She had always wanted to dress like this: loose-fitting old fashioned shirt, ill fitting trousers and a hat that had all her hair bunched up into it. It might not sound glamourous, but if there was ever clothes that made you feel like a pirate, it was clothes like this. Of course, it was missing a few stains, rips and otherwise authentic pirate marks, but for now it was doing it's job: To hide her identity from anyone who might recognize her. If she could manage to not get caught, she could wreck all kinds of havoc until it was time to leave.

She vaguely recognized a few streets from the movie but there were some places that she just got completely lost in. It probably didn't help that she was not the best when it came to navigational skills. Holly's heart stopped when she was roughly grabbed by the collar. She was caught.

"You. You're coming with me." Jack said gruffly and pulled her along with him. She tried to resist, like any.... normal citizen of Port Royal. "Me? Why?" She gave him her best puppy-dog-innocent face. "I'm just a innocent boy, Sir!"

Jack stopped suddenly and turned, causing her to bump into him. He put his face very close to hers. "Oh, really?" She could feel the warmth of his breath and it was making her whole body suddenly rise in temperature. Particularly her cheeks. "I thought so!" He smirked and whipped her hat right off her head, releasing a set of long, golden locks. He smiled, satisfied. Then he continued walking. Well, walking is always a loose term for the dear Captain.

Holly hesitated, then followed. Realizing something, she called to him. "Hey, you know, if your hunch had been wrong, you would have been flirting with a guy!"

No answer.

"How'd you know I was a girl?"

"I'm a good guesser."

"Nope. Nuh-uh. I'm not buying that. So many people in this town cannot be that stupid to think i'm a guy and then one man strolls up and immediately knows i'm a woman. Not possible."

"Lass, i'm-"

"Yeah yeah, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. It's still not possible."

"Not probable..."

Holly remembered seeing the guards flood port royal looking for Jack in the movie and swore, realizing where we were. She shoved her hair back in the hat and whispered to him. "Quick, behind here!" She shoved Jack behind the statue by the blacksmith. There were footsteps nearby, marching in time. Holly saw Navy soldiers through the archway. They most definitely would have seen Jack if he was still standing there.

"How did you know they were coming?" Jack's whisper broke her train of thought.

"I'm a good guesser, too."

Another bunch of soldiers passed and Norrington's right-hand man spotted Holly. Shit. "Civilian!" He called. "Have you seen a pirate?"

Wow. That's.... wow. Great description.

"Uhhh...."

Suddenly Norrington was there. Do you ever notice that; he's just suddenly THERE? We don't get his journey, ever! It's annoying! Especially now Holly was IN the movie!

"Anything?" He asked.

"Nay."

"Idiots, all of them!" He hissed. Jeez, vicious much? Although he did let Captain Jack Sparrow slip, but that was inevitable. Idiot thought he actually had a chance! HA!

"Actually, I think this one is just dumb.."

Wait.. Oh HELL no!

"Hey, excuse me! I'm right here! That's NO WAY to talk about a lady!" Holly almost screeched, so offended that she forgot...

... Uh oh.

In her defense, she have ALWAYS wanted to say that. Though, when she'd imagined it, she was wearing a really fancy dress and her hair was done up all nice and all. I have got to learn not to daydream so much!

Norrington's face was priceless. Shocked, Skeptical, disgusted, suspicious and just a little bit impressed. Holly wished cameras had been invented. Gilette's mouth took the shape of a small 'o'. Norrington was so flustered, he forgot his manners. "What?"

Holly thought about it. "Okay, point taken. Not a lady. Not even a little. But, I am a woman!"

Why was she thinking of the song "Sweet Transvestite" right now!?

"I'm not a transvestite." She blurted out. Then she blushed. Stop TALKING.

"Why are you dressed like that, then?"

"I'm a.. sailor, yeah that works.. See, I don't know your customs here, I just wear what works for me." Pleaseworkpleaseworkpleasework... What she heard next was NOT what she expected.

".......... Don't you ever want to look PRETTY?" Gilette asked. Oh. No. He. Didn't.

Holly took a step forward and took out her sword. "Hey, shaver man, I dare you to say that again. And then, I dare you to sit on my sword, so it goes so far up your ass that-"

"Stop!" Norrington commanded. "I have you on accounts of indecency and verbally assaulting an officer, do you really want to add to that?"

......

"You BASTARD! You call this indecency? You live ONE day in my life, in my world, i'll show you fucking indecency!" Holly abandoned her sword and lunged at him, jumping on his back and pulling his wig off and clawing at his face.

This was becoming a hobby.

She saw Jack take his leave into Brown's, so she started screaming to distract everyone. Yeah, that's the only reason. "I'm no slut! You sonofabitchpansymotherfu-!" .... Nope, not spiteful at all.

Suddenly she was on the ground and 15 swords were pointed at my chest.  Holly remembered that Jack was going to be in the prison soon so she just  rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, OK, i'll go quietly. Can I just say one more thing?"

Norrington hesitated, raised his sword to touch my throat, then nodded.

"I bet you're still a virgin."