Just a Sprinkle of Madness...

Disney owns the plot, characters and everything in general...we just own Lexi and Holly...now go read the story.

'Commodore!'

'What? What is it now?' Norrington said, frustrated. So many things had gone wrong today and he still hadn't managed to catch that damn Sparrow! He turned, confident that his men could keep that girl on the floor. What he didn't expect was a foot slamming into his back. Then, it was chaos.

All his men surged forward to help him and once again the girl was gone. How did she do that? The poor Commodore was so angry that he let out a string of expletives that he never would have otherwise said, particularly in front of his men. How embarrassing. No doubt his men would mock him for a long time to come. Not while he was present, obviously. But he knew they would.

He had to get that girl! She would hang when next daylight came!

'Jack?'

No answer.

'Jaaaaaaaack? Come on, I know you're there! Come on ou-AHH! Jack! Don't sneak up on me like that!'

''Ello Love.'

'Jack! Don't sneak up on me, it's not nice!'

'I'm a pirate. What, if any, part of that screams nice to you?' Jack raised an eyebrow at Holly. 'Actually,' Holly pointed to what he was doing. 'The fact that you're trying to break your handcuffs with a good for nothing hammer. Come here, i'll help you.'

Holly put the chain into the grooves and turned around to the fire. 'No donkeys were harmed in the making of this film.' She reminded herself, but still didn't pick it up. 'This isn't movie!' She dry sobbed. So over-emotional, sometimes, that girl.

Eventually they got the donkey going and Jack could dramatically wave his arms again. 'I was going to do that next…' He muttered. Holly smirked. 'Sure you were.'

Then she remembered the fight coming up and went to grab one of the many swords. It was much, much heavier than she expected. Just by throwing this thing she could do damage!

Suddenly Jack was gone. Poof. Holly was about to call out for him when the door opened.

And there Holly was, standing awkwardly in the middle of the blacksmiths, all alone. There was a pause.

'Will!' Holly said. 'Heeeeeeeeeey.' She awkwardly waved at him, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation to why she was here other than the pirate hidden in the back. Will just looked back at her, confused. 'Who are you?'

'Err...You mean you DON'T REMEMBER ME!'

'I'm sorry, I-'

'No, it's fine. It's been a long time. I wouldn't expect you to…' Holly sniffed dramatically. It was fun, Will was looking so apologetic yet so confused at the same time. He was still waiting for an answer.

'I'm your long lost second cousin, twice remov- HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THIS!' She called to Jack, who was still in the shadows. 'Who are you talking to…?' Will looked a little fearful now. Which was completely understandable.

'Nobody, Will. Absolutely bloody nobody.' Holly sighed.

'I really think you should leave now. Is this your hat?' Will gestured towards Jack's hat and walked over to pick it up. Obviously he didn't put two and two together that she was already wearing a hat. Oh dear,Holly thought. It seems our favorite blacksmith-turned-pirate-turned-soul-ferrier is a bit thick...

'No, it's-'

Will reached out to grab it but was interrupted by Jack slapping it with his sword. Even without the music, it was still so tense. Holly was tempted to make generic audience noises to lighten the mood. Instead, she completed her sentence.

'… his.'

Will stumbled back, shocked as he took in Jack's appearance. 'The one they're hunting! The pirate! He turned to Holly 'And you! You're….'

Holly shrugged. 'An almost innocent bystander with an obsession with adventure and a fancy for freedom?' She said, hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions. Jack snorted. 'Sounds like a pirate to me.'

'Shut up, Jack.'

'You seem somewhat familiar, have I threatened you before?' Jack asked Will, examining him closely. 'I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.' Will replied in an ugly voice.

'Daddy issues….'

'What?'

'… Nothing.'

'Well then. It would be a shame to leave a black mark on your record, so if you'll excuse me…' Jack put his sword away and turned towards the door. 'Ahem!' Holly crossed her arms and tapped her foot, waiting for acknowledgement. Jack sighed. 'Us…' Although Holly stayed where she was, knowing it was far from over. Will took he sword out with a determined look and pointed it at… her?

Suddenly Will started to bear down on Holly, taking swings at her which she blocked but did not return.

"Will-"

Clink.

"Will!"

Clink.

"Don't-"

Clink.

"You-"

Clink.

"-Fuck!"

"Such foul language for a non-pirate.." Jack tutted with a smirk. In frustration, Holly threw her sword, which flew past Will's head, narrowly missing, and stuck in the wall behind. Will and Jack looked at her, perplexed. "Where'd you learn a move like that, love?"

"Believe it or not, HIM."

Unfortunately, a throughly confused William Turnip still had a sword. Even more so, it was still pointed at Holly.

'Hey!' Holly yelled, hastily stepping so that Jack was between her and Will. Jack looked mildly annoyed that she was in his way. 'What're you-'

'Turn around.'

Jack turned to find the point of Will's sword at his throat. 'Oh.'

He took out his own sword and meet Will's with a clink. 'You think this is wise, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?'

When it comes to Will, wise isn't really a word I would use… In any circumstance. Holly thought.

'You threatened Miss Swann!' Will said. If looks could kill, Jack would be dead a hundred times over. 'And he's got closer to your girl Elizabeth than you've ever been!' Holly said out of habit, as she had every time she had watched this scene. Will's jaw slackened. 'What?'

'Yeah, within, like, 5 minutes. It was quite impressive to watch, actually.' Holly almost laughed at Will's reaction. He looked livid. Jack turned around and gave Holly a charming smile. 'Ta!'

Will let out a positively feral sound and lunged at Jack with his sword. So…. This is what it's like to be in love. Dandy. While Jack was evaluating Turnip's moves, Holly wandered around casually collecting straw into a pile so that she could have a front row seat of the action. She plopped down, wishing she had some popcorn or something to keep her hands busy. 'Run!' Jack said to her, running towards the door. Holly sighed. 'Jack, you aren't going to make it.'

'Says you!'

Holly's scream pierced the air as the sword whizzed by Jack's head. She couldn't help it. Jack attempted to get the sword out of the door as Will stood there, looking smug. 'Oh wipe that look off your face, Will. What're you gonna do now?' Holly tutted. Jack turned. 'The… Lad's right. That is a wonderful trick, but once again you are between me and my way out. And now, you have no weapon!'

'Will, the poker! Grab the poker!' Holly yelled and Jack looked even more annoyed than before. 'Just who's side are ye on?'

Holly shrugged. 'I could ask you the same question.'

As they were fighting, Jack noticed how many swords Will had. 'Who makes all these!' he exclaimed, but before Will could answer, Holly piped up. 'He does, because he has no social life, no love life, no life at all really…. Did I mention he practices with them three hours a day? That's just sad. Although doing mind numbingly boring work seems to fit his intelligence level, so… I guess it works for him.'

'How-' clink. 'Do-' clink. 'You-' clink. '-Know all this?' Will puffed, looking agitated. Holly pondered it for a second. Shall she be a gypsy? Or tell the truth. She needed more time to think about that. 'It's best you don't know, mate. I'm not sure you can handle it just quite yet..'

'You need to find yourself a girl, mate!' What a pearl of wisdom there, Jack. 'Or… Perhaps the reason you have already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet.'

'Oh, definitely. She's a bit of a slut, to be honest… Although it doesn't look as if you have much to woo her with, anyway…' Holly interjected, giving Jack a very loaded look. Jack caught on. 'You're not a eunuch, are ye?' He asked, daring a glance down there. As Holly exploded in a fit of giggles, Will tried to regain some dignity. As if. 'I practice 3 hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!'

'Keep telling yourself that, William and one day it might actually come true!' Holly said, rolling around in her straw, giggling uncontrollably as the two men started fighting again. They moved onto the wagon and eventually Will and Jack got thrown upwards. 'Huh…' Holly said. 'I was always so sure there were wires attached when they did that… Impressive.'

Eventually they were back down and Jack was backed into a wall. He looked panicked and kicked Will's sword right out of his hand. 'Jack, behind you!' Holly called. Jack grabbed the bag full of… What the hell was that? Saw dust? And pointed the open end towards Will, which Holly had always found quite amusing. Jack took this distraction to point his gun at Will, which signaled the end of the sword fight. 'You cheated!' Will complained.

Oh, Will.. You're such a whiner sometimes. Actually, make that most of the time…

'Pirate.' Jack said, as if that explained everything. Suddenly there was banging on the door and it was clear Norrington and his sheep had found them. It's a wonder they didn't start shooting the door, for all the brain power they had between them. Jack nervously started looking for another exit, but Will had realized and was blocking his only way out. 'Move away.' Jack said, brandishing the gun. Will didn't move. 'Please move?'

'Really? Your staring down the barrel of a gun held by a pirate that would more than happily kill you and you say NO? Will, for gods sake, move your ass before I feel inclined to chop your head off!' Holly said, before running over to just beside the door which was being attacked. She had had an idea, because she knew Jack wasn't to get out. At least she could have some fun.

'I cannot just step aside and let you escape!' Will said desperately.

'This shot was not meant for you.' Jack said in all seriousness. Instead of using his brain, which he rarely does, Will just stayed where he was and looked confused by what Jack had said. Holly watched in horror out of the shadows of her safe corner, wanting to somehow warn Jack but unable to draw attention to herself. As if on cue, Mr Brown waddled over to Jack and smashed his bottle over the pirate's head. Holly cringed, that would have hurt more than the hangover after Jack's worst night of drinking.

Suddenly the scene was a lot more colourful, as the sheep finally managed to break down the door. Norrington, in all his pompous glory, lead them as they surrounded Jack. 'Excellent work, Mr Brown. You have just assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive.' He praised ignorantly, making Will look more than a little bit pissed off. He rolled his eyes when Brown responded with 'Just doin' my civic duties, sir!'

'Well I trust you will always remember this as-'

'Oi, Norry!' Holly yelled and swung on the sack that Jack was hanging from before. She aimed to hit his head, but missed, swinging over to the other side of the room, rapidly losing control of where she was going. 'Woah-Ohhhhhh!' She cried out nervously. Everyone was watching her fail. How embarrassing…

She dropped in the middle of the crowd. 'Heya, Ice Cream Head, how's the back?'

Norrington looked livid. 'Arrest her!' His men moved in on Holly, who grabbed poor Will and hid behind him. 'Help me!' She whispered to him.

'Her?'

Holly took off her hat and bowed, letting her blonde hair fall free. 'Holly Robinson, at your service. Not really, but we can just pretend.'

Holly didn't really expect him to help her. Why would he? So, you can see why she was so surprised when Will said 'You can't arrest him! Err.. Her…. It.' This earned a punch in the back from Holly. Norrington stepped very close to Will, trying to intimidate him. 'It is not your place, Turner, to tell me who I can or cannot arrest.' He said in a warning tone.

'But he… she saved my life!'

'She did?' Norrington looked surprised. 'I did?' Holly asked, just as surprised. 'I mean, I did! Of course I did!' She leant up to Will's ear. 'When did I do this?' Will turned his head slightly towards her. 'If you hadn't reminded me about the poker to use as a weapon, I would most certainly be dead by now. I am in debt to you.'

Good thing Jack didn't hear that..

'Trust me mate, you would've come up with that all on your onesies!' Holly patted him on the back.

'Regardless, she is to be hung for assaulting a navy officer.' Norrington said all snot nosed and smug. Holly couldn't stand it. She poked her head out the side of Will, making sure the rest of her was still covered. 'Tell ya what, Norry, how about we engage in battle, just the two of us? If I win, I get to go free and if you win… Well, you get to see me hang at dawn. Savvy?'

Behind WIll's back, Holly had grabbed his hands and made them like a ledge that she could stand on, which was exactly what she intended on using them as. She had spotted the sand bag she had swung on had come to rest right above Norrington. While he was preoccupied telling her all the reasons why he was being a pansy, she grabbed Will's shoulders and hoisted herself up to slash the rope that was holding the bag. It narrowly missed his head to pound on his foot. He howled in pain and kneeled over, soon writhing next to where Jack's body lay still.

'What's that, James Norrington? You ARE a pansy? Oh, and a virgin too? *gasp* I knew it! Why didn't you just say that from the beginning, it would have saved you a lot of pain!' Holly shouted over the cries, enjoying stirring shit. She was going to pay for this later, but it was so damn fun!

What she didn't expect was Will dropping her and two navy men catching her, increasing to four, one holding each of her limbs and carrying her away. 'What! Will! You back stabbing S.O.B.! You owe me, remember! You owe meeeeeeeeee!'

And just like that, it was over.

Reader TO-DO list round 3

1. REVIEW =D

2. Hide Jack's rum.

3. Make Jack go on a treasure hunt in order to recapture said rum.

4. Commit mutiny aboard one of Jack's rowboats whilst rowing to shore.

5. Point and laugh uncontrollably as Jack swims to shore.

6. Run for your life.

7. Attempt to fix Jack's compass.

8. Play ten-pin bowling on the main deck of the Black Pearl, using rum bottles and a cannon ball.

9. Review a few more times just for good measure =D