Vacant Hope to Take
oo4
Cara's chubby fingers wrapped themselves around the mascara container that was sat on the bathroom counter in front of me. She banged it on the marble a few times while looking at me expectantly. Her big eyes told me all of the words she couldn't yet put into action.
"Want!" she yelled.
"Okay, Care Bear, hold on a second," I smiled down at her. I finished putting the eyeliner on around my own eyes, then reached for the bright pink container in her hand.
She pulled away from me, eyebrows crinkling over blue eyes that were dancing with tiny flames. She glared at me angrily. "No, Mama! Me!"
I laughed at her. "Okay, let me open it, though."
She handed me the bottle and I twisted it open for her. I handed the top back to her and immediately her face broke out in a grin. She put the brush up to her eyes like she'd seen me do many times before and slid it both above and below her eyelids. She smeared it around for awhile longer before handing it back to me. "Mama like it?"
I closed the bottled quickly before turning back to Cara and picking her up from her place atop the toilet seat. I spun her around a few times then set her on my hip, kissing her cheek. "You look beautiful," I gushed, causing her to smile and lean forward to kiss my cheek back.
There was a knock on the bedroom door. I flicked the light off and walked with my daughter from the bathroom. I pulled open the door to see another of our housemates, Jimmy, standing outside it. He took a look at Cara and raised an eyebrow. "And why wasn't I invited to this makeover party?"
"Didn't you get your invitation? I'm sorry, Jim, it must've gotten lost in the mail." I smiled at the tall man in front of me.
"As long as I'm invited to the next one." He grinned. "You're coming down for lunch, right?" he asked. There was something hidden in the question that I knew I would soon find out.
"Of course we are. Why? Is something wrong?"
He sighed, eyes shifting between me and something in the bedroom behind me. "Um, none of us have seen Matt since two days ago. He stayed in his room all day yesterday. We were wondering if you could go in and get him to come down and eat. It's, uh, not really healthy for him to sit alone for so long, y'know?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I'll go get him, Jim. We'll be down in a bit."
The rap of my knuckles against the hard surface of Matt's bedroom door was sharp and loud in the silent hallway. There was no sound from inside the room at first and I almost decided to just stop trying and to go down to eat. I knew Cara was hungry, and I was, too. But, after a few seconds I heard Matt make a noise that sounded reproachful. I assumed it meant I could enter the room, and took it as meaning such. I adjusted Cara on my hip then pushed the door open.
Matt stood at the opposite side of the room, in front of one of the two large windows. He was wearing only a pair of jeans; torso and feet were bare. His tattoo-covered arms hung loosely at his sides as he stared outside. He didn't even turn when I entered the room.
I crossed the carpeted floor slowly and quietly. Cara was uncomfortable, that I could tell. She'd never much liked being around Matt. I walked over and stood beside him. I placed the hand that wasn't helping hold my daughter up on his forearm so that he'd look at me. "Matthew?"
His hazel eyes moved from whatever it was he'd been staring at, which was probably nothing, to my face. Slowly, his gaze turned to Cara. She stared back at him, waiting.
"What do you want, Taylor?" His voice was flat.
"The guys are worried about you. Jimmy said you didn't leave your room yesterday. Why?"
His eyes narrowed into slits. "I think you know why, Taylor."
I sighed. I dropped Cara down to the floor so that she could walk around. "Don't mess with anything, Care," I warned her before looking back up at Matt. "Let's talk."
He shoved past me and went to sit down on the bed. I followed behind him. "Why did you bring her?"
"We were getting ready to go to lunch and Jimmy asked me to come talk to you. I thought you wanted to see her?"
"Shut up."
"Don't tell me what to do in front of our daughter, Matthew."
"Our daughter."
"Don't say it like that."
"Like what?"
I reached up and grabbed hold of his chin, pulling his face closer to mine. His own hand grabbed hold of my wrist tightly. I knew there would be a bruise the next day, but I didn't let go. "Whether you want to admit it or not, she is our daughter. I know you don't know her, but that doesn't stop you from being her father. Don't talk about her like that when she's here in the room with you." I glared at him, and he tightened his grip on my wrist.
A loud pop sounded and a horrible pain raced up my arm. I let out a loud yelp and pulled away from him just as he let go of my wrist. Cara looked up from the picture on the nightstand she'd been looking at and Matt stared at me. I felt tears prick my eyes as I stood up.
I walked over to Cara and picked her up on my hip. The look she shot at Matt was one of hatred, and for the first time in a long time, I was glad she didn't know who he was. "And to think I was going to let you get to know her." I shook my head, scoffing as I left the room to go to the infirmary.
"Want!" she yelled.
"Okay, Care Bear, hold on a second," I smiled down at her. I finished putting the eyeliner on around my own eyes, then reached for the bright pink container in her hand.
She pulled away from me, eyebrows crinkling over blue eyes that were dancing with tiny flames. She glared at me angrily. "No, Mama! Me!"
I laughed at her. "Okay, let me open it, though."
She handed me the bottle and I twisted it open for her. I handed the top back to her and immediately her face broke out in a grin. She put the brush up to her eyes like she'd seen me do many times before and slid it both above and below her eyelids. She smeared it around for awhile longer before handing it back to me. "Mama like it?"
I closed the bottled quickly before turning back to Cara and picking her up from her place atop the toilet seat. I spun her around a few times then set her on my hip, kissing her cheek. "You look beautiful," I gushed, causing her to smile and lean forward to kiss my cheek back.
There was a knock on the bedroom door. I flicked the light off and walked with my daughter from the bathroom. I pulled open the door to see another of our housemates, Jimmy, standing outside it. He took a look at Cara and raised an eyebrow. "And why wasn't I invited to this makeover party?"
"Didn't you get your invitation? I'm sorry, Jim, it must've gotten lost in the mail." I smiled at the tall man in front of me.
"As long as I'm invited to the next one." He grinned. "You're coming down for lunch, right?" he asked. There was something hidden in the question that I knew I would soon find out.
"Of course we are. Why? Is something wrong?"
He sighed, eyes shifting between me and something in the bedroom behind me. "Um, none of us have seen Matt since two days ago. He stayed in his room all day yesterday. We were wondering if you could go in and get him to come down and eat. It's, uh, not really healthy for him to sit alone for so long, y'know?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I'll go get him, Jim. We'll be down in a bit."
The rap of my knuckles against the hard surface of Matt's bedroom door was sharp and loud in the silent hallway. There was no sound from inside the room at first and I almost decided to just stop trying and to go down to eat. I knew Cara was hungry, and I was, too. But, after a few seconds I heard Matt make a noise that sounded reproachful. I assumed it meant I could enter the room, and took it as meaning such. I adjusted Cara on my hip then pushed the door open.
Matt stood at the opposite side of the room, in front of one of the two large windows. He was wearing only a pair of jeans; torso and feet were bare. His tattoo-covered arms hung loosely at his sides as he stared outside. He didn't even turn when I entered the room.
I crossed the carpeted floor slowly and quietly. Cara was uncomfortable, that I could tell. She'd never much liked being around Matt. I walked over and stood beside him. I placed the hand that wasn't helping hold my daughter up on his forearm so that he'd look at me. "Matthew?"
His hazel eyes moved from whatever it was he'd been staring at, which was probably nothing, to my face. Slowly, his gaze turned to Cara. She stared back at him, waiting.
"What do you want, Taylor?" His voice was flat.
"The guys are worried about you. Jimmy said you didn't leave your room yesterday. Why?"
His eyes narrowed into slits. "I think you know why, Taylor."
I sighed. I dropped Cara down to the floor so that she could walk around. "Don't mess with anything, Care," I warned her before looking back up at Matt. "Let's talk."
He shoved past me and went to sit down on the bed. I followed behind him. "Why did you bring her?"
"We were getting ready to go to lunch and Jimmy asked me to come talk to you. I thought you wanted to see her?"
"Shut up."
"Don't tell me what to do in front of our daughter, Matthew."
"Our daughter."
"Don't say it like that."
"Like what?"
I reached up and grabbed hold of his chin, pulling his face closer to mine. His own hand grabbed hold of my wrist tightly. I knew there would be a bruise the next day, but I didn't let go. "Whether you want to admit it or not, she is our daughter. I know you don't know her, but that doesn't stop you from being her father. Don't talk about her like that when she's here in the room with you." I glared at him, and he tightened his grip on my wrist.
A loud pop sounded and a horrible pain raced up my arm. I let out a loud yelp and pulled away from him just as he let go of my wrist. Cara looked up from the picture on the nightstand she'd been looking at and Matt stared at me. I felt tears prick my eyes as I stood up.
I walked over to Cara and picked her up on my hip. The look she shot at Matt was one of hatred, and for the first time in a long time, I was glad she didn't know who he was. "And to think I was going to let you get to know her." I shook my head, scoffing as I left the room to go to the infirmary.