I'm Never Okay

"Head shot!" They burst into hysterical laughter and hi-fives as a sandwich hit Frank on the side of his head. He closed his eyes for a moment before fake-smiling at the stupid jocks. No Gerard, Mikey or Hayley, this was just like how it used to be. He looked at the sandwich for a second before tossing it away.

"Fuck them," he muttered. "Fuck all of them." His eyes darted towards the group. He could just make out Hayley talking to Lauren before he couldn't watch any longer.

He clenched his teeth and thought of Gerard talking about revenge. He almost didn't notice the second sandwich that hit him on the shoulder.

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"Oh, we don't do this every lunchtime," Lauren laughed. "The guys are sometimes so immature. But usually Frank is with those other guys, that art dude and his stick-figure brother. Come on! Can you say geeky much?" The talking dissolved into cheers as the second sandwich took Frank in the shoulder.

Hayley stood up. "I have to go to the bathroom," she said abruptly, walking off. "I have to go throw up now," she added under her breath.

No one seemed to notice her absence, and as she walked through the silent hallway, she realised. It didn't matter, in California or in New Jersey, everywhere, people were the same. Rich kid jerks were all the same.

When she got to the bathroom, she stared at herself in the mirror. At that moment, she hated herself. She was a gutless, hopeless wimp. She knew all too well she could have just told them to stop, or walked over to Frank and sat down with him. Sure, the jocks and the preps wouldn't have liked her much, but she didn't like them either. What was the big deal?

She pulled out her pocket knife and locked herself into a cubicle. You're an awful person. You can't stand up for yourself or your friends. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve any friends, especially not guys as nice as Frank and Gerard and Mikey...