I'm Never Okay

Hayley looked around the room in awe. "Frank, this is amazing."

Frank shrugged modestly, grinning. "I do what I can." The room had a double bed with dark bedsheets, a stereo system, guitar and punk and rock posters on the walls.

"Oh!" That's an awesome guitar!" Hayley glanced at Frank. "Does it have a name?"

"No, not yet. I've got a few names in mind. Do you wanna try it out?"

"Do you mind?"

Frank shrugged. "Go for it."

She plucked a few strings and tried a few chords before strumming an impromptu riff. Frank watched her, delighted. "You play, too?"

She nodded self-consciously. "You play something," she suggested, walking over to the bed he was sitting on, holding the guitar out to him.

"Alright then..." He took the guitar and thought of what song was worthy of her. One he wrote only a short while ago. When he'd met her. "This is a new song, I only wrote it the other day." He sat cross-legged on the bed and patted the space next to him, where Hayley sat down.

He strummed a few notes and then began to sing along softly.

"No matter how hard I try
to break all the ties
Heartbreak is forever
The land of the lost
I found myself in nothing

This time,
promises broken
Find me clutching to you,
for something,
for something that you're not."

Hayley watched, spellbound.

"I can't close my eyes
I can't shut my eyes to you
I can't close my eyes
I won't shed a tear for you"

Frank kept singing and strumming. He was an amazing musician.

"And heartbreak is forever. Nothing lasts forever..." He trailed off and met Hailey's eyes.

What is it with guys and guitars? It's like a natural aphrodisiac, she thought. "Frank. You're incredible."

He ducked his head shyly and returned his attention to the guitar.

"How long have you been playing?"

"Well I really only took it up coz one of my friends was bragging that he could play guitar at graduation, so, coz my whole family's into music, I made my dad teach me some chords, and...that was it."

"You're lucky to have a family that likes what you do," she said, a brooding expression in her eyes.

"Yeah." Frank thought about that for a moment. "Yeah, I do. So, uh, how about you? Why did your family move from LA to here? Do you miss it?"

Hayley gave a short laugh. "Miss LA. As if. Have you ever been there? Fucking sunshine 24/7, it was killing me."

Frank laughed. "But I mean, you miss your friends and stuff right? Your boyfriend?" As the last word came out of his mouth, he could have punched himself. Obvious, much?

But she didn't seem to notice. "I don't have a boyfriend," she stated simply. "And I don't miss my friends."

Frank shrugged. The mood in his room was too sombre. It didn't suit him. "Hold on, school uniform sucks. I gotta change."

Before Hayley could turn away, he'd thrown off his school shirt and was rummaging in his wardrobe for something else to wear.

Hayley couldn't help staring at his topless torso, covered in bruises yet still perfect. She bit her lip. Stop it, she told herself, stop perving...on the hottest guy you have ever seen.

"So, you wanna watch a movie? Gerard just lent me some of his horrors."

Hayley smiled, Frank's enthusiasm was catching. "I'd love to. Just warning you though, I can be a bit of a wimp sometimes."

"Well then, let's have a horror movie marathon! But first, lunch!"

----------

Hayley squeaked at the flood of blood, watching with avid fascination. Despite most of her face being buried in Frank's hoodie, she could see every detail from her current position.

Frank giggled, delighted. "Look at it go! You alright?" he added as an afterthought.

"I'm fine," she replied, clutching the thick fabric of Frank's hoodie a little tighter. "This is a really good movie though-ack!"

Frank laughed again, patting her on the head. She looked up, a mock-disgruntled look on her face. "I'm not a dog or something, Frank," she told him pertly.

"Yeah," he laughed, "but it's fun. And besides, I like dogs," he smiled, but looking the slightest bit uncomfortable.

"I can tell. You have stacks of dog food in your pantry, I'm assuming that's for them? Unless you eat dog food."

"Nah, I'm vegetarian, like you. Dogs eat meat!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," she said. She knew very well he was a vegetarian of course. But how scary would she seem, if she remembered every single bit of information about him?

"Well at least you don't have to cook dog food. Did you have to burn that pasta?"

"It's called Cajun." Frank said with as much dignity as he could muster. "I probably have some candy in my room somewhere. Wait right there," he ordered, jumping up.

"Alright," Hayley called after his retreating back. Was he regretting inviting her over? He'd seemed to be in an awful hurry to leave. Oh well, she thought. At least they were friends - sort of.