A Mother's Love

His lips press against mine again and I can’t help the butterflies that flood my stomach when I get around him. We’ve been together for about five months now and even though I was getting more comfortable with being around him, I still get jittery during moments like this. He was lying against me as we both were resting on my bed, the movie that we were watching got too boring so he wanted to heat up the moment between us, or more like, I wanted to heat up the moment.

My hand clutches his sweater to keep him from moving away because I couldn’t get enough of his lips and his taste, I want more of him every time we begin to explore more of each other. He didn’t like going too far though because we were at my house and no one in my household knew about my sexuality. He and I were too scared of what would happen if they did know.

Seth told me about what happened to him when he came out to his parents and I didn’t want the same fate. I know that I sound like a coward but I don’t want my mother or father to kick me out, I’d be heartbroken if it happened. I could only imagine how Seth felt when it happened to him but at the beginning of our relationship, even he supported my decision to keep our relationship a secret.

He didn’t want to see me hurt, I believe he was just scared that if my parents did kick me out that he’d lose me because I would think that he wasn’t worth it. He’s wrong; Seth is everything I ever wanted. He completes me. I would love to tell my parents about how much I love Seth but the fear of rejection that my parents might have due to me being a homosexual is what keeps me from confessing.

“What are you thinking about, Addison?” Seth’s voice broke me from my thoughts and I realize that I had zoned out during our kissing. A rarity that it would happen, since I could never get enough of his lips.

My muddy brown eyes connect with his forest green eyes and I shake my head, a smile overtaking my lips, “Nothing really, just can’t believe how lucky I am to have you.”

He chuckles, “It’s more like I’m the lucky one. You’re too good for me.”

“Nu-uh, you’re too good for me.” I fake a pout and turn my head from him to ignore any protests that usually follow.

“You’re too adorable,” he smiles, and began kissing the side of my neck that was exposed by my hoodie.

I inhale sharply because my neck was a very sensitive area and the softness of Seth’s lips could make me almost melt on contact. My hands come up to tangle in his hair and I urge him to run his lips over every inch of exposed skin. This was pure heaven for me – pure paradise.

I feel his lips curve up into a smirk when my hands tug at his roots, he stops in one area, the curve where my shoulder connects with my neck, and I know what was coming next. The wet muscle of his mouth runs over the section of my skin countless times in slow strokes until he starts sucking on the small amount of flesh. My eyes close tightly and I have to bite my lip to hold back any moans that try to work their way up my throat but even so, it doesn’t stop me from letting out a few squeaks.

After ruthlessly attacking the side of my neck, he leans back and I open my eyes to see him admiring his work. His eyes connect with mine again and he smiles softly, “I love hearing the noises you make. They’re cute, just like you.”

I feel my ears redden when he says that and I whine, “Don’t call me cute! Guys aren’t supposed to be cute.”

“But you are cute,” he chuckles, before resting his head against my chest. “I can’t get enough of these moments with you.”

“Me neither.” I smile as I run my hands through his blonde locks that almost reach down to his shoulders. His hair was so soft and smelled so amazing. “I want time to stop, for us, for this moment.”

He hums in agreement and replies, “You’re so cheesy.”

I scowl and softly slap his head, “You ruin the moment.”

He looks up at me with a lazy smile on his face, “Baby, I was just stating the obvious, besides I love cheese so I love when you say cheesy things.”

I lean in to peck his lips, smiling. I was about to reply but the knock on my door startles both Seth and I. He jumps up off me and moves to the other side of the bed, leaving a large gap between us while I pull up my hoodie. The door opens seconds later and I was so thankful that Seth turned off the lights when we started watching the movie, it wasn’t completely dark but my mother wouldn’t be able to see the redness on my face or Seth’s from embarrassment.

Her head pops in when she opens the door halfway, allowing a little bit of light from the hallway to flood into my room. It still wasn’t enough to expose Seth or me. The brown eyes that I got from her, connect with mine, “Boys, I just came to say that dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Are you staying for dinner, Seth? I made a special vegetarian dish for you in case you are.”

I glance over at Seth to see him nodding, “Sure, Mrs. Montgomery, I could never refuse your cooking.”

She smiles, “You flatter me, but thank you, Seth. You boys go ahead and get washed up, okay? I’m going ahead and set the table so come on down before the food gets cold.”

“Okay mom, we’ll be right down,” I reply before she nods and closes the door. I listen to her steps across the hardwood floor of the upstairs as she descended the stairs. I sighed in relief that she hadn’t saw anything, “That was close.”

Seth sighs to himself, “Yeah, that’s why I don’t like kissing or cuddling with you when we’re at your house. My aunt’s used to it at her house now so I haven’t got anything to worry about there.”

I reach for his hand, “I’m sorry. It’s the raging hormones that teenage boys have that won’t allow me to stay away from you.”

He chuckles and squeeze my hand, “But still, put your hormones on hold because I don’t want you to end up hurt due to our relationship. You can take your horny frustrations out on me at my house where it’s safe to.”

“I know…” I sighs sadly, “I wish I could just tell my parents that you’re my boyfriend and then we wouldn’t have to worry about getting found out.”

Seth was quiet for a moment, just staring at our hands that were starting to sweat due to our warmth being combined, “Do you think that your mom would be okay with us? I mean, she seems to like me a lot and I really doubt she could stay mad at you or kick you out since you’re her baby.”

I shrug unsurely, “I… I don’t know.”

Seth shrugs in return, “Well… it’s your decision when to tell them or if you want to tell them. I’m not going to push you to do anything because I don’t want to lose you but she might be accepting to the idea. I mean, you’re her only child and unlike me, you don’t have anyone to be compared to. She might not think you’re a failure or a disappointment since you have no other siblings to take your place.”

The way Seth’s parents did him was so unfair and ridiculous. My heart aches in my chest every time I think about how they did him. Sure, he was different from his older brothers because he liked guys but really, that wasn’t a terrible thing. His oldest brother used to be involved in drugs and I know that that’s a lot worse than loving someone of the same sex.

He stares down at our hands with a face void of expression but I knew what was he was trying to fight against. The stray tear that ran down his cheek betrays him. I quickly wipes it away from his cheek with the crook of my index finger and place a kiss on his cheek. Seth’s head came up and it broke my heart to see how sad he still was over what happened with his parents. I wish I could just tell them off or punch them for forsaking him.

“The way they did you, I wish I could just…” I stutter for a moment because I couldn’t find the right word for what I wanted to do to his parents until I just settle with, “slap them and show them just how amazing you were really are.”

He smiles weakly but nods nonetheless, he leans towards me and places a long kiss on my lips that was full of gratitude. “Thank you, Addi.”

“You’re welcome, Seth.” I stand up from my bed and pull him up with me, “Now let’s go and have some of my mom’s famous cooking.”

Seth chuckles, “Of course, I love your mom’s cooking. It’s so much better than my aunt’s, the only thing she can cook decently is macaroni and cheese but half the time, the cheese is burnt to the bowl.”

I laugh, “Maybe you should move in with me and my mom so you won’t starve or die of food poisoning.”

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer,” he replies with a grin, opening my bedroom door and leading me downstairs.

Before we reach the kitchen, I tug him against me and out of the sight of my mother, who was humming softly to herself as she poured our drinks. Seth looks at me questionably at first when I smile weakly and quietly speak, “I will tell my mom… soon. Just hope that she doesn’t turn her back on me, or us.”

He squeezes my hand that was still in his, whispering, “I’ll stay by your side even if she does. And it’s really up to you, I don’t mind remaining a secret.”

“I do. I don’t want to have to hide our relationship forever. I don’t want you to think that I’m ashamed of this,” I kiss his hand that’s still holding with mine.

“But I don’t think that. I know the reason why you’re not saying anything, and I know how difficult it’ll be if you do tell her or your dad about us and they reject the idea.” He kisses my forehead, “But don’t think that I regret being your secret either.”

I glance at my mother to see that she’s turned towards the sink with her back turned towards us. I return my gaze to Seth to see a small smile on his face. I lean up to kiss him one last time until dinner is over and we’re out of my mother’s sight, “I… I’ll tell her soon.”