Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

"Okay, okay," Bam was pacing back and forth in front of the stairs that lead down to the pirate bar. Everyone else was seated around the large table. "We need to assign jobs."

"Jesus it's a party, all you have to do is tell people to show up." Dunn noted as he rocked back on the two legs of his chair, his hands interlaced behind his head.

"You need some planning," Ape contradicted him. "Last thing I need is my kids running amoc and someone getting hurt."

"Isn't planning always your job?" Raab whined, their little family meeting seemed to be cramping the boys style.

Ape's voice raised, "why is it always my job to do things around here?"

Bam held his hand up as he glanced at Ape, "because you know we'll fuck it up Ape."

She shook her head. "No Bam, you have to do this one. I just spent all morning outside picking up your clothes."

Ferin glanced at April. If she had known she would have either stopped her or helped her. "I asked you not to."

Ape sighed and shook her head. "Sweetie if I hadn't, they would have stayed out there until they disintegrated, and that would take longer than I'll be alive."

Bam had completely ignored what they were saying, or he truly didn't care. Ferin guessed it was the latter when he spoke.

"Alright, Ape you're nominated, we'll be outside drinking."

The rest of the boys stood up, intent on following Bam out onto the deck but Ferin reached out and grabbed Bam by the back of his shirt. "I'll plan it," she offered.

Bam stopped and looked at her. "Good," he smiled then gestured towards the sliding glass doors. "We'll be outside drinking."

Ferin shook her head and tugged him backwards. "Nah uh, I may help plan this little thing but ya'll will have your own little jobs."

Defeated, Bam sighed and signaled for the rest of the boys to sit back down, and they did. Ferin began running a mental list through her mind as everyone waited on her. "Alright," she ran her fingers through her hair. "Bam, Jenn, Tony...you three can be in charge of inviting people."

Bam was satisfied with their relatively easy job and he ushered, Jenn, Tony and Riley out onto the deck. He figured he could have it all figured out with one or two phone calls, and some flyers.

"Raab and Rake, you two go with them, and find out who they're inviting, because you two are in charge of the transportation."

"What are we suppose to use?" Rake asked as he stood up and pushed his chair in.

Ferin grinned, "use that ghetto ass limo if you have to."

They boys laughed and headed out onto the deck.

"What duties would the bald man posses?" DiCo asked.

Ferin thought for a moment. She wasn't sure about this one but someone had to do it. "DiCo, you and Dunn are in charge of the booze, and no, there is no drinking it before you get back here."

"What about me?" Johnny asked from underneath Tash, who was sitting on his lap.

"I need you to call Glomb and Cartz, we need some picnic tables, lawn chairs, that sort of thing."

"And me?" Tash asked.

Ferin thought for a moment. "You and I are going to be in charge of the food, and Ape and Phil, you two can be in charge of the decorations."

Ape and Phil both nodded, then Ape suddenly held up her hand stopping everyone's thoughts and movements. "This party is going to be outside mostly right?"

Ferin glanced at Natasha for help, but she never helped.

"I'll try to keep it outside Ape," Ferin offered her what she could.

Ape looked her in the eyes. "Well I'm counting on you."

Ferin cringed, now she had to play babysitter. Out of options, she stood up and sighed. "Alright, let's get a party goin."

***************************************************************

Ferin pushed their cart down the isle of the Brandywine Gourmet Grocery store along side Tash who was reading stuff off of their check list.

"So it sounds like the only things we need to get now are the hot dogs, hot dog buns, hamburgers and hamburger buns."

Ferin nodded and followed Tash around the store. When they were done, they loaded up the hummer and headed back to the house. Bam, Jenn, and Tony were true to their word, they were outside on the deck drinking.

"Did you invite people, or should I expect us to be the only ones here?" Ferin was leaning in the door way of the sliding glass doors.

Bam looked up and grinned. "They are on their way."

"Do I dare ask who they are?"

"Well, a pool party isn't a pool party without some playboy bunnies, so Hef has graciously allowed a few to fly out here for that. Raab and Rake are going to pick them up at the airport. I called Geoff Rowley, Kevin Staab, Compton Ass Terry, Bucky Lasek and Mike Vallely, Tony and I will pick them up at the airport...."

"That it?" Ferin asked cautiously.

Bam took a sip of beer and grinned that devilish grin. "DiCo and Dunn just finished posting flyers all over town."

"Oh dear god," Ferin muttered, Ape was going to have a shit fit.

Sighing she turned around and headed back outside to see Tash, Johnny, Riley, Glomb and Cartz who were busy building picnic tables. She was amazed that everybody was actually doing what they were told.

"Are Ape and Phil home yet?"

"Nope," Tash replied.

Ferin was hopeful that Ape would come across one of the posters so that she wouldn't have to break the news to Ape herself.

After helping them out for awhile, Tash and Ferin headed back into the house to prepare the food that they could. Phil had offered to run the BBQ so that stuff would be up to him. Just as they were finishing up, Dunn and DiCo returned from their second trip to town with the alcohol. There were a few random bottles missing from various boxes, but rather than argue, Ferin went to work placing them into large coolers filled with ice.

By the time she was done, Ape and Phil had returned with various objects. They then worked together to set up the tiki candles in the ground around the backyard, as well as solar powered lights that you stick into the ground. Phil had also decided to buy some cheap lawn chairs and they spread them out around the pool deck. Ferin, Tash and Ape then stood back to take it all in.

"Looks good," Ape smiled.

Tash nodded, "yeah, now we just have to get Phil set on the BBQ."

Ape agreed and followed Natasha up the stairs leaving Ferin behind.

"Where do you want these?" Johnny asked as him and Cartz hauled a picnic table towards her.

She pointed to a grassy area near the pool. "Over there," she paused and looked around at the space. "How many do you have?"

Cartz set his end of the table down and turned to her. "Three done and Glomb's finishing the last one. Is that enough?"

Ferin nodded, "yeah, along with all these lawn chairs that should be fine. If not, they can stand."

Johnny and Cartz headed back around to the front of the house.

"Hey Bam!"

After a few moments Bam leaned over the railing on the deck, "what?"

"What are we going to use for music?"

"Shit," he obviously hadn't thought of that. "What if we just use the death metal jukebox?"

"But then we have to leave the glass doors open, which would mean you'll have people going in and out of your house."

He stood up straight and waved his beer bottle in the air, signaling that hed had a great idea. "I'll just get a live band then."

Ferin's eyes widened, "not only do we not have a stage," she reminded him. "But who are you planning on asking to play?"

Bam leaned against the railing again and thought about it. "Let me just make a couple phone calls," and he turned and walked away.

Sighing in frustration Ferin made her way back to the front of the house. Now she was going to have to confront Glomb about a stage. She glanced at her watch, and they only had a few hours before people started arriving.