Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

"Raab that's horrible!" Ferin and Tash laughed as they stared at the creation Raab had painted on the bathroom door.

"You know what," Raab was laughing too. "You can kiss my ass. It's a work of art."

Ferin cocked her head slightly to the side to study it from a different angle. But it didn't help, the image was still a very unattractive, un-proportionate naked woman.

After the adult store, Bam had made them stop at the paint store again where they purchased a ton of different colors of neon paint, and more black lights. Everyone on the RV had been assigned a different section to paint. Ferin and Tash finished the back bedroom, Raab was working on the bathroom door and kitchen. Dunn was painting the table while Johnny painted the other wall. Bam was working on the ceiling which was difficult due to the RV bouncing up and down as they traveled.

The end result was an extremely dark RV even in the daylight. The entire thing was painted black, then they painted the neon paint over top. Dunn's black and neon green checkered table hurt the eyes, but it would be even worse with all the black lights on.

"Well it looks better," Bam muttered. He was standing in the middle of the isle looking around. He had black paint halfway up his arms. It was a good thing he changed into some less expensive clothes first. Ferin shook her head as she took the sight in. In all honesty, it looked worse. Everything was black. Even the window in the kitchen, Raab painted it along with the sink, counter top, and cupboards.

"Ferin doesn't like it," Dunn muttered. He must have been reading her expression.

She looked at him, then at Bam who was now looking at her.

"You don't like it?" he asked.

"I never said I didn't. It's just...I don't know...very dark."

Bam grinned. "Well wait till it gets dark outside. Then we can turn on these black lights and the place will light up like a fuckin christmas tree."

That she didn't doubt that one bit. They'd used all the paint they'd bought. Other than what the other RV had taken.

The walkie talkie sitting on the counter squealed and made a fuzzy noise before a clear voice came through. "This is ahhh Jimmy Pop from Jimmy Pop's love machine, you there Bam Bam...over."

Bam laughed and picked up the walkie talkie,. Pressing the button on the side he spoke into it. "Love machine? That's kind of disturbing seeing as how there aren't any chicks in your RV."

It was silent for a moment before it crackled again. "We have a chick."

Bam grinned and held it close to his mouth again. "Rake doesn't count."

The walkie talkie crackled a few more times and clicked on and off, between the chaos that was clearly going on in the other RV they caught Rake calling Bam an asshole.

"Bam," Jimmy Pop had got control of the walkie talkie again. "Can we please find some female company."

"What kind of company?" Dunn snatched it away from Bam.

"Fast company preferably, fuck any kind of company...you try riding in one of these things with Vito."

Bam glanced at his watch. They'd been traveling for close to two and a half hours, which meant that they should be rolling into Bedford Pennsylvania any minute. Dunn handed it back to him.

"Yeah man, I'm sure we can find some hotties when we stop....over and out."

And ladies they did find, or more accurately, the ladies found them. Some how, somewhere, someone had gotten wind that the CKY crew and friends were traveling via RV. They learned later that someone had spotted them in Harrisburg and phoned the radio station. The word had since then been passed on. They managed to have lunch in a packed little restaurant and they were now standing outside the RV's signing autographs and chatting idly with various people.

Ferin was standing beside Natasha when Bam placed his hands on her hips from behind, his body pressing against hers. He nuzzled her hair aside with his face as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You ready to go?"

She turned her head slightly to look at him and he kissed her softly and quickly. Her heart was racing. The last thing he or she needed was for someone to have got a picture of that. Let alone everyone else seeing.

He laughed softly. "Don't worry nobody saw," he grinned. "Though they are going to know damn well one day just how much I want you."

Ferin blushed and glanced at Tash who pretended to not being paying any attention. She knew she'd hear about it from her later. They were just about to head out when Ferin heard the unmistakable brief siren that signaled that a cop car was near.

Bam let go of her and they turned around to see a cop car pull up behind them. The cop that emerged had hard lines plaguing his face making him look extremely aggressive. One of those cops who looked like they didn't put up with any shit.

"You aware that you can't park here?"

Ferin saw Bam stiffen his posture and she jumped in before he said something dumb. "We didn't know that, we're leaving right away."

"I know you," he nodded his head towards Bam and the crew that was now standing behind him.

"So what if you do?" Bam asked.

The cops eyebrows raised in curiosity. Ferin could tell he was just waiting for Bam to say the wrong thing so he could lock him up.

"My son happens to be a fan of you shit," he started. "And personally I think it's sick."

Bam was about to speak but the cop held up a massive hand. "So I'm warning you, don't start any shit here because I have no problem arresting your ass."

"You fuckin serious?" Glomb asked from behind Bam.

"We haven't done anything," Raab protested through a laugh.

"I'm serious. One of you so much as crosses a cross walk without waiting for the signal, and I'll take you down."

Bam laughed and Ferin knew it was going to get bad. "We're fucking standing here minding our own business, and you come up here and get in my face."

Jimmy Pop was now tugging on Bam's shirt sleeve trying to pull him away. Ferin noticed the flash of fire ignite in the officers eye's and decided it was time they get out of there. She stepped in front of Bam and looked the cop in the eyes. "We're sorry, and we're going so don't worry about us."

The cop looked like he was going to continue but he didn't. Instead he patiently waited while they cleared the sidewalk and headed into their RV's to be on their way. As well as a few extra ladies tagging alone in the other RV.

"Fuckin prick," Bam muttered, he and Ferin were the last to climb into the RV.

She was standing on the step when she turned to look at him, shaking her head slightly. "You could have just said that you were sorry and that we were on our way."

He glanced up and locked eyes with her through his sunglasses. "Yeah I could have. But we weren't doing shit, he didn't have a right to get up in my face."

Rather than arguing Ferin turned and headed into the RV. Bam was right behind her.

"We need to stop at some little convenience store," Tash stated as Ferin sat down at the table beside her.

"What for?" she asked curiously.

"I need something to drink, and I'm sure we could find like a pack of cards or a board game or something."

Ferin laughed, "a board game? Tash how old are you?"

She grinned, "oh come on who doesn't like to play board games?"

"Shoulda brought my skateboard," Bam muttered as he sat down beside Johnny and across from the girls.

"I bet Glomb has an extra board kickin around," Dunn stated as he lit up another cigarette, then placing the nearly empty pack back into his back pocket. Ferin guessed that he'd have no problem stopping somewhere either to get more smokes.

Bam picked up the walkie talkie and talked to Glomb briefly and to his relief, Glomb said he had two or three boards in his truck in case of an emergency such as this. The only problem was that Phil and Ape had the truck and they were far ahead of them.

Bam phoned Ape on his cell and they planned to meet at the first roadside gas station they could find. When they got there, Glomb graciously got Bam a board and Bam wasted no time in asking the guy working there if he knew of any skate parks nearby. Fortunately the kid was a fan and was able to point Bam in the right direction. It was a little off their track but a small diversion was alright with everyone. They all got to sit outside and talk amongst themselves as Bam and Glomb skated around.

"Bam are we staying in another hotel tonight?" Ape asked him.

He jumped off his board and quickly stopped it with his foot. "No," he was shaking his head. "We'll stay in these."

"What about Phil and I?"

Bam shrugged as he placed his foot on the tail of the board causing the front end to kick up so he could grab it without bending over. "You guys can go to a hotel if you want."

"Where are you guys going?"

It was the girl Ferin had come to know as Bella. She was tall with long dark brown hair, piercing eyes, a nose stud, and the occasional tattoo. She seemed to be the object of Jimmy Pop's attention.

"To Peoria Illinois," Rake filled her in.

"What's there?" it was Kendra. She had short black hair with red streaks. She was shorter than Bella and sported almost every piercing imaginable as well as a fair amount of tattoos.

"CKY and Avenged Sevenfold are playing there," Dunn answered as he offered her a cigarette. She took it then borrowed his lighter.

"That's awesome." The last girl Ferin was even a little more skeptical of. She'd had her eye on Bam the whole time. Through listening to the boys she'd learned that the girl's name was Tiffany. She had long dark brown hair that was sleekly pulled back into a pony tail. Her sunglasses sat on the top of her head and she kept rubbing her lips together making sure her lip gloss stayed evenly coated. Ferin didn't know her, and already she didn't like her. And that thought alarmed her. She was never quick to judge, and here she was vowing never to befriend this woman. Her eyes widened as the word 'jealousy' ran through her mind. She glanced at Bam just in time to see him wipe out and hard. He laid on the ground for a moment before slowly pulling himself up. He picked up the board and headed towards everyone.

"Bam you okay?" Ape asked him worriedly, he nodded and sat down beside Jimmy Pop and Bella.

He nodded and with bent arms pushed his arms back causing his shoulder blades to stick out. "I'm gonna be sore tomorrow."

"I give a pretty good massage," Tiffany winked.

Bam grinned. "I may have to have one of them."

Ferin nearly laughed out loud apparently her being a registered massage therapist didn't mean too much. Oh well, he could have her.

"So are we going then?" Glomb stopped and picked up his board.

"Yeah it's another good two hours to Pittsburgh from here," Evil Jared stated.

"Yes Bam can we pleeease go. I'm sick of all this skateboarding, it's all you do," Vito whined. The only reason he'd kept quiet thus far was due to the beer that Rake had given him to shut up.

Bam felt an inclination to keep boarding just to piss his uncle off but he couldn't do it. He hurt, and he was pretty sure he'd be feeling it even more later on. "Alright lets go. "He got up slowly and headed for the vehicles. He was definitely going to drink away his pain tonight.