Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

"Awwww look at these two!" Dunn was standing at the end of the bed grinning when Ferin opened her eyes. He was fully dressed and looking good as new as he ate what appeared to be a bacon and egger.

"What time is it?" she mumbled when she realized she was still in Bam's arms.

Raab now stood beside Dunn sipping coffee, he looked a little worse for the ware. "It's almost noon."

Ferin sat up and Bam rolled over and groaned. From her position on the bed she could see through the windshield at the front of the RV. Her eyebrows furrowed together. "We're moving?"

Dunn and Raab both laughed and sat back down at the table. Ferin quietly and carefully crawled off the bed not to wake Tash and Johnny. "Did you buy us breakfast?"

"No," Raab sated firmly. "It's your fault you two were too busy getting it on to come for breakfast."

"No one was awake enough to get it on," Bam grumbled as he padded the few feet into the kitchen area, leaning against the counter and watching them eat breakfast.

"Where are we headed?" Ferin asked as she sank down on the bench chair beside Dunn.

"Fuck if I know," Dunn mumbled as he finished his coffee, he was too into reading the vehicle section of the paper he had to have purchased when they went for breakfast.

Ferin rolled her eyes and Bam passed her a crumpled up map that was sitting on the counter. Ape had bought them one before they left West Chester in case of. She didn't want anything happening to her kids.

"She mapped it out for us?" Ferin basically asked herself rather than anyone else as she stared at the pen marks etched into the map. She looked up at Raab and Dunn. "When did we leave Pittsburgh?"

"I don't know," Dunn muttered quickly.

Ferin rolled her eyes and glanced at Raab, who shrugged. "I don't know, two hours ago."

"So it'll be another half hour before we get to Akron Ohio." Bam did the math in his head as he leaned over her studying the map.

Ferin nodded and folded the map up neatly and passed it to Bam who proceeded to toss it onto the counter causing it to unfold again away. "So where is that chick?" She finally realized that the girl on the bus the night before was no longer there.

Her question was answered when Kendra came out of the washroom, closing the door behind her. Bam stared at her intently and she stared back, finally cluing into what he was thinking. "Jesus Bam I didn't shit in your RV, I heard about your little rule." She held up her hair brush in emphasis. "I was fixing my hair."

Ferin giggled as she watched Bam's expression go from stern to amused. He was astonished that she had known what he was thinking.

Kendra sat back down beside Raab and stared intently at Dunn. "You find anything worth reading?"

He never looked up at her but he smiled none the less. "Yeah," he placed his finger on the paper where he was reading. "Thirty year old, blue eyed blond, fit, loves the outdoors, lookin to settle down."

Everyone laughed, and Ferin nudged his elbow with her own. "You're not looking to settle down are you Dunn?"

He shrugged his shoulders and glanced up at Bam. "She'd be worth trying out a few times."

"Oh jesus," Ferin rolled her eyes as she stood up. "You talk about chicks like they're vehicles."

Dunn grinned and leaned back into the seat. "Oh come on look at her, she's hot."

Bam, Raab and Kendra all leaned over the table to look at the picture in the personals section of the paper.

"Shit," Raab laughed. "She is hot."

"Nice work Dunn," Bam grinned.

"She's thirty," Kendra stated flatly as she sat back.

"So?" Dunn inquired as he took a sip of his coffee.

"She's old."

Ferin glanced back at Kendra, then to Bam. "Dunn you don't want her," Ferin paused and crouched down to open her bag. "What if she lays the smack down, and doesn't let you do anything?"

Dunn considered this for a moment and nodded slightly. "True...but she might be worth it."

Raab looked horrified. "Man, find a younger one."

Dunn laughed as he folded up the paper and tossed it aside. "Ahhh maybe I'll give her a call later."

"In the meantime you can use your sheep," Bam informed him.

Raab grinned and fished under the table before pulling his half deflated blow up doll up so that it was sitting beside him. "You really should have got one of these."

"You didn't give me a damn choice," Dunn retorted.

Kendra simply stared at the doll. "You into all that stuff?"

Raab turned to her, his smile still as big as ever. "Hey she works."

Ferin raised her eyebrows and held up her hand. "Raab we don't need to know."

"You should have stayed in the other RV then."

This caught Raab, Dunn and Bam's attention.

"Why's that?" Dunn asked.

Kendra glanced up at him. "Because they were discussing, hot oil and a threesome last night."

The guys eyes widened. "A threesome?" Dunn repeated.

She nodded. "Yeah your friend Jimmy and Bella and Tiffany."

"Shiiiiit," Raab groaned and leaned back into his seat.

Dunn scrambled for the walkie talkie which was on the counter beside Bam. He turned it on and tried pressing the button but got no signal.

"It's probably dead," Ferin muttered.

Dunn glanced up at Bam. "Did we bring the charger?"

Bam laughed. "Fuck no, it was Ape's idea to bring the damn things."

Ferin felt the RV slow down as she glanced towards the windshield again, catching the sign saying that they were entering Akron, Ohio. "What are we doing today?"

"Driving mostly," Bam replied as he glanced over at her. She was sitting on the end of the bed, her clean clothes in her lap. He smiled, she looked good even in the morning.

Her smile changed to a look of pain as she turned around. "Thanks alot Tash," she laughed.

Tash sat up, and quite frankly looked like hell. "What did I do?"

Ferin playfully slapped her on the leg. "Just kicked me, no worries there buddy, I'll be alright."

Tash laughed and laid back down. Bam motioned for Ferin to move over and she watched him curiously as he did. He took a run at the bed, jumping onto it and barely missing Tash, but nailing Johnny who groaned in agony.

"Knoxville," Bam growled in his ear. "Get the fuck up."

Tash moved out of the way and Johnny tried to push Bam off.

"Bam where are we going?" Dunn yelled back at him. "The driver guy wants to know."

"Just tell him to find a restaurant," Bam yelled back as he crawled off Knoxville and towards Ferin. "I'm fuckin hungry."

The driver found a fairly nice restaurant and soon they were joined by the other RV and Ape and Phil.

"About god damned time you take us to find some food Bam I swear yas tryin to kill us," Vito muttered rather clearly as he climbed outta the other RV.

Raab laughed as he fell in step with Bam's uncle. They weren't waiting for the group. "Damn Vito we just ate breakfast a couple hours ago."

Jimmy emerged looking rather pleased, along with Bella who was still clung to his arm, and Tiffany who made her way directly to Bam. Ferin watched as she clung to Bam's arm, chattering about something happily as he looked down at her.

"Ferin you hungry? Or wanna go shopping?"

She was pulled out of her fixation on Bam and Tiffany and turned to see Tash standing there waiting for an answer.

"Let's go shopping," she glanced around their large group looking for April. "Ape you wanna come?"

"Sure," April smiled as she made her way towards them, "and we have the truck." She grinned.

Everyone else headed inside the restaurant for lunch, but Tash and Ferin climbed into Glomb's truck with Ape. They hit a few clothing stores and bought a few things. Ape found an antique store and they shopped in there for a while.

Ape was depressed that she couldn't buy anything. Not because of price, but because it definitely wouldn't last long in Bam's house. Especially if they found out that she truly treasured it.

"Where else should we go?" Ferin held the truck door open for Tash who climbed in.

"I spotted a grocery store," Ape said as she did up her seatbelt. "I should stop there and grab Phil and I something to drink for the drive to Columbus."

Tash scooted into the middle of the seat and did up her buckle. "How long does it take to get there?"

April replied with a sigh. "About two hours and fifteen minutes."

"I should call Trace," Ferin looked at Tash. "He should still be in Columbus."

"Is that your brother?" Ape asked as she maneuvered the truck back onto the busy road and in the direction she hoped the grocery store was in.

"Yeah," Ferin glanced out the window, watching the people pass by on the sidewalk. "He had a motorcross race there last night, and today if he made it in the top five yesterday."

Ape glanced over at her briefly. "If he's anything like you, I'd like to meet him."

Ferin smiled at Ape and returned her attention to the road. When they got to the grocery store they bought a few things and hurried back to the truck to head back to the restaurant. But when they got back, both RV's were gone.

"What the hell," Tash muttered as Ape parked where she was parked before.

"Did they just leave us?" Ape asked as if the girls knew the answer, but Ferin guessed that's probably what went down.

She phoned Bam's cell and he answered it a ring or two later. "Yeah?"

"Where the hell are ya?"

Bam laughed into the phone. The situation was clearly more funny to them. "You guys took to long so we left."

"Well gee thanks."

"Well it's not like we left you without a vehicle," Bam reminded her. And at least that much was true. They would have been a hell of a lot worse off if they had decided to walk to go shopping because the guys definitely would have taken the truck to.

"You on your way to Columbus?" Ferin asked him as she reached around her body with her free hand and did up her seatbelt.

"Yeah, we only left like twenty minutes ago."

Ferin nodded as if she could see him. "Alright, we'll see you there."

There was a pause for a moment, and Ferin heard Tiffany giggle before Bam replied. "Yeah see you there."