Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

"Oooh I'll be so glad when we get home," Ape beamed. "Then I can just lay back and relax for a little while."

"Yeah," Ferin smiled. She knew Ape needed a break. She'd been run ragged since they left West Chester.

Ferin was glad that they were back too. Though the ride home wasn't quite as eventful it had it's own setbacks. For instance, they were now short one RV. The other one had been set on fire the night of the concert. They now had everyone from the other RV packed into Bam's RV. Glomb had taken a call from work and took his truck and left earlier. So Ape and Phil were now back in the RV with everyone else. They'd also lost Jimmy Pop. He'd become so enchanted with Bella that they dropped him and her off at her house so she could drive him back to West Chester herself.

The last drawback was that Ferin and Bam had experienced their first fight. Ferin still felt bad. She'd been drinking and she'd kind of flown off the handle when Bam told her about Jenn's visit.

"We're home," Raab announced loudly.

The RV rolled swiftly up the snake run driveway until Castle Bam was in sight.

"Ohhhh," Dunn was driving the RV and he tapped the break long before he needed to. "What the hell?"

Bam suddenly jumped up from the bed in the back to look out the window by the table as the RV rolled to a stop. He never said a word, he simply bolted out of the RV with everyone behind him.

Ferin heard Ape gasp and when the yard and house came into full view she understood why. DiCo hadn't mowed the lawn, there were a ton of cars that no one knew who they belonged to, the hummer that Bam had thought was fixed, had in fact been turned into a large ball of duct tape, and upon further inspection the back yard was trashed.

They entered the house cautiously after realizing the door was left unlocked and discovered the house was full of sleeping, or rather passed out people.

"Oh my god," Ape whispered as she looked around.

Ferin guessed that Bam would have been fine with it if it hadn't of been for the two girls asleep in his bed wearing his T-shirts and boxers.

"Alright," he came back out of his room and dropped his bag. "Everyone get the fuck up!"

A few people managed to wake up on their own, the others needed help, and Dunn, Raab and Rake were happy to oblige.

Soon DiCo appeared at the top of the stairs. "What the hell is going on?" He stopped rubbing his eyes and simply stared at the returned travelers from half way down the stairs.

"What the fuck is this?" Bam gestured around the main floor of the house at all the people putting on their shoes and leaving.

"I thought you weren't gonna be home until tomorrow," DiCo protested. "I was going to clean it up."

"Yeah right," Ape muttered, DiCo stepped out of the way to let her and Phil up the stairs.

"Well you need to clean it up now," Bam growled.

This was the first time she'd actually seen Bam upset with one of his friends.

"I'll help." Ferin dropped her bag near the pool table and headed down to the pirate bar in search of a broom only to find a bigger mess down there.

"Oooh Bam is pissed."

Ferin turned around to see Tash standing there. "Hand me one of those brooms." Ferin handed her one of them and Tash returned upstairs.

"I'll help get people out of here."

Ferin recognized the girl standing near the bottom of the stairs as Missy, the one Bam had cheated on Jenn with.

Brushing it from her mind Ferin nodded and reached for an empty garbage bag to start picking up empty beer cans. A couple hours later after supper everyone was sprawled out on the floor and the love seats watching TV. Ape and Phil had went to bed and Evil Jared and Vito had went home only half an hour before.

Bam sat down in his recliner and pulled Ferin down onto his lap. Ferin relaxed into his body as she took his hands in hers and wrapped their arms around her waist.

"What are we watching?" Raab asked impatiently as Dunn began flipping through the movie channels again.

"Would you just pick something?" Natasha laughed from her position on the farthest love seat with Johnny.

"Oooh Grind is on," Johnny noticed. "We could watch Bam's pro acting performance."

Bam groaned. "Let's not."

Ferin laughed softly. "Lets."

Bam's warm lips touched her shoulder and nibbled all the way to her neck. He nuzzled his cheek against hers and she tilted her head slightly allowing him to nibble along the length of her neck. Ferin closed her eyes. She'd never felt so relaxed in her entire life. It felt like she was suppose to be exactly where she was, right at this time.

"Mmm, you tired babe?" he asked when she tried slowly opening her eyes again.

"Mm-hhmm." She managed as she closed her eyes again. He kissed her temple softly and she drifted off to sleep only to awaken what seemed like moments later to a scream.

"What the hell?" she heard DiCo mumble from his position on the floor. The culprit was Natasha. Ferin glanced at the TV screen to see that her and Johnny were watching a scary movie.

"Come on Tash," Ferin groaned.

"Ooohhh geeez." Tash threw a pillow and instead of hitting Ferin it hit Bam and woke him up.

"Why don't you two go to bed?"

"Yes, then I can have the chair," DiCo groaned.

Dunn was sprawled out fast asleep on the other love seat and Raab was asleep on the floor by the coffee table. Rake had apparently went to bed.

"Bed?" Ferin asked Bam who was only half awake. He nodded.

Ferin slowly climbed off him and pulled him up by the hand. They headed down the stairs carefully and into Bam's room. He closed the door behind him and Ferin automatically headed to the left side of the bed and laid down. No sooner than she hit the pillows she was fast asleep.

Stripping down to his boxers he crawled into bed beside her. Turning on his side he propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. She was on her back which he had discovered was rare for her. Her hair was tangled in a pale cloud around the pillow. She hadn't even had time to cover up. She was wearing a pair of satin PJ pants and one of Dunn's sweaters that Bam guessed she had stole.

Bam reached for the blankets and pulled them up. She murmured in her sleep and rolled onto her side towards him. He snuggled close and slipped his arm around her waist. She fit so perfectly against him and that made it that much easier for him to fall asleep.

The next morning Ferin awoke to a very heavy weight slamming down on her side, the smell of smoke, loud screaming noises and bright lights. She heard Bam groan and stir beside her but neither of them could move because the weight on top of them wouldn't budge.

"Morning Bam Bam."

Ferin groaned and buried her head in her pillow, but not before mumbling, "Knoxville get the hell off."

"You're a dick you know that," Bam stated as he attempted to shove Johnny off the mattress and ramp onto the floor when the smoke alarm started going off because of the fireworks.

"Remembered you pulled the fireworks deal on Phil and Ape and figured it was time you got a taste of your own medicine," Johnny said proudly as he finally stood up.

Raab appeared in the doorway clearly confused. "What the fuck are you up to a friggen six in the morning?"

Bam raised his head off the pillow and glared at Knoxville. "You've got to be kidding me, is it really only six in the morning?"

"Yeah, and we're wasting precious daylight, let's roll." With that said he left the room taking Raab with him.

Ferin couldn't stand the beeping from the smoke detector any longer and she got up, waving her pillow in front of it until it finally finished screeching.

"What could Knoxville possibly be up to this morning?" Bam asked himself rather than Ferin.

Ferin shrugged and tossed the pillow to her side of the bed. "All I know is that you need a new mattress."

Bam laughed. "Yeah I totally agree. I was actually thinking about that. I'm gonna switch Phil and Ape rooms, they can move down here and we'll take the one by the stairs going down to the pirate bar."

"Well tell Ape," Ferin smiled when Tash leaned in the door.

"Hey you two coming?"

"Where are we going?" Ferin asked.

"We need help moving." Her friend crossed her arms and leaned against the door jam.

"Moving?" Bam repeated as he pulled himself up from the mattress on the floor.

"Yeah," Tash smiled. "Remember the house Johnny and I bought, well today is possession day."

Ferin grinned. "Excellent."

"How can you go from being tired, to being excited about having to work?" Bam yawned.

"It's not work, it'll be fun," Tash promised.

Ferin quickly got dressed and met Tash and Johnny upstairs by the pool table. They were waiting on Bam who insisted on showering first. When he finally emerged he still didn't look happy.

"What are we going to drive?" Bam asked curiously.

Ferin finally remembered the hummer. "Oh."

"Knoxville let's take the lambo and go to the dealership."

"What are we going to do there?" Johnny asked curiously as be began following Bam to the door.

"Buy a new fuckin' hummer," Bam growled as they headed out the front door.

"And we'll go see if we can borrow DiCo's bronco." Tash smiled and bounded up the stairs.

Ferin waited a few moments and soon Tash was back with the keys.

"Let's go check it out," she smiled.