Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

"Hey Rake, babe you ready to rock and roll?"

Rake appeared from the kitchen eating an apple. "I need about half an hour."

Ferin was tying her hair up into a half pony tail, nodding at Rake as she tucked the blond bangs that fell loose behind her ears. "Alright."

She then bounded up the stairs two at a time from the pirate bar to the living room where Phil was sitting quietly on one of the couches petting Bam's two cats Trouble and Mischief. Two cats Ferin oddly enough hadn't even really noticed.

"Ferin!"

Startled, she stopped and lifted her sunglasses and slid them to the top of her head. She stared up at Natasha who was leaning over the railing upstairs holding two shirts over the banister. "Which one? Or should I bring both?"

Ferin studied them over. "Why would you need both? We're only going for one night."

Natasha smirked and pulled the shirts back over the edge. "Come on Ferin, we need comfy clothes, shopping clothes, party clothes...."

Ferin guessed Tash would've continued had she not started laughing. "I guess I better be packing more than one outfit then eh?"

Tash grinned and stood up straight. "No worries, I'll pack for you."

Ferin smiled. "Thanks. But you're under a time limit, we need to be ready to go in half an hour."

Tash nodded and disappeared.

"Where are you going?"

Phil was now sitting sideways on the couch.

"Atlantic City for a night,"

"Is Bam going?"

Ferin shook her head. "No, they're all out filming right now except Rake, who has offered to drive us there and back."

Ape suddenly walked in the front door with grocery bags in her hands. "Hey Ferin can you give me a hand?"

"Sure." Ferin smiled in response and headed outside to the PT Loser. She grabbed the bags that were left in the car and slammed the door shut before heading into the house and down to the pirate bar where Ape was now busy unpacking the groceries and putting them away.

"You look like you're ready to go somewhere."

Phil and Natasha came down the stairs.

"Ferin I'm throwing your clothes in my bag to!"

Sure," Ferin replied quickly but Tash was already in her and Bam's room.

"Where are you going?"

"Atlantic City."

"Atlantic City?" Ape rolled up one empty bag into a ball and placed it into another empty plastic bag. "What are you doing there?"

Phil found a bag of pretzels and popped them open, offering Ferin some.

She smiled and took a few from the bag. "Thanks." She glanced back at Ape and took a seat on one of the heart-a-gram stools. "We booked a hotel room, some spa time, and thought we could do some shopping."

Ferin stopped talking and took a bite of her pretzel.

"So Phil and I have the house to ourselves for a couple days?"

Ferin shook her head and swallowed. "No, the boys will be home. Just Tash and I and Dunn's new girlfriend are going."

Ape and Phil spoke at the same time.

"Bam isn't going?"

"Who's Dunn's new chick?"

Ferin smiled. "Her name is Melissa. In fact, Ape you know her, she just started working at Salon Nochea, and no, Bam doesn't know that we're going and you two have to promise me you won't tell him. We don't want them all just showing up."

"He's going to flip you do know that right?" Ape asked as she turned around and tucked a new box of garbage bags under the sink.

"Yeah." Ferin nodded and reached for her cell only to realize it wasn't attached to her back pocket. She could hear it ringing though. But almost as quickly it quit. Tash emerged from Ferin and Bam's room talking on it.

"Oh yeah that gate is a pain in the ass, I'll let you in just give me a second." Tash bounded up the stairs with their packed bag in her hand.

"Melissa must be here." Ferin turned back around on her stool.

"I'm ready to go." Rake appeared freshly showered.

Ferin climbed off the stool and stole a few more pretzels from Phil. "Remember," she took one last glance at Phil and Ape, "don't be spilling to Bam."

"Easier said than done." Ape glanced helplessly at Phil and he shrugged.

***

"A little assistance please."

Shopping carts. Providing fun for boys around the world. Bam and the rest of the crew were all standing around doubled over in laughter in the middle of Clemmen's Grocery Store parking lot.

Dunn was sprawled out on the pavement stuck under a mound of grocery carts. His stunt hadn't gone so well. Though it would have, had DiCo not detoured and sent him flying into a row of shopping carts rather than into the curb.

Onlookers passing by who didn't know the crew stared in bewilderment, and those who knew them merely laughed or encouraged them.

"Help me up you fuckers," Dunn growled again.

Eventually Bam and Raab began helping. No sooner than they got Dunn up, Knoxville sent another cart at him from behind sending him to the pavement again.

"Jesus christ," Dunn groaned when he was finally able to stand up again.

His entire right arm, from shoulder to palm was covered with gravel rash, and bleeding. The knees in his jeans were now ripped and he looked a little bit pissed off.

Raab was grinning like crazy. "Sorry Dunn, but damn that's funny."

Dunn nodded in his direction. "Thanks alot asshole."

Bam slapped his hand on Dunn's right shoulder and he winced. "That was one of the best things I've ever seen."

Dunn simply glared at his best friend, before returning his attention to his arm, lightly brushing the tiny rocks out of the bleeding scratches. "I need a beer," he admitted.

Everyone laughed but decided that an afternoon brew didn't sound like too bad of an idea. Afterwards they headed home.

"Yo, Ape, Phil, we're home!" Bam yelled as he led everyone into the house.

"Something smells really good," Knoxville spoke for the group. Though they always gave Ape a hard time, it was true they'd all starve to death if it wasn't for her.

"We're down here!" Ape's voice was heard from downstairs.

Bam motioned with his arm and everyone followed him down the stairs into the pirate bar.

"Where is everyone else?" Bam was expecting to see his girlfriend and Tash and Rake but they were no where in sight.

Ape shrugged and quickly turned around so she didn't have to look at her son. "I don't know. I thought they were with you guys."

Bam glanced questioningly back at the boys before returning his attention to his parents. "Bull shit, you knew they weren't with us, at least Phil does because they were here when we left."

Phil took a sip of coffee from his CKY mug. "I don't know where they are."

Raab laughed. "Like that didn't give it away."

Bam punched his dad in the arm. "Where are they?"

Phil looked up at his son and shook his head. "I don't know Bam."

"Check vehicles," Dunn offered his advice. It wasn't until he spoke and Ape looked directly at him that she realized he was holding onto his right arm.

"What did you do?" she asked, coming around the island in the middle of the room to examine his arm.

Bam started laughing, totally sidetracked for the moment. "He did a shopping cart so hard."

"Right into a bunch of other shopping carts," DiCo cackled in one of his many other voices.

"You should wash that out." Ape looked up at him and Dunn shrugged.

Ape sighed and pulled him towards the sink. Bam and Knoxville went outside to see if any vehicles were missing. They were back in a few minutes.

"Rake's car is gone," Knoxville admitted.

Phil reached for another pretzel. "So they must have went with him."

"Tell us where they went fat boy, or I'll make sure we have another Don't Fee Phil day. And this time Vito won't be involved. He's a loose cannon."

Phil's face fell. "Don't do that Bam."

"Tell us where they are."

Phil glanced helplessly at Ape and she shook her head.

"So you do know where they went." Bam, Raab and Knoxville surrounded poor Ape.

She tried to be as serious as she could. "I don't know where they went."

Dunn looked directly at Ape. "She's lying."

"Stick her in the closet," Bam ordered.

Ape was laughing despite the fact that the boys were pushing her into a closet. Closing the door behind her and leaning against it.

"Where are they?" Bam asked again and Ape slowly finished laughing.

"I don't know Bam now let me out or your supper will burn."

"We can always buy supper, where did they go?"

"We'll let you out if you tell us," Raab promised her.

Ape leaned back against the shelves in the pitch black clearly defeated. "Alright, alright...they went to Atlantic City, but you didn't hear that from me."

Bam looked at Knoxville. "Atlantic City?"

"What are they doing there?" Raab asked no one in particular.

"Alot of stuff," Phil stated.

Bam glanced back at his dad. "Oh, not without us they're not."