Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

"So what does this beautiful girl see in you?" Jussi Vuori of The 69 Eyes asked Bam. His Finnish accent was thick but Bam understood him perfectly as he took the picture away from Jussi.

Bam shrugged and laughed, sticking the picture he'd stolen from Knoxville of Ferin and Natasha into his wallet. "No idea," he laughed.

"So that's why we are here?" Timo-Timo smiled, "to impress your girlfriend?"

Bam smiled and sat down on the arm of the couch. "You are her favorite band."

"I like her already," Jyrki's deep voice echoed throughout the room.

"Bam who's here now...oh," Ape smiled when she saw the boys sitting around the fire place. "Hey guys," she smiled. "When did you get here?"

"I picked them up from the airport in Philly like an hour ago," Bam informed his mom.

"Oh," Ape smiled. "Well, glad to have you back."

The boys nodded and Ape went about her business.

"Bam!"

The door leading outside slammed open and Ape shrieked as it slammed into a plant, sending it and the ceramic pot it was in to the floor.

Glomb peeked in the door, and Bam and the guys finally quit laughing. "Hey Bam, can you pleeeease do something with Dunn? I can't build anything with him around."

"What's he doing?" Bam asked.

Glomb frowned. "No sooner than I get it built, he's breaking it. Come do something with him."

"What are they building?" Jyrki asked as he stood up from the couch.

"A stage." Bam motioned for them to all get up and they did. On their way out, Ape had no sooner set the plant back on the stand when Bam grabbed it and tossed it on the floor again before heading outside.

"BAM!" she screamed at him but he simply closed the door on her and laughed as he lead he guys around the pool and towards the area where Glomb and his crew were constructing the huge stage.

"Bam." Raab approached him with two boards in hand. "Look what Dunn did," he laughed. "He's fucking glueing picnic tables together." Raab tossed the boards on the ground and Dunn approached him from the side laughing.

Bam picked up the boards and looked at them. "Dunn you're glueing wood together?"

"We didn't have any more screws!" Dunn protested through a laugh.

"What kind of glue were you using?"

Dunn grinned again, "that kids school glue stuff."

"Fuck," Bam laughed throwing the boards on the ground again for Raab to pick up,

The boys from the 69 Eyes hung around talking to Dunn and Raab as Bam continued his way towards the stage. "Hey Glomb."

Glomb turned around and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked stressed. "What's up?"

Bam grinned, this was really gonna piss him off. "Did I tell you, that once you're done this, you have to build a barn?"

"Excuse me?" Glomb asked him. He didn't really believe him. Actually, he didn't want to believe him.

"A barn," Bam repeated and pointed beyond the stage. "Way back there where the trees start."

Glomb looked at him like he was nuts. "What the fuck would you want a barn for?"

"Just one for like two or three horses," Bam informed him.

"Horses?"

"Ferin's bringing her horses here," Bam stated. "I wanna give her the barn as a present."

"And when do you want this done for?" Glomb was scared to ask, and he had every reason because Bam was grinning.

"Saturday."

"Are you fucking kidding me? I can't have this stage and a fucking barn ready for Saturday!"

"Call in reinforcements," Bam suggested and began walking away. Glomb was pissed now, but Bam knew his friend could pull it off.

***

"I am so fucking tired," Natasha stated as she returned to the truck.

She and Ferin had left Nevada Wednesday afternoon, and they'd done nothing but drive since then. It was now late Friday night and they had just crossed the Pennsylvania border.

"Let's get a hotel room then," Ferin suggested from the passenger seat. They'd been alternating driving and napping since they left. Now it was to the point where neither of them could go anymore.

Tash nodded. They'd found a small town and she hoped to god there was somewhere to stay. Otherwise they'd be sleeping in the truck, again. "Keep watch for one okay?"

Ferin nodded and watched out the window. It was a shitty night, the sky was pitch black, it was starting to rain, and she missed Bam. How crazy was that? She'd hadn't even been away from him for a week.

"There." Natasha pointed out and maneuvered the truck and trailer into the parking lot.

"Thank god," Ferin muttered, unbuckling her seatbelt and stretching.

They grabbed some stuff, then locked up the truck and headed inside. They got lucky and grabbed a room before a bus load of people showed up.

"One bed," Ferin noted as they entered the room.

"What?" Tash laughed softly. "You don't wanna cuddle with me?"

Ferin laughed. "Of course I wanna cuddle with you."

They basically dropped their stuff inside the door, changed into pajamas and went to bed. The next time Ferin opened her eyes the alarm clock was staring back at her flashing 9:27am. Realising the power must have flickered sometime in the night she pulled her arm out from the blankets to look at her watch. It was almost one in the afternoon.

"Shit," Ferin muttered and rolled out of bed. Tash stirred but never awoke.

"Hey babe we gotta go," Ferin reached down and smacked her friend on the ass, "or it'll be really late when we get to West Chester."

She grabbed some clean clothes and headed into the bathroom to shower, change, do her hair, and make-up. She was going to get to see Bam today so she had to look her best.
By the time she finally emerged from the bathroom Tash was just rolling out of bed.

"By now there should be enough hot water for you." Ferin smiled at her friend who groaned and truged towards the bathroom.

When Tash was almost ready to go Ferin went and checked them out then met Tash at the truck, it was her turn to drive anyway. She climbed up into the passenger seat and turned the truck on.

"We need something...happy," Tash muttered as she slammed the passenger door shut. Ferin agreed and reached for her CD case eventually settling on Timbaland's Shock Value.

"What do you think Bam's really doing today?" Ferin asked Natasha when they'd finally made it back onto the highway. She'd told Natasha about Bam insisting on them being home Saturday.

Tash shrugged. "That boy could be up to anything," she glanced from looking out the side window to look at Ferin. "We'll just have to be cautious."

***

Bam crawled out of bed around noon and began frantically looking for his cell. He had to find out where Ferin was. He was screwed if she was close to being home.

"Fuck," he muttered, leaving his room in only his boxers and heading down the hall to Dunn's room, flicking on the light even though Dunn was still sound asleep. He needed his phone. Bam picked up Ryan's cell off the nightstand and began dialing Ferin's number.

"What are you doing?" Dunn muttered, squinting his eyes up at Bam.

"I needed your phone," Bam explained as Ferin answered.

"Dunn?"

"No, it's Bam?"

"Oh, why are you on Ryan's cell?"

Bam left the room with Dunn protesting. "I couldn't find mine. Where are you?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Ferin admitted, "but we're a couple hours from West Chester."

Bam was starting to panic. "A couple? As in like two?"

"No," Ferin paused for a moment. "Like four or five, or six," she laughed.

He was relieved now. "Alright, well you guys better be here before nine tonight."

"We should be."

He smiled. "Alright, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye."

He flicked the phone shut only to open it again and dial Glomb's number.

"Yo."

"Hey Glomb are you finished that thing yet?"

It took Glomb a moment to realise it was Bam and not Dunn. "Why don't you walk your ass down here and look at it," Glomb snarled. "We worked all fucking night."

"Alright alright." Bam was actually grateful but he didn't really wanna let Glomb know that at the moment. "I'll be down to look at it."

He flicked the phone shut again and threw it at Dunn. It bounced off his back and smacked him in the head.

"Ow," Dunn stated as he propped himself up slightly and turned to see Bam in the doorway. "What the hell was that for?"

Bam smiled at his best friend. "Time to get up Random Hero. We have shit to do."

***

"So what do you want me to do?" April asked her son as he bumbled around the kitchen looking for something to snack on that didn't require any cooking.

"I need you to make food," Bam muttered slamming the fridge shut and picking the sticker off of his apple.

"What kind of food?" Ape asked him, "and you should wash that before you eat it."

Bam ignored her and bit into it. "It's fine."

Ape rolled her eyes and placed both of her hands on the counter. "So what kind of food?"

"I don't know," Bam shrugged. "Party food."

She groaned, "Bam."

"Just like stuff to snack on."

The sound of a tractor caught Ape's attention and she began to panic. "What's that?"

Bam never answered her so she ran to the door.

"What are they doing Bam?" she shrieked as she ran outside. Bam followed her calmly.

"What are they doing?" she repeated as they watched the machinery dig into the ground, ripping out large chunks of dirt.

"Making a fire pit," Bam stated nonchalantly.

"A fire pit?"

Bam nodded as another truck drove onto the grass and dumped it's load of rocks next to the hole, "and that's what we're going to line it with."

"Oh my god," Ape muttered. She'd seriously given up on trying to understand her son. The only thing there was left to do was go with the flow.

"I have to go down and check on the barn." Bam bit off the last piece of apple and placed the core in his mom's hand before walking away.

"Thanks Bam," she called after him sarcastically.

"Anytime," he yelled back.

By the time he made it to the barn he was tired, but impressed.

"What do you think?" Glomb asked him as they stood back and looked it over. There were large spot lights around the barn that they'd been using the past two nights to build through the night. The only thing left now was the shingles which a couple of guys were on the roof applying.

"Looks good," Bam admitted.

"It's nothing real spectacular. But you only gave me two days," Glomb admitted as he began walking to the large front doors and Bam followed. "I had to call in every last favor I had."
Glomb took him inside and showed him the three stalls, and the two small rooms for tack and feed.

"Good enough for me," Bam said as they left the barn and Glomb closed the doors. "Now do you have a tarp big enough to cover this?"

Glomb rolled his eyes. "Nothing is ever simple with you. We'd have to tie some together."

"Do it," Bam instructed. "I want this bitch completely covered up when she gets here. It's a surprise."

"Well then let me get back to work." Glomb ushered him away and Bam began the long trek back to the house. When he made it to the stage he realized Raab and Rake were actually being useful helping the band set up their equipment. He had to get inside to get Dunn, Knoxville, Novak and DiCo on the horn.