Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

"Oh wow he gave us the hummer?" Ape asked as she walked with the girls outside towards the vehicles.

Natasha smiled in response. "Well he let Ferin have the keys."

Ferin wasn't to sure why he let her have them either. Just the day before he swore that she could drive it but he would always be there to tag along.

She pursed her lips together as she glanced at the sliding glass doors that were partialy covered by a tarp due to Dunn's expert catching abilities. She could see Bam and Ville sitting the in the living room laughing over something. For all she knew they could have been laughing about her.

"You wanna drive?" Ferin asked Ape suddenly.

April shook her head, "no that's fine."

Natasha instantly jumped into the back seat allowing Ape to have shotgun.

"So are we going anywhere in particular?" Ferin asked as she started the hummer.

Ape thought for a moment before answering. "If you girls don't mind I should pick up a few groceries."

Ferin shook her head in acknowledgment as she drove down the private road to the highway. Other than a light breeze it was rather nice out. A light blue sky with barely any clouds made for a nice backdrop through the trees.

"Hey Ape," Tash interrupted the silence. "This house here," she pointed out the window to the house just down the road from the Margera's. "It's for sale isn't it?"

Ape watched the house go by and thought about it. "I think so. I can ask some of the girls at the shop, they always know what's happening," she said referring to the girls at the hair dressing shop she worked at. "Are you and Johnny looking at it?"

Tash shrugged, "he wants to buy a house out here. But you know him, he won't take the time to look at them. He's such a pain in the ass sometimes."

Ferin and Ape both laughed.

"We could have told you that."

Once they were in town they did some quick window shopping then they went for lunch. After lunch they went for groceries and they were just leaving the store when Ape's cell started ringing.

"Oh god, Phil's probably phoning to tell me Bam broke something." She handed the bags to
Tash before digging in her purse for her phone. What the caller ID said surprised her. "Hey,"
she said cheerfully into the phone.

Ferin shut her door as quietly as she could and started the hummer. She pulled on her seat belt and turned to Natasha. "We should go take a look at that house when we get back," she whispered.

Tash nodded as Ape hung up the phone. She was grinning from ear to ear which meant it was definitely not Phil or Bam that phoned. "We need to go to the airport."

Ferin glanced at her suspiciously and smiled. "You're the boss."

"Whats at the airport?" Tash asked both of them.

"That was Jess that just phoned. I guess he just got in. He tried the house but no one answered," she paused and sighed. "Maybe by some miracle it means that they are all outside cleaning up after that concert."

Ferin laughed, she highly doubted that's what they were up to. In fact, silence in the Margera home almost always meant no good.

"I thought he wasn't suppose to be home for a couple more days," Tash exclaimed as she dug around in her bags to find her gum.

"I didnt think so either. But it's a nice surprise," Ape smiled.

Ferin grinned. She hadn't even really known about Jess other than catching him on the odd episode of Viva La Bam, that was until Natasha started her listening to CKY. Since then she was always eager to meet him.

Tash frowned as she popped a piece of gum out of the packing. "I just hope he didn't bring the whole band. Not that I don't love them because I do. It's just that not including Jess, we already have fifteen people staying in an eight bedroom house."

"Shit," Ferin murmured as she turned towards the air port. "You and Johnny are in Jess' room aren't you?"

Tash nodded and offered Ape and Ferin a piece of gum.

Ferin reached behind her as Tash popped a piece into her palm, "Well you guys can have my room, and I'll stay with Dunn or DiCo." Ferin compromised. She would much rather stay with either of them than even think about staying with Bam at the current moment.

"Then what about Ville?" Tash asked. "Isn't he stayin with you?"

Ferin nodded as she turned down another road, "he can stay with Bam," she decided out loud.

That was satisfying to. This way Bam wouldn't be able to have more random girls stay in his room. Oh what was wrong with her? Bam could do whatever the hell he wanted. She had no real reason to care. At least that's what she kept telling herself.

"We should just go stay in a hotel," Natasha sighed as Ferin parked as close as she could to the main entrance.

Ape undid her seat belt and grabbed her purse. "I'll go get him."

Ferin smiled. "Sure Ape," she turned around to look at Tash. "You should run that by Johnny."

Natasha sat up straight and stretched her legs out in front of her. "Yeah wouldn't hurt.
Cause I mean the house is full. I don't know how Gas can sleep in that recliner, or how Lily
sleeps on the love seat."

Ferin thought about the other HIM band members as she recalled that Mige was also currently sleeping in the living room on the couch and Zoltan was sleeping on the floor with a blanket and a pillow.

"Speaking of a full house," Tash said suddenly breaking the silence. "Who was that chick that left this morning? Ape was askin me about her when we saw her leave."

Ferin turned to look at Tash. She sighed and turned forward again, mostly so Tash couldn't
see her facial expressions. "Her name is Sara," she glanced in the rearview mirror to look at
Tash anyway. "She's that girl that you were worried was checking out Johnny the other day when we went shopping with the boys."

Tash thought for a moment then grinned. "Oh right, she's the one that was making you jealous."

Ferin laughed and flipped her off, even though deep down she knew that Natasha was right.

"So judging by your silence, I bet that means she stayed with Bam?"

"More like slept with Bam," Ferin corrected as she stared at the entrance to the airport.

"Oh yeah? You Hear em?" Tash giggled.

Ferin cringed. Come to think of it she hadn't heard anything, thank god. Had she been subjected to that she either would have had to bang on the wall and tell em to quit it so they could sleep, or her and Ville would have had to go crawl into bed with Tash and Johnny. Neither of which sounded appealing.

"He say he slept with her?" Tash asked as she looked out the window at the people passing by. "I really like her shoes."

Ferin laughed and glanced over her shoulder. "What are you a cop?"

Tash looked away from the window at her friend and grinned, "Just trying to keep tabs on who's gettin laid and who's not."

Ferin shook her head. "Tash the only one that's getting laid on a regular basis is you."

"On the contrary," Tash smiled. "Dunn's had a few lady friends."

Ferin didn't doubt that either. It was crazy what celebrity status did for a persons sex life.

"Here they come," Tash smiled as she moved stuff to make room for Jess and his bags.

"Bam gave you the hummer?" Jess asked Ape, a surprised look spread across his face as they neared the vehicle.

"Nope," Ape said as she helped him load up. "He gave it to Ferin."

"Who's Ferin?" Jess hopped into the back seat. "Natasha," he nodded in recognition.

Ferin smiled and reached behind her. "I'm Ferin, Natasha's partner in crime."

He grinned and awkwardly shook her hand. "I thought Johnny was her partner in crime?"

Ferin smiled, "Aaah but I am the original. She has to settle for Johnny when I'm not around."

He smiled and stretched his arms over his head. "So how did you get the hummer? You
Bam's new girlfriend?"

Ferin shook her head as she turned and began heading back for the castle. She was amazed that she was already catching on to where everything was.

"Nope, I made him a bet and I won. Which means I get to drive the hummer whenever I want."

"You should have seen it," Tash beamed. "She kicked Bam's ass on the 4 wheelers."
Jess and Ape laughed.

"I wished I would have known what you were doing the other night. I would have came out to watch Bam get beat," Ape grinned.

Jess flashed a smile. "Yes there aren't many times that Bam gets beat, and it's never by a girl," he turned his attention to Natasha. "So where is Jenn?"

Ape answered without turning to face him as she put on some lip chap. "She will be back in a little while. She went to go visit some family."

"I dunno how Bam has stayed with her for so long," Jess mumbled as he looked out the windows.

Ferin found herself wondering if she wasn't the only one who wasn't fond of Jenn. Maybe the entire Margera and extended family didn't like her. She sighed, she wasn't being fair. She should be reserving her judgment until the day they actually come face to face.

When they finally got back to the house Tash and Ferin helped unload the groceries for Ape while Jess went to surprise the boys who were outside sitting around. Glomb's truck was in the driveway too, signaling that he was there to at least take the stage down. Everything else was left as it was the night before. Ape's hopes of the boys cleaning up were shot.

"Well," Ferin sighed as they watched Jess tackle Bam to the ground from behind. "I guess we should probably start cleaning that up," she gestured outside to the ground where cups and garbage were strewn about all the way from the house to the stage.

Natasha reached under the sink and grabbed a bunch of garbage bags. "I'm ready when you are."

"Can I compromise?" Ape asked.

The girls turned to her.

"How about I'll make supper, and when I'm done I'll come out and help?"

"Sounds good," Tash grinned and followed Ferin to the door.

"What are you up to love?" Ville asked when Ferin flung the door open to see him on the other side.

"Clean up," she groaned, emphasizing her point by holding up the garbage bags.

"In that?" Ville asked her referring to her outfit and her flip flops.

Ferin nodded.

He smiled and let her pass. "Just let me go take a piss then I'll come help."

She laughed and started in the opposite direction of Tash, she wasn't going to turn down any help because this was going to take a while.