Shattered Blue

The rain hadn’t stopped by the time I had sneaked up my ladder and into my room. I had had to let the rain wash the mud from my body and now I stood shivering in front of my closet looking for something to wear. I shrugged mentally and grabbed a pair of olive green linen pants and a brown tank top before rushing to the only bathroom on the third floor that I had to share with my eldest sibling.

I turned on the hot water tap of the bathtub and watched with unconcealed joy as deliciously hot water gushed to fill the tub halfway. Steam rose up only to be caught and swept away by the ever present draft that crept thief like around our house. I sprinkled in a handful of lavender bath salts highly suspecting they were my sister’s and that she would be on my case for days afterward about it.

But then I let the water ease away any worries, any stress and all my numerous muscle aches. I looked down at my torn knees, where the cut and bruised skin was now stinging in the salted bathwater. But soon the pain also eased away and I was just left with my thoughts.

This was the first time in months I had had a bath. The summer was too vivid and hot to waste energy and time on running a bath so I showered. But I had had blue lips before I had climbed in and the thought of a cold shower did not sound particularly enjoyable much less bearable.

I distantly heard my heard my siblings come into the house from school. They weren’t hard to miss; the two boys bounding and running around sounded like destructive lion cubs while my sisters, more composed and older, were shrieking at each other while my mother tried calming them down by shouting as well. I sank back into the water until my knees were exposed to the cool air but my head was submerged instead. I opened my eyes and watched my hair drift around me. Everything was so peaceful down here.

I had a longing for my forest, with its undemanding and aloof attitude to everything. If I disturbed its peace I wouldn’t be shouted at or mocked or ignored. I would simply scare away the birds I love so much and be deprived if their constant symphonies, and if I took my time exploring it’s every mystery it wouldn’t call me back like a naughty child and be disappointed in my behaviour or the state of my clothing.

I wish I was a nymph and then no one would ever expect anything from me and I could be as wild and care free as I wanted. I had counted to forty in my head and was quite proud of my record when someone banged on the bathroom door and I sat up, spluttering, my eyes tearing from the water that had got up my nose.

“What?!” I yelled annoyed that I was annoyed.

“Lunch’s ready! And stop hogging the bathroom!” yelled my oldest sister, Karin, who was only sixteen but treated me like a stray cat that gave off fleas. I heard her stomping away and, sighing, I quickly gave myself a quick wash and rinsed out my hair before climbing out.
I caught myself in the mirror and grinned. There was still some mud stuck in my eyebrows and fringe. I thought twice about going downstairs in this state and decided against it, having a feeling that I would be badgered by three people about it until I fixed it. Ten minutes later, I charged downstairs and grabbed up my smallest brother, Deon who I swung around in circles as he urged me to go faster and faster. I put him down and pointed at him.

‘Your punishment for sitting on the stairs, silly knight! I could’ve tripped!” I mock glared at him while he pretended to charge at me with his imaginary sword. Ben, his older brother by three years, joined in and I was forced to surrender and have them handcuff me and pull me towards the kitchen. Our old wooden floors creaked underfoot and then suddenly there was cool tile beneath my soles.

“We’ve captured her!” they said proudly presenting me to a slightly scowling middle aged woman who was busy clearing the table.

“Traitors! You were laying a trap. Your Queen is displeased!” I told them, giving my mother an apologetic smile. I had missed a family lunch. Again. But then my guilt slowly evaporated, only to be replaced with anger. HE wasn’t here. Again.

“I think they know where their loyalties lie,” my mother told me her face lightening as she looked down at them.

“We’re sorry Joe,” Deon, my favourite brother, said.

Ben shrugged, not looking sorry at all. “She bribed us with chocolate.” My mother gave them each a small bar of chocolate, something that was very rare in our house and they each politely thanked her like they had been trained before running off, probably scared of me chasing after them.

“Sorry,” I told her meekly accepting the plate of food she tiredly handed to me. “I was in the bath.”

“So early?” she asked as she went about cleaning up. I hefted myself up and sat down on an already clean countertop and ate the tuna sandwich and side of sweet and sour pickles. It looked horrible but it was the most delicious combination in the world.

Through mouthfuls I spoke, “I got a bit…muddy while outside.” When I saw her pointed stare I flapped my hand in the air. “Don’t worry. I washed my clothes off with the hosepipe outside and hung it up in the shed.”

“So you climbed into your room in your underwear?” My mother suppressed a smile. Even she could be cheered up by my antics sometimes.

“No one was around.” I thought of my elephant boy and paused. “Do we have new neighbours?”

“No, why?” she asked, running hot water into the sink for the dish washing. I jumped down from the countertop, my feet slapping against the tiles.

I went to put my plate into the sink and said, “It’s just that I saw this guy around my own age wandering around in the forest a while ago. It’s the second time I saw him.” I left out the bit where we talked thinking she would ban me from going into the forest if she heard I was having conversations with strangers. Only he hadn’t been a stranger. Should I tell her after all?

I put the wet and now clean dishes she handed me into the drying rack. The silence was comfortable and although some people thought my mother was ignoring them when she lapsed into stillness it was only because she was carefully thinking about what they had asked.

“Now that I think about it, I’m sure when Gail called a few days ago she said something about her nephew coming to live with them. We used to know the boy’s father but when his wife passed away they moved to the city remember? We were merely neighbour’s, they used to own the old Cradock house near to the main farms, but you and your sisters used to play with him quite a lot. I think that’s how we met, through you kids.”

“I knew it was him!” I exclaimed.

“Ah ha! So you do know this “guy”. I knew you were just beating around the bush.” My mother chuckled. “I wasn’t told why he had come to visit though. It’s strange, he’s your age; he’s supposed to be working or studying now.”

I knew my mother hadn’t meant to but she had nevertheless scratched open an old scab. I quickly helped her clean up and rushed to my room, wrapped up in my own thoughts and not giving my mother’s offer to watch TV with her second thought. I felt bad for brushing her off; my mother had seemed distracted and drawn for the past couple of days and I suspected it had something to do with HIM.

I sulked, quite unlike my usual self, as I watched my haven dry under the sun. I didn’t want to get my clean clothes wet and dirty and upset my mother so I settled down with a book and waited.

But my mind drifted and I was soon recollecting old memories.

“You can’t blame me for not having known who he was when I first saw him,” I told Mousse, who looked up at me and meowed plaintively. “He used to be the fattest kid around and he loved playing home with Karin and me. Now he looks like a rugby player with a serious attitude problem.” I yawned and Mousse yawned with me, before digging his face back into his tail. Unconsciously I scratched his one ear as I lay sprawled on my back, the book forgotten.

I smiled as my eyes closed and my breathing relaxed. “And you can still hear him before you see him,” I whispered to Mousse who opened one eye and gave me a cold look of contempt for interrupting his nap time. “It didn’t seem like he recognised me though. Who would after so many years?” I wrinkled my nose and gave a low laugh. “He’ll probably recognise Karin; she still acts like an affronted bossy princess…I wonder ...when I’ll see him again.”