Shattered Blue

I would make Ant fall in love with my sister.

I have many reasons to substantiate my seemingly flawed thinking, one of them being: Karin, despite her resemblance to our father, is beautiful. Secondly, she has a heart of gold. And thirdly, she and Ant were childhood sweethearts. He had fawned over her while she had pretended not to like it.

Did she remember him? Or the other way around? No, I shook that small problem from my mind. That would come later. For now I had to arrange for them to meet. Maybe I hadn’t planned this thoroughly enough but as I stand on the doormat before Gail’s house and smile up at her I decided it was already too late to turn back now.

“Hi, ma’am.”

The latticed pattern of wrinkles near her eyes and mouth deepens and it strikes me how much her son’s death has physically aged her; she looks like a woman in her sixties, not one in her late forties.

“Hello, Joe!” she exclaims while their German shepherd digs his nose into my open palm begging for attention. She chuckles and folds her arms across her frail chest. “Looking at Sam it seems no one ever tries to play with him.”

I grin in response as I carefully hide my sadness. Gail knows that I know. Sam only ever played with him and now Sam was probably connecting my appearance here with the coming of his master. I could almost imagine him now, racing around the bend and letting me pet him for just the small amount of time it took Daniel to…

I bite back tears hoping Gail hadn’t seen but nevertheless I was so relieved when she wrapped her thin arms around me. My breath sticks in my throat for a few seconds before my breathing calms and I am able to stop the dam from bursting.

“Sorry,” I murmur as I slipped out from her delicate hold.

She gives me a lopsided smile that does not reach her eyes. “That’s alright dear, I’m just glad you
finally came to see me.”

Guilt ridden I suddenly realise I hadn’t visited her properly on my own since the funeral even though she had always been like a favourite aunt to me. And could still be.

“I’ve heard you have a visitor?” I grin the way I used to grin before the year started off.
This time the smile reaches her eyes. “Ah! Knowing you you’ve already met him eh, little forest gypsy?”

I shrugg innocently. “I couldn’t help it; he was making such a racket I had to do something before he scared everything away. Where is he by the way? If you wouldn’t mind me stealing him for a while I’d like to show him around town…or what little there is of it.”

Gail turns slightly back inside. “Anthony! You have a visitor!” she turns back to me and gives me a puzzled smile. “Didn’t he and your sister used to be playmates when they were younger? I remember you always lurked in the background and sulked because he would rather play with barbies than climb trees with you.”

I laugh but then it quickly dies down when I see cool blue eyes watching me from behind her shoulder. “Hello!” I say brightly even though I’m a little spooked. Is this what my mother meant about Ant giving Gail and her husband trouble? His bad mood practically wafted off him like a dampening mist.

“Oh, there you are,” Gail says turning to follow my gaze. Her hand flutters away from her heart and I realise she has been startled as well. Gail cracks a smile and Anthony merely stares at me frowning slightly. I notice that his hair is damp and from where I stand I can smell men’s aftershave.

“What do you want?” Ant mutters earning him a sharp reprimand from Gail.

“Sorry Joe,” she sighs running her hand through her hair. “Get some fresh air Anthony. Joe, would you show him where the library is? Maybe a good book will clear his−”

Ant shoves past her and begins to walk in the general direction towards town. “I’ve been in this hole long enough to know my way around. I don’t need a babysitter!” he shouts as he lumbers off down the drive.

I roll my eyes wink at Gail. “See you later ma’am,” I sing as I run to catch up with him.

“Hey, wait for me!” I say as I try to match his long strides with my own.

“Leave me alone,” he growls and walks faster leaving me behind to stare at his broad back.

This is going to be a long day.