Sequel: Eclat
Status: finished.

Smirt

Twelve.

“Christofer? May I speak with you for a moment?”

My head, which was bowed slightly, shot up. I blinked, looking around the room. The empty room. Damn, did I really fall asleep during group therapy? I must be really out of it. Truth be told, I was exhausted from getting minimal sleep that night. A twenty minute nap during the car ride to the session counted right? Of course it does. It has to.

“Uh, sure, Dr. Feldman. ‘Course you can.” I stood up. Even my legs had fallen asleep and had that pins and needles feeling. Great. Also, my phone vibrated in my pocket, which meant that Carter was waiting in the parking lot. Probably pissed off that I made him wait at all, too.

Dr. Feldman placed her legal pad and pen on the chair beside her. “Did you have trouble sleeping last night, Chris? You were trying to stay awake, but when you fell asleep was during the last ten minutes of the session.”

“I’m sorry about that, doc,” I murmured, slightly embarrassed. “I didn’t sleep last night. I tried writing a song to make myself relax and it didn’t work.”

“Did you have an altercation with the friend you were going to bring?” Dr. Feldman asked as her eyebrows rose. “Because you came here by yourself.”

“They had other plans.” I tried to ignore the oh-so obvious disappointment in my voice.

“I see. Well, I’ll see you soon, Chris,” she said, standing up, legal pad and pen in hand. “Normally, I would stay longer but I have to go downtown for a seminar. Also, try to get some sleep. It’s not healthy to stay up all night.”

“I’ll try not to stay up too late,” I promised. We left the room together, parting ways as she went to her subcompact. My eyes did a once over of the parking lot, then, a second time before I found Carter. I got into the car and immediately rested my head on the window.

“How did that therapy thing go?” Carter’s voice caused me to open one bloodshot eye, not enthused at all to talk anymore.

“It was fan-fucking-tabulous. I wanna go every week.” I was really sarcastic, especially because of my lack of sleep.

“Hey, relax. Just answer this: how many times did you call her?” His tone became soft, almost a whisper.

I didn’t open my eyes, nor did I want to. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Chris, we all know that you tried to call her. We care about you, man, and this hasn’t happened since Ellie.”

Although it had been years since I’d seen her, I still felt an ache in my chest as Carter said her name. Her face plagued my mind, including the memories we’d shared. Long, light brown hair. Go-kart racing. Bright, hazel doe eyes. Building sandcastles in the summertime. A smile that lit up her whole face. Kissing her goodbye.

“Fourteen,” I responded.

During the car ride, I admit that I dreamt of her.

And for the first time in awhile, I didn’t want to wake up, because that meant she’d disappear again. I had my one last chance. I could’ve given everything to her but I was too afraid to even try.

What kind of person am I now because of that?
♠ ♠ ♠
I'm going to keep this AN short and sweet. P:Break through!
I actually like this chapter, even though it's a bit brief.
(Hope you do as well. I'm getting back on 'schedule'! :D)

P.S. The comments section is so lonely.
I appreciate all of you lovely subscribers, but show some love?
I'd like to know what you think of the story.
Silent readers make me sad and waaaay more self-conscious of my writing.
Just saying.