When Reilly Cried
01/01
Reilly was eighteen when her brother killed himself. He was her best friend, her protector, and she had to stand there and watch as he drowned.
When her aunt and uncle came home, they found her in the shallow end of the pool, holding her big brother's lifeless body to her, rocking back and forth. She didn't cry then, but when the coroner came to take him away she screamed and tried to attack him.
The wake was a small affair. Jimmy didn't have too many friends, none of the Sullivan's and Sanders' had them really, so it was a select few people there. The Winchester's, family friends, did make an appearance, though. Sam held Reilly to his side as they stared at the beautiful mahogany casket, the single white rose in the sea of red ones contrasting with the wood, much like Reilly clashed with everyone in black by wearing a green dress. When asked why she had chosen such a festive color, she replied with 'Green was Jimmy's favorite color.'
Six months later, Reilly was holed up in an abandoned warehouse bathroom, her feet pressing against the opposite wall as she braced the door closed. She couldn't hold off this hell beast for much longer, but Katt showed up and defeated it for her.
“I had it.” She said stubbornly, glaring at her cousin.
Katt scoffed. “Sure you did. That's why you were on the other side of the door.” She said, rolling her eyes. “I don't stick my nose in your business, well not recently, but this self-destructive path you're on has got to fucking stop, Reilly. What do you think Jimmy would say if he saw you like this?”
She took a breath, all her anger dissapating at the mention of her brother. It had become an unspoken law around her that he wouldn't come up in conversation. She may have looked put together on the outside, but on the inside she was tormented. “I think you should stay out of my business Katherine. This doesn't concern you and he can't tell me anything... He drowned.” She said, walking to the GTO that had been her brother's pride, speeding down the gravel road toward the highway.
She felt that there was a pattern starting, when she felt that all hope was lost and the end was close at hand, someone would show up and save her. This time it wasn't Katt, but Sam Winchester, and she wasn't fighting a demon, just herself.
She had her foot poised on the gas pedal and her hand was on the gear stick when he stepped in front of the car. She didn't know how he'd gotten there but she glared. “Get out from in front of my car, Winchester!” She snarled.
He shook his head. “No, Reilly. You have to think about this.” He told her.
She put her hands on her head and leaned against the steering wheel. “This doesn't concern you, Sam. Go away.” She said loudly.
She heard the passenger door open and a shift when he lowered himself beside her. “If you're going, I'm going. You're not dying alone.” He told her, looking out at the water, the cliff they were on overlooked.
“I want to die alone. We all die alone. Because that's what the gods want.” She said, her voice wavering. “He died alone.”
Sam reached over and put his hand on her shoulder. “No he didn't. You were there. He died with his little sister at his side. He knew that he wasn't alone.”
She looked at him. “Get out of the car, Sam. You can look from the bank.” She told him.
He shook his head again. “No, Rei. You know Jimmy wouldn't want you to do this. How would you get into Elysium beside him if you do this?”
She gripped the wheel tighter, her knuckles turning white. “It's brave and heroic to do this. I have no doubt I will see him.” She stated.
He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her from the car, kicking and screaming. “Look at yourself, Reilly! You can't believe that Jimmy would give his life for you to end it!”
“How do you know what he did?!” She screamed.
“Because I know what happened! Jimmy left notes for us, or did you forget that? He told us that the only way to rid himself of the demon was to do this. He saved all of our lives by doing this. He wanted you to live!”
She leaned against the car, hiding her face in her hands. “I just miss him so much, Sam.” She said, her voice wavering. “He was my big brother. How can I go on without him?”
Sam walked over and pulled her into a hug. “You already are. You're hunting. It's what you're meant to do. To avenge your brother.” He said, rubbing her back gently.
“But what if I don't find the demon that killed him?” She asked, her face hidden in his chest.
“Then you will have at least tried. It will be enough for him. I know your brother.” He said softly.
She lost her breath as the pent up tears started to fall in a constant stream, her body wracked with sobs as she finally let go and finally cried over the death of her brother.
When her aunt and uncle came home, they found her in the shallow end of the pool, holding her big brother's lifeless body to her, rocking back and forth. She didn't cry then, but when the coroner came to take him away she screamed and tried to attack him.
The wake was a small affair. Jimmy didn't have too many friends, none of the Sullivan's and Sanders' had them really, so it was a select few people there. The Winchester's, family friends, did make an appearance, though. Sam held Reilly to his side as they stared at the beautiful mahogany casket, the single white rose in the sea of red ones contrasting with the wood, much like Reilly clashed with everyone in black by wearing a green dress. When asked why she had chosen such a festive color, she replied with 'Green was Jimmy's favorite color.'
Six months later, Reilly was holed up in an abandoned warehouse bathroom, her feet pressing against the opposite wall as she braced the door closed. She couldn't hold off this hell beast for much longer, but Katt showed up and defeated it for her.
“I had it.” She said stubbornly, glaring at her cousin.
Katt scoffed. “Sure you did. That's why you were on the other side of the door.” She said, rolling her eyes. “I don't stick my nose in your business, well not recently, but this self-destructive path you're on has got to fucking stop, Reilly. What do you think Jimmy would say if he saw you like this?”
She took a breath, all her anger dissapating at the mention of her brother. It had become an unspoken law around her that he wouldn't come up in conversation. She may have looked put together on the outside, but on the inside she was tormented. “I think you should stay out of my business Katherine. This doesn't concern you and he can't tell me anything... He drowned.” She said, walking to the GTO that had been her brother's pride, speeding down the gravel road toward the highway.
She felt that there was a pattern starting, when she felt that all hope was lost and the end was close at hand, someone would show up and save her. This time it wasn't Katt, but Sam Winchester, and she wasn't fighting a demon, just herself.
She had her foot poised on the gas pedal and her hand was on the gear stick when he stepped in front of the car. She didn't know how he'd gotten there but she glared. “Get out from in front of my car, Winchester!” She snarled.
He shook his head. “No, Reilly. You have to think about this.” He told her.
She put her hands on her head and leaned against the steering wheel. “This doesn't concern you, Sam. Go away.” She said loudly.
She heard the passenger door open and a shift when he lowered himself beside her. “If you're going, I'm going. You're not dying alone.” He told her, looking out at the water, the cliff they were on overlooked.
“I want to die alone. We all die alone. Because that's what the gods want.” She said, her voice wavering. “He died alone.”
Sam reached over and put his hand on her shoulder. “No he didn't. You were there. He died with his little sister at his side. He knew that he wasn't alone.”
She looked at him. “Get out of the car, Sam. You can look from the bank.” She told him.
He shook his head again. “No, Rei. You know Jimmy wouldn't want you to do this. How would you get into Elysium beside him if you do this?”
She gripped the wheel tighter, her knuckles turning white. “It's brave and heroic to do this. I have no doubt I will see him.” She stated.
He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her from the car, kicking and screaming. “Look at yourself, Reilly! You can't believe that Jimmy would give his life for you to end it!”
“How do you know what he did?!” She screamed.
“Because I know what happened! Jimmy left notes for us, or did you forget that? He told us that the only way to rid himself of the demon was to do this. He saved all of our lives by doing this. He wanted you to live!”
She leaned against the car, hiding her face in her hands. “I just miss him so much, Sam.” She said, her voice wavering. “He was my big brother. How can I go on without him?”
Sam walked over and pulled her into a hug. “You already are. You're hunting. It's what you're meant to do. To avenge your brother.” He said, rubbing her back gently.
“But what if I don't find the demon that killed him?” She asked, her face hidden in his chest.
“Then you will have at least tried. It will be enough for him. I know your brother.” He said softly.
She lost her breath as the pent up tears started to fall in a constant stream, her body wracked with sobs as she finally let go and finally cried over the death of her brother.