It's Not So Dark When We're Together
Twenty-Three
Alex’s POV
My throat burned as i took in a deep breath. I read and re-read the page of words. So dark and something i thought wasn’t possible form such a loving girl. Was i really that bad to her. My heart had sunk to the bottom of my stomach now as the words spiralled in my mind. She wanted to die, wanted to be rid of life.
I felt Ed’s warm hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. Knowing that i was broken, shattered into a thousand pieces. My heart believed the words, my mind saying otherwise, determined to find the truth out from her lips. It was that which i was going to do, ask her.
I pulled myself together slightly and settled back next to her. Taking her fingers in mine again, the girl i loved. Her face was like that of a chine doll as she lay there, in her sleep like state. I watched her chest rise and fall gently feeling that if i moved to sharp her hand would break off in mine.
I looked across the bed to see Dan holding her other hand again now. I hadn’t noticed him enter the room again. Elena was sat in the chair in the corner of the room, her eyes closing as she slowly feel into a light sleep. Obviously all this had taken it’s toll on her. Ed walked over to place a blanket on her, keep her warm whilst she rested slightly. I looked back up to Dan, his blue eyes focusing on mine, his cheeks stained with tear tracks, bags starting to slowly form under his eyes.
We just looked at each other as if reading each others thoughts for a while. Not saying anything . When we looked back down i closed my eyes feeling tears starting to form again. I heard Dan let out another weak sob and looked up to see his hands over his face, Teddy with a reassuring arm around his brothers shoulders. I never thought of Dan as the most emotional one, but i knew he had connected with Amy well as friends.
It felt like minutes passed as hours as i checked the time. It was going so slow, as if the world was in a dormant state. I would flick from looking at Amy, to watching Dan as he now peacefully slept to sitting talking to Ed. Elena was still asleep in the chair and Ali was trying not to dose off as he sat in the window ledge of the room, watching the street below.
As the time passed i hoped and prayed Amy would wake. My thoughts practically answered although it was a couple of hours later. I felt her body move slightly, as i looked up to her face, from her hand, i saw her eyes fluttering slightly. My heart almost skipped a beat as she slowly focused in to where she was, although looking a tad disorientated.
I squeezed her hand gently and she smiled at me, i instantly rose from the chair that had now moulded to the shape of my ass and kissed her cheek gently.
‘glad to see you awake.’
‘I’m glad to be awake, how long have i been... You know...?’
‘Ermm what five or six hours roughly i think.’
She nodded as she coughed a fair bit, obviously still having ash settled in her lungs. She looked up at my face, placing a gentle finger across one of the cuts i had received.
‘You shouldn’t of Alex, you got hurt. I don’t want to see you hurt.’
‘I... Couldn’t leave you. I ....Love You. I know you don’t feel the same though.’
I couldn’t sit there any longer and left the room with speed, tears streaming down my cheeks as the lyrics started to go through my mind again. As i had got up Amy’s face had turned to that of confusion, i wanted to know what she thought but i was to hurt to.
**************************************
Amy’s POV
‘I... Couldn’t leave you. I ....Love You. I know you don’t feel the same though.’
Alex’s words tore through me as he got up, running thorough the doors. I saw Ed shoot off after him as Dan settled on the edge of my bed rubbing my arm gently.
My mind was running on high, what did he mean i didn’t feel the same. What made him think that? I loved him, loved him with all my heart. He was the best thing i had ever had happen to me. What had caused this in the time i had been unconscious?
I felt an arm around my shoulders and looked up to see Dan had moved. As i looked around the room i saw everyone was watching my reaction except for Elena who was curled up in a chair fast asleep. My heart felt like it had shattered into pieces as the faces watched me think through what Alex had just said.
‘What was he unabout or referring to?’
No-one said anything and teddy moved toward the table that was near to my bed. He picked up a blue notebook and started toward me about to hand it to me. It was when his arm was outstretched toward me and as i took the book i realised it was mine, my lyric book. The one i had been jotting in as i sat on the bus just before the fire.
My mind started to work overtime them as realisation shot in. The last entry the lyrics i had written, the ones that were dark, but that weren’t about alex. It was cause of how amazing Alex was to me that i felt this way about another lad that was a previous boyfriend. One that had torn me down badly, damaged me beyond repair with relationships afterwards until i met Alex.
Now it finally started to make sense but i had to explain. I guessed the others had read it to, i needed Alex here whilst i explained though. To tell him the truth save him from beating himself up over this.
‘Dan, can you fetch Alex and Ed in here again please. I have something to explain.’
Dan nodded and quickly retreated from my side, the warmth of his body gone causing me to shudder slightly as Ali settled beside me instead, hugging me, something Ali rarely did.
My throat burned as i took in a deep breath. I read and re-read the page of words. So dark and something i thought wasn’t possible form such a loving girl. Was i really that bad to her. My heart had sunk to the bottom of my stomach now as the words spiralled in my mind. She wanted to die, wanted to be rid of life.
I felt Ed’s warm hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. Knowing that i was broken, shattered into a thousand pieces. My heart believed the words, my mind saying otherwise, determined to find the truth out from her lips. It was that which i was going to do, ask her.
I pulled myself together slightly and settled back next to her. Taking her fingers in mine again, the girl i loved. Her face was like that of a chine doll as she lay there, in her sleep like state. I watched her chest rise and fall gently feeling that if i moved to sharp her hand would break off in mine.
I looked across the bed to see Dan holding her other hand again now. I hadn’t noticed him enter the room again. Elena was sat in the chair in the corner of the room, her eyes closing as she slowly feel into a light sleep. Obviously all this had taken it’s toll on her. Ed walked over to place a blanket on her, keep her warm whilst she rested slightly. I looked back up to Dan, his blue eyes focusing on mine, his cheeks stained with tear tracks, bags starting to slowly form under his eyes.
We just looked at each other as if reading each others thoughts for a while. Not saying anything . When we looked back down i closed my eyes feeling tears starting to form again. I heard Dan let out another weak sob and looked up to see his hands over his face, Teddy with a reassuring arm around his brothers shoulders. I never thought of Dan as the most emotional one, but i knew he had connected with Amy well as friends.
It felt like minutes passed as hours as i checked the time. It was going so slow, as if the world was in a dormant state. I would flick from looking at Amy, to watching Dan as he now peacefully slept to sitting talking to Ed. Elena was still asleep in the chair and Ali was trying not to dose off as he sat in the window ledge of the room, watching the street below.
As the time passed i hoped and prayed Amy would wake. My thoughts practically answered although it was a couple of hours later. I felt her body move slightly, as i looked up to her face, from her hand, i saw her eyes fluttering slightly. My heart almost skipped a beat as she slowly focused in to where she was, although looking a tad disorientated.
I squeezed her hand gently and she smiled at me, i instantly rose from the chair that had now moulded to the shape of my ass and kissed her cheek gently.
‘glad to see you awake.’
‘I’m glad to be awake, how long have i been... You know...?’
‘Ermm what five or six hours roughly i think.’
She nodded as she coughed a fair bit, obviously still having ash settled in her lungs. She looked up at my face, placing a gentle finger across one of the cuts i had received.
‘You shouldn’t of Alex, you got hurt. I don’t want to see you hurt.’
‘I... Couldn’t leave you. I ....Love You. I know you don’t feel the same though.’
I couldn’t sit there any longer and left the room with speed, tears streaming down my cheeks as the lyrics started to go through my mind again. As i had got up Amy’s face had turned to that of confusion, i wanted to know what she thought but i was to hurt to.
**************************************
Amy’s POV
‘I... Couldn’t leave you. I ....Love You. I know you don’t feel the same though.’
Alex’s words tore through me as he got up, running thorough the doors. I saw Ed shoot off after him as Dan settled on the edge of my bed rubbing my arm gently.
My mind was running on high, what did he mean i didn’t feel the same. What made him think that? I loved him, loved him with all my heart. He was the best thing i had ever had happen to me. What had caused this in the time i had been unconscious?
I felt an arm around my shoulders and looked up to see Dan had moved. As i looked around the room i saw everyone was watching my reaction except for Elena who was curled up in a chair fast asleep. My heart felt like it had shattered into pieces as the faces watched me think through what Alex had just said.
‘What was he unabout or referring to?’
No-one said anything and teddy moved toward the table that was near to my bed. He picked up a blue notebook and started toward me about to hand it to me. It was when his arm was outstretched toward me and as i took the book i realised it was mine, my lyric book. The one i had been jotting in as i sat on the bus just before the fire.
My mind started to work overtime them as realisation shot in. The last entry the lyrics i had written, the ones that were dark, but that weren’t about alex. It was cause of how amazing Alex was to me that i felt this way about another lad that was a previous boyfriend. One that had torn me down badly, damaged me beyond repair with relationships afterwards until i met Alex.
Now it finally started to make sense but i had to explain. I guessed the others had read it to, i needed Alex here whilst i explained though. To tell him the truth save him from beating himself up over this.
‘Dan, can you fetch Alex and Ed in here again please. I have something to explain.’
Dan nodded and quickly retreated from my side, the warmth of his body gone causing me to shudder slightly as Ali settled beside me instead, hugging me, something Ali rarely did.