It's Not So Dark When We're Together
Thirty-Seven
Alex’s POV
I could feel someone calling my name, as i started to wake more i realised i was been rocked slightly. I opened my eyes to see a drawn back looking teddy knelt beside me.
“Alex, come on mate, we’ve got to get to your appointment.”
Just those words alone bought back all the memories of what happened yesterday, bringing back the nightmare I’d had last night. The nightmare in which i had bought my girlfriend and best friend to the brink of death, both bloody and out cold in front of me. I looked down at my hands to see scratch marks running down my hands, like i had tried scratching the blood form my dream of in my sleep. Teddy looked at my hands to as i sighed with relief that i hadn’t hurt anyone last night.
I got up and sat there with a mug of coffee teddy had bought whilst he went to fetch me some clean clothes. I ruffled my hair before flattening it down into a somewhat neater look before washing my face, having a quick shave etc. Once i was done i placed on my shoes and jacket and headed out to teddy’s car, him heading around to the drivers side. I could feels nerves building up in my stomach, thy would refer me to some mental hospital i knew it. I was dangerous now i had gone for my best friend and girlfriend.
“Alex, don’t look so nervous it will be fine. They will just talk to you about you feel and stuff, how you felt when you saw what was happening between those two.”
“I should of been able to reason with their actions though, like Elena did, she understood that it was cause of the upset form both arguments, because they were comforting each other when it was usually their partner able to comfort them. Instead i swung out at them both and got to violent, violence that I’ve never had before.”
“Don’t worry Alex honestly, it will be fine.”
We pulled up then and i got out the car, following teddy into the building. He spoke to the receptionist who told us to take a seat and we sat there waiting. I couldn’t help but keep looking at the clock. Then my mind started to wonder, how did Amy’s night go, i knew Dan would of spent the night with her for reassurance. How was Ed was he any better today? My mind was running overtime in thoughts that i didn’t hear my name get called out until i saw that teddy was stood up looking at me, snapping me from my thoughts.
I stood up following behind playing with my fringe and tugging on it along the side of my face. We entered the office the doctor sitting behind his desk showing me to a chair in front of it where teddy sat on one at the back of the room. I looked into the doctors eyes and waited for him to speak.
“So Mr Davies, Mr Hetherton has informed of what happened and i would like to know your feelings throughout that incident and also how you felt afterwards and feel now.”
“I....i was angry, extremely angry when i saw them both, i felt pain to. Pain of having my heart broken the same it was in my first ever relationship. It was worse though because this time it was with my best friend. The anger i had felt was like none i had felt before, spurring my actions without my body been able to control what i did. I felt i had lost control completely. After i realised what i had done i felt sorrow, seeing what i had caused, upset and disappointment in myself for what i had caused on the two people i care most about. That anger was still bubbling underneath just not as strong. Last night however after my anger had died away completely i was upset a lot more. I could see what wrong i had caused, i can fee how i have hurt them and when my girlfriend showed the fear toward me it really sunk in. It hurt me to see how i had hurt her, like i was been stabbed in the heart. I just feel upset and confusion now, i don’t know what came over me i need help, please.”
“Mr Davies you said the pain of having your heart broken again in the same way? Please explain”
“My first true girlfriend, i loved her at the time the i discovered for a year of us been together she was seeing some guy behind my back whenever i was busy. It hurt then but this time it was worse because it was my best friend she was kissing.”
“It seems that the pain from that first time was reflected in what happened this time, that is why your mind didn’t relate to the fact they were both upset. That is probably what fuelled the anger you got. Do you feel you would get that anger again upon seeing them?”
“No i just want to apologise and it to blow over, i know I’ve got work to do with that though.”
“Well i can put you on a weeks dose of tablets that will help keep your anger levels low, the only side issue is that for the next week you shall be extremely drowsy and sleepy cause of them and so i must inform you of no driving or operating anything heavy or dangerous.”
“OK, thank you doctor.”
I shook his hand taking the bottle of tablets from his hand.
“Take one once you get home, then one each morning please. I wish you look with the apologies. I’m sure Mr Hetherton here will help you out and explain everything.”
I nod thanking him again, teddy also thanking him as we left his office. We headed straight for the car me resting my head back against the seats headrest. I let out a long sigh whilst teddy got settled in the drivers seat.
“It wasn’t that bad, told you it would be ok Lex, don’t worry i will help you explain, i promise, i will work with amy and see if i can get Elena to calm down a little.”
“Thanks Ted’s, it’s not Elena I’m worried about right now though, it’s Dan. He’s going to be really protective over Amy after what’s happened and really weary of me.”
“He’s my brother i know ways around him. Don’t worry Lex i will help as best as i can, when we get in let’s take the tablet and then head up to Amy and see if she will at least sit in the same room as you whilst you start to explain. Make a start that way?”
“yeah ok then.”
Just before teddy pulled the car out the car park he received a phone call from Dan. It was the call he had bee waiting for based on the hospital visit last night. It must of taken them a long time to get seen since they had just got home and it was 12 pm now. Unless they had gone this morning allowing Amy to sleep last night first.
“They’ve had the x-ray results back they didn’t go up until this morning, Amy’s left wrist is fractured and in thick bandaging for 4 weeks. The other wrist is just bruised and is fine.”
I gulped and rubbed my forehead with the tips of my index finger and thumb, i had fractured her wrist with my force, i was into be hated for a while.
Once we got into the house i headed to the kitchen taking the tablet before heading into my room, i placed the bottle on my bedside before meeting teddy outside the door. He led me into Dan’s room where Amy was curled up under Dan’s arm watching the door wearily. Dan’s eyes burned into mine and i looked down to the floor ashamed of myself.
“Daniel, back off. I’ve spoken to you already now please, Alex has sorted out the underlying issue for the anger.”
“It’s true and once i realised what i had done i was distraught. If there was one person i didn’t want to hurt ever it was you Amy. You have been the best thing to have in my life and if it wasn’t for you i don’t know where i would be on this earth. I know your petrified of me right now and your in the right mind to be, i shouldn’t of lashed out at you and Ed like i did. I realised that mere seconds after i had. I’m so sorry for what i did to you. I know I’ve fractured your wrist and it’s something you won’t ever forget but I’m sorry. I didn’t realise i had that strength in me at all. I care about you Amy and i wish i hadn’t had that argument with you and upset you with accusations. I understand that you were telling the truth now, when i saw you kissing Ed it hurt, a lot. It took me back to when the girl i had once loved, my first girlfriend had been cheating on me for a year, with it been my best friend to that tore me apart. I can’t make excuses for myself but that is what caused the anger build up so bad. I’m on tablets for a week now after that i shall be back to normal. I love you amy and i never want to lose you, even though i probably already have, you mean everything to me. I don’t expect you to forgive me ever but i want you to know that all the apologies in the world couldn’t make up for what I’ve done to you or Ed and I’m sorry for all the hurt I’ve caused you. Please just take my words into consideration at least.”
I looked into her eyes, tears visible in my own. I didn’t stop them i just let them flow down my cheeks. Tears were flowing down her cheeks to, Dan wiping them away delicately with his thumb. The way i would of if it was my arms she was crying in. She nodded in agreement to what i had said last.
“I...will alex. I’m sorry to i shouldn’t of in the first place. It’s me and ed kissing that caused you to lash out, i deserve worse than a broken wrist, it should be you forgiving me.”
“Don’t Amy. It’s me who has to apologise i should of seen how it came to you to kissing, should of understood like Elena did. I didn’t though and instead look at what I’ve done, Ed’s lay in bed in a bad way and your unable to work for four weeks at least unless it’s stuff you can do one handed. I’m in the wrong.”
She stayed silent then just watching me as i wiped my eyes. Teddy put an hand on my shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze, i yawned feeling drowsy already and teddy walked me out and into my own room. I settled into my bed still fully clothe d and within minutes felt my eyes close. I just hoped she would forgive me over time, prayed in fact, i knew my next job was explaining to Elena but first sleep was what i needed.
I could feel someone calling my name, as i started to wake more i realised i was been rocked slightly. I opened my eyes to see a drawn back looking teddy knelt beside me.
“Alex, come on mate, we’ve got to get to your appointment.”
Just those words alone bought back all the memories of what happened yesterday, bringing back the nightmare I’d had last night. The nightmare in which i had bought my girlfriend and best friend to the brink of death, both bloody and out cold in front of me. I looked down at my hands to see scratch marks running down my hands, like i had tried scratching the blood form my dream of in my sleep. Teddy looked at my hands to as i sighed with relief that i hadn’t hurt anyone last night.
I got up and sat there with a mug of coffee teddy had bought whilst he went to fetch me some clean clothes. I ruffled my hair before flattening it down into a somewhat neater look before washing my face, having a quick shave etc. Once i was done i placed on my shoes and jacket and headed out to teddy’s car, him heading around to the drivers side. I could feels nerves building up in my stomach, thy would refer me to some mental hospital i knew it. I was dangerous now i had gone for my best friend and girlfriend.
“Alex, don’t look so nervous it will be fine. They will just talk to you about you feel and stuff, how you felt when you saw what was happening between those two.”
“I should of been able to reason with their actions though, like Elena did, she understood that it was cause of the upset form both arguments, because they were comforting each other when it was usually their partner able to comfort them. Instead i swung out at them both and got to violent, violence that I’ve never had before.”
“Don’t worry Alex honestly, it will be fine.”
We pulled up then and i got out the car, following teddy into the building. He spoke to the receptionist who told us to take a seat and we sat there waiting. I couldn’t help but keep looking at the clock. Then my mind started to wonder, how did Amy’s night go, i knew Dan would of spent the night with her for reassurance. How was Ed was he any better today? My mind was running overtime in thoughts that i didn’t hear my name get called out until i saw that teddy was stood up looking at me, snapping me from my thoughts.
I stood up following behind playing with my fringe and tugging on it along the side of my face. We entered the office the doctor sitting behind his desk showing me to a chair in front of it where teddy sat on one at the back of the room. I looked into the doctors eyes and waited for him to speak.
“So Mr Davies, Mr Hetherton has informed of what happened and i would like to know your feelings throughout that incident and also how you felt afterwards and feel now.”
“I....i was angry, extremely angry when i saw them both, i felt pain to. Pain of having my heart broken the same it was in my first ever relationship. It was worse though because this time it was with my best friend. The anger i had felt was like none i had felt before, spurring my actions without my body been able to control what i did. I felt i had lost control completely. After i realised what i had done i felt sorrow, seeing what i had caused, upset and disappointment in myself for what i had caused on the two people i care most about. That anger was still bubbling underneath just not as strong. Last night however after my anger had died away completely i was upset a lot more. I could see what wrong i had caused, i can fee how i have hurt them and when my girlfriend showed the fear toward me it really sunk in. It hurt me to see how i had hurt her, like i was been stabbed in the heart. I just feel upset and confusion now, i don’t know what came over me i need help, please.”
“Mr Davies you said the pain of having your heart broken again in the same way? Please explain”
“My first true girlfriend, i loved her at the time the i discovered for a year of us been together she was seeing some guy behind my back whenever i was busy. It hurt then but this time it was worse because it was my best friend she was kissing.”
“It seems that the pain from that first time was reflected in what happened this time, that is why your mind didn’t relate to the fact they were both upset. That is probably what fuelled the anger you got. Do you feel you would get that anger again upon seeing them?”
“No i just want to apologise and it to blow over, i know I’ve got work to do with that though.”
“Well i can put you on a weeks dose of tablets that will help keep your anger levels low, the only side issue is that for the next week you shall be extremely drowsy and sleepy cause of them and so i must inform you of no driving or operating anything heavy or dangerous.”
“OK, thank you doctor.”
I shook his hand taking the bottle of tablets from his hand.
“Take one once you get home, then one each morning please. I wish you look with the apologies. I’m sure Mr Hetherton here will help you out and explain everything.”
I nod thanking him again, teddy also thanking him as we left his office. We headed straight for the car me resting my head back against the seats headrest. I let out a long sigh whilst teddy got settled in the drivers seat.
“It wasn’t that bad, told you it would be ok Lex, don’t worry i will help you explain, i promise, i will work with amy and see if i can get Elena to calm down a little.”
“Thanks Ted’s, it’s not Elena I’m worried about right now though, it’s Dan. He’s going to be really protective over Amy after what’s happened and really weary of me.”
“He’s my brother i know ways around him. Don’t worry Lex i will help as best as i can, when we get in let’s take the tablet and then head up to Amy and see if she will at least sit in the same room as you whilst you start to explain. Make a start that way?”
“yeah ok then.”
Just before teddy pulled the car out the car park he received a phone call from Dan. It was the call he had bee waiting for based on the hospital visit last night. It must of taken them a long time to get seen since they had just got home and it was 12 pm now. Unless they had gone this morning allowing Amy to sleep last night first.
“They’ve had the x-ray results back they didn’t go up until this morning, Amy’s left wrist is fractured and in thick bandaging for 4 weeks. The other wrist is just bruised and is fine.”
I gulped and rubbed my forehead with the tips of my index finger and thumb, i had fractured her wrist with my force, i was into be hated for a while.
Once we got into the house i headed to the kitchen taking the tablet before heading into my room, i placed the bottle on my bedside before meeting teddy outside the door. He led me into Dan’s room where Amy was curled up under Dan’s arm watching the door wearily. Dan’s eyes burned into mine and i looked down to the floor ashamed of myself.
“Daniel, back off. I’ve spoken to you already now please, Alex has sorted out the underlying issue for the anger.”
“It’s true and once i realised what i had done i was distraught. If there was one person i didn’t want to hurt ever it was you Amy. You have been the best thing to have in my life and if it wasn’t for you i don’t know where i would be on this earth. I know your petrified of me right now and your in the right mind to be, i shouldn’t of lashed out at you and Ed like i did. I realised that mere seconds after i had. I’m so sorry for what i did to you. I know I’ve fractured your wrist and it’s something you won’t ever forget but I’m sorry. I didn’t realise i had that strength in me at all. I care about you Amy and i wish i hadn’t had that argument with you and upset you with accusations. I understand that you were telling the truth now, when i saw you kissing Ed it hurt, a lot. It took me back to when the girl i had once loved, my first girlfriend had been cheating on me for a year, with it been my best friend to that tore me apart. I can’t make excuses for myself but that is what caused the anger build up so bad. I’m on tablets for a week now after that i shall be back to normal. I love you amy and i never want to lose you, even though i probably already have, you mean everything to me. I don’t expect you to forgive me ever but i want you to know that all the apologies in the world couldn’t make up for what I’ve done to you or Ed and I’m sorry for all the hurt I’ve caused you. Please just take my words into consideration at least.”
I looked into her eyes, tears visible in my own. I didn’t stop them i just let them flow down my cheeks. Tears were flowing down her cheeks to, Dan wiping them away delicately with his thumb. The way i would of if it was my arms she was crying in. She nodded in agreement to what i had said last.
“I...will alex. I’m sorry to i shouldn’t of in the first place. It’s me and ed kissing that caused you to lash out, i deserve worse than a broken wrist, it should be you forgiving me.”
“Don’t Amy. It’s me who has to apologise i should of seen how it came to you to kissing, should of understood like Elena did. I didn’t though and instead look at what I’ve done, Ed’s lay in bed in a bad way and your unable to work for four weeks at least unless it’s stuff you can do one handed. I’m in the wrong.”
She stayed silent then just watching me as i wiped my eyes. Teddy put an hand on my shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze, i yawned feeling drowsy already and teddy walked me out and into my own room. I settled into my bed still fully clothe d and within minutes felt my eyes close. I just hoped she would forgive me over time, prayed in fact, i knew my next job was explaining to Elena but first sleep was what i needed.