Goodbye

I shouldn’t say it surprised me when I walked out of school after last period, and saw Justin’s Range Rover parked next to the curb, his tall figure leaning against it with his arms crossed. I rolled my eyes and walked down the steps, walking pointedly away from where he was until a hand wrapped around my elbow, stopping me.

“Let me go, creep!” I spat, turning and staring straight into Justin’s eyes.

“Nat, that hurts” I said nothing, just yanked my arm back and crossed it with my other one over my chest.

“Um, well good. You are a creep. Why are you even here?” I asked. He smiled crookedly and leaned back a bit, relaxing his posture.

“I just wanted to give you a ride home. And I wanted to talk about what happened on Saturday.” He said quietly, trying not to pay attention to the numerous people staring at us; Andrea included.

“So in other words, you don’t want to drive me home. You want to drive me to the middle of nowhere so that we can talk without me getting frustrated and walking home instead, and then you’re going to drive me home.” He just smirked and I rolled my eyes, pushing past him. “No thanks, I have better things to do”

But he grabbed my arm again, his eyes pleading. “Please Nat?”

I sighed and pulled my arm away again.

“Fine. You have an hour.” I said, before I stomped childishly to his car, getting into the passenger side and doing up my seatbelt while he sauntered over.

---

Justin parked the Range Rover in the middle of a deserted parking lot by the beach, far away from where I lived; thus proving me right about what I had said earlier. He wanted to make it hard for me to just get out and leave.

“I’m sorry about what I said”

I stared at him, then sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I didn’t want him to be sorry. I wanted him to tell me what he was right, and that I needed to get over myself before I lost him for good. But he had too big a heart to say that to me. He was too much of a gentleman to say something that would hurt my feelings… On purpose, I mean. Occasionally, he would say something by accident that made me upset, but never on purpose. I now had to make a decision. Was I going to swallow my pride, or continue pushing Justin away until he finally gave up.

“That’s not what I want you to be sorry about, Justin” I said, no emotion on my face as I undid my seatbelt and turned to look at him. He furrowed his eyebrows and turned to face me as well, confusion on his face.

“Okay, well… Then you do want me to apologize for something, right? I can tell by the look on your face, I’ve done something wrong. So for what? For showing up at your school today? For grabbing you? For… leaving?” I felt tears form in my eyes at the last part.

“Leaving when, Justin? Two years ago, or Saturday?” I asked, a tear sliding down my cheek.

“Nat, y-you told me to leave on Saturday, I just…” I shook my head.

“We were friends for how many years before you left? How many? You should know by now, that when I say leave, that means do what you used to do when I was upset. It meant hold me in your arms, tell me to shut up when I’m being irrational, tell me when I’m wrong and tell me to stop being so full of myself and just let you back in. You should know by now I wont ever admit I’m wrong by myself. But I guess you forgot…” I wiped my face on the sleeve of my shirt and refused to look at Justin.

“I just… I didn’t think. I wanted to feel… Like I was worthy of your friendship Nat” He said quietly. Finally I turned back to him and stared straight at his face.

“Why, because I’m so freaking worthy of you? Because I made you feel like crap about something you had no choice about? Because I made you leave when all you wanted was to get back in? Because you try doing nice things for me, and I wont let you? You should be… Saying stuff like, ‘Nat just forgive me for leaving before I realize how stupid, and unworthy of me you are and leave again’. Not stuff like ‘Nat, I’m not a good friend, I’ll make it up to you, blah blah blah”

Justin stared at me, then cracked a small smile. “So I could have made this easier on myself?”

I nodded and took the tissue he held out to me.

“Okay. I’m sorry for leaving on Saturday. I’m sorry for letting you be in charge of everything. I’m sorry that I never kept in contact. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve ever done to hurt you, now forgive me before I dump you out of this car and drive away.”

“No”

“Natasha, forgive me”

“No”

“Do it. Forgive me”

“Why should I?” He laughed and leaned his head back against the headrest.

“Jeez, you’re a complicated girl…”

“Tell me exactly why I should forgive you, and just trust everything you say” I said. I knew I was confusing him, but I was searching. I wanted to know just how much I meant to him going back into this.

Justin shifted in his seat and then leaned over the middle console, staring straight into my eyes.

“Because Natasha, I love you. Now forgive me.”

I stared at him, my breathing coming out choppy.

“No” But my tone of voice gave me away. Justin knew he had me, and smiled, his hands cupping my cheeks before he leaned in those last few inches and kissed me.