Goodbye

The countdown had begun. Every day, my retard of a best friend would bring up the concert, reminding me how many more days there were until I was forced to meet face to face with my ex best friend, my ex first love. Now that’s not to say that I didn’t still love him, but I hadn’t seen him in a long time. Both of us had definitely changed physically, and although I didn’t change too much personality wise, just a little bit harder to get to know; Justin may have, and I would have no way of knowing until I saw him. Even then, would he remember me? Or would he offer me a smile, a hug and a free t-shirt, before walking out of my life like he did two years ago? There was no way of knowing if he would recognize me, or if I would just be another face in the crowd to him. All I knew, was that I sincerely hoped I could make it through the entire concert and back-stage meet and greet thing, without breaking down.

I sighed and opened the door to my locker, putting my books inside before I glanced at the exit door at the end of the hall. Outside it was dull, dark, and gray. There was rain pounding down on the concrete; almost as if it were foreshadowing my upcoming doom. It always rained before something bad happened to me, I had noticed. Or maybe it was just a coincidence.

“Natasha, am I shaking?” Andrea asked, popping up beside me with her hand outstretched in front of her. I blinked a few times and pulled my attention from the icky weather I would soon have to surround myself with, and stared at my best friends still hand… Justin never asked me stupid questions like that. He would ask if his tongue was red after eating a fruit roll up, or if his hair looked stupid after getting a new hair cut, or what I thought of his new shoes. Never stupidly obvious things like ‘is my hand shaking’ when it obviously wasn’t.

“No, Drea, it’s not” I said with a sigh. She smirked and then continued to shove her hand into my face.

“Is it shaking now? See, it’s shaking now. Do you know why? Because I just started thinking about the concert, and I wasn’t before. I wasn’t thinking about it before and now I am; so I started shaking” She rambled on.

“Andrea, you’re making it shake” I said as I shoved my hands into the pockets of my sweater, wanting to hide the fact that I was shaking at the thought of seeing him again. If he were to ask me what I thought of his shoes now, I would undoubtedly say that he had way too much money and needed to stop buying so many freaking shoes. He was starting to act more like me, and it was getting scary.

“Kill joy. Anyway! Concert! Four days! Eeeeee! Can you believe it?” She asked as we walked through the crowded halls towards the door.

“Nope” I said, popping the ‘p’. Andrea gave me a dirty look and then focused on whatever was written on her hand, rather than trying to create conversation with me. Not that I minded. To be honest, I wasn’t at all in the mood to listen to her ramble; especially not about the concert, that I was in fact, dreading. The nearer it got, the brighter that light at the end of the tunnel got. And the worst part? If he were to remember me, it would still end badly, undoubtedly. Because even if all went well with the popstar, the real diva in the room would definitely be Andrea; who would be all kinds of pissed if she found out that Justin and I had been friends all along, and I had never told her. But would she have even believed me?

No, probably not. Sometimes, I even found it hard to believe.