Save the Day

The days before the start of tour blurred together and went quickly. The album was produced and mixed as the Jonases ran between the studio, the press, and tour rehearsals. Honestly, I didn’t know how they could stay awake from all the work they accomplished in a few short days. I know I wouldn’t be able to do it; I could barely handle the stress from the press following me.

They followed me everywhere I went – work, home, the freaking grocery store! Every one of them, throwing questions at me that I left unanswered. I rarely got a moment alone. I was slowly becoming famous by association. People recognize me when I go out; they gawk and sometimes glare. One of the only reasons I was excited about going on tour was to get away from it all.

But I knew it wasn’t going to be that simple. I just wished, prayed that it was.

“Are you sure you’re going to be fine alone on the bus Morgan?” My uncle asked me for the fifteenth time.

I rolled my eyes and tore my gaze away from the sky out the window. “Uncle John, I’ve been alone most of my life. I think I’ll be fine.”

He smiled grimly; looking dissatisfied with my answer. “Okay… but if you need anything, I’ll be there instantly.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise.” I reassured him and turned my attention back to the world outside the airplane’s window. We were on our way to the first city – the starting point of tour somewhere in Illinois. Uncle John has been nervous about the sleeping arrangements since he was told about them. The Jonases had their own family bus, but with one extra bunk since Kevin was getting one for he and his new wife, Danielle. Demi (who was on tour with them) had her own bus for her and her family. Then there were other buses for Alyson Stoner, Anna Maria Perez deTagle, Jordan ‘J-Man’ Francis, and Matthew ‘Mdot’ Finley who star in some movie that they’re in with the Jonas Brothers and Demi. So, the only place for me was the recording studio bus; and that’s where I (happily) was going live for the next few months.

I gratefully took this placement. I would be surrounded by music constantly and I would be alone. I wouldn’t have to deal with the constant ‘competition’ for my attention by Nick and Joe all the time. I would be allowed to be 100% myself. And that’s what I really needed.

Since I moved out to L.A., I’ve been guarded. I put up my usual façade that a lot of people thought was me, but it really isn’t. But after all of the things I’ve been through, who wouldn’t do that? The only thing that scared me the most… the Jonas boys were slowly chipping away at that façade.

I tried to stop thinking and placed my forehead on the cold window, closing my eyes. I let the roar of the engine surround me as I took deep, even breaths.

“Morgan,” A soft voice appeared suddenly in my thoughts. My eyes reluctantly opened and peered over to my new neighbor. “Sorry to wake you.” He said softly.

"I wasn’t sleeping,” I told him, facing him completely.

Nick smiled, “Good, ‘cause I wanted to talk to you.”

I raised an eyebrow as I placed my back against the wall of the plane, bringing my feet up on the seat; wrapping my arms around my knees. “Okay…”

He took that as a signal to start, so he did. “I’m sorry if I pressured you into singing your song the other day. But I –”

“You didn’t pressure me into it.” I said, interrupting him. “If I didn’t want to sing it, I wouldn’t have sung it. It’s as simple as that.” I continued, but kept my gaze away from his own.

“Really? Because I can’t help but sense that I did.”

“Why?”

“For starters, we haven’t talked since that morning. And the fact that you aren’t looking at me now is a huge red flag.” He said fiercely.

“I am looking at you.” I argued. I wasn’t lying, I was ‘admiring’ his orange polo he was wearing.

“Not straight at me,” he said, his voice returning to its soft tone. He reached up and grabbed my chin, lifting my face to meet his. I diverted my eyes quickly, but didn’t try to escape his grasp. “Why can’t you tell me what’s bothering you?” His question was met with silence. “Why can’t you look me in the eyes?” Nick demanded as he shifted closer to me. “What did I do?”

“Nothing,” I answered, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Then why can’t you look at me?” He asked again, his tone desperate.

I sighed, closing my eyes in an attempt to not let my forming tears fall. “You scare me, Nick.” I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me… again.

I could feel the shock ripple off his body. “Wh-what?” He stuttered.

I opened my eyes and looked directly at him, “You scare me. Within the past month you’ve been able to get me to do things, tell you things that people I’ve known for years don’t even know. And you didn’t force anything, it all came out naturally. And it scares me Nick. It scares me more than you’ll ever know.” I replied, silent tears streaming down my face.

His eyes searched mine before lifting up the arm rest that lied between us and pulled me towards him. My legs extended as I sat partially on his lap, my arms wrapped around his torso. My head rested against his chest as Nick wrapped his arms around me comfortingly. “Sh,” He whispered into my ear, his breath gently tickling the base of my neck. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” I mumbled into his shirt. “I just don’t know what’s happening.” I said, clinging to him more.

He rubbed circles on my back in attempt to calm me down. “You’re letting someone get close to you.” Nick explained calmly. “Now, I don’t know what happened to you in the past. And you don’t have to tell me now or even ever if you don’t want to. But you need to know that nothing’s going to happen here. You are safe.”

“I’m not doubting my safety.” I said more assertively. I stopped crying, but didn’t release my grip around him. “I’m just so used to people leaving me; I just don’t want it to happen again.”

“Morgan,” Nick said, causing me to look up at him. His face was about two inches from my own, his eyes softly gazing down at me. “I’m not going anywhere. No matter what, I’ll always be here.” He said, his eyes full of promise.

I couldn’t help but believe him. “Thank you.” I said softly, returning my head to his chest, hugging him tightly.

I felt him lay his chin on top of my head as he hugged me back. “Anytime.” He said, stroking my hair.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re about to land so please return to your seats and buckle up.” The pilot said over the intercom system.

Reluctantly, I unwrapped myself from Nick and sat straight up in my seat. Nick stayed in the seat next to me and laced his fingers through mine in the space between us.

***

The positive about flying in a private plane: privacy for more than three minutes. The negative about flying in a private plane: everyone knows who you are once you land.

As soon as we got off the plane, we were surrounded by people and paparazzi. Nick let go of my hand before we departed the plane; but he and Joe stood behind me, guiding me to our ride to the venue. I kept my head down and tried to push through the crowds as best as I could; all the while trying to suppress the feeling to break down. I was not one to be the center of attention.

“Are you okay?” Joe asked once we got inside the car.

My eyes darted towards him as I continued to steady my breathing. “I’ll be fine.” I said, trying to give him a reassuring smile.

He gave me a curious look but dropped the subject, turning to Kevin and started talking about where we were.

“Are you really okay?” Nick whispered from beside me.

“Yeah,” I said meekly. “I’m fine.” My breathing finally went back to normal, allowing my statement to be validated. He nodded, knowing not to push me any further and joined in the conversation with his brothers.

I took the brief solidarity gratefully. I turned my head towards the passing cars on the highway next to us. Truthfully, I didn’t know if I was fine. Yes, I was shaken up about the massive amount of people around me at the airport, but that’s not what I was still shaken about. I couldn’t believe Nick got me to open up like that again. It’s just so easy to talk to him and he’s there and calming, soothing. I feel safe around him; I feel like I belong when I’m with him. I’m just afraid that one day he’ll get me to say something that I don’t want him to know. And every time I talk to him, more and more of what I keep hidden comes up; I just want it to stay down.

“Alright guys, we’re here.” Mr. Jonas said to us as we pulled into a parking lot next to an amphitheater.

Slowly, each one of us got out of the car and walked into the venue. Mr. Jonas led us to an empty room somewhere backstage and began speaking to the boys. “Okay, your sound check is in about an hour, they’re setting up the live chat now for Cambio, so I’ll let you know when it’s ready.” The brothers nodded and began searching the room.

“Live chat?” I said confused. “I didn’t know you were doing a live chat.”

“We were talking about it on the car ride here.” Kevin said. “Didn’t you hear us?”

I shrugged, “I wasn’t really paying attention to what you guys were talking about. I had other things on my mind.” I said, quickly flashing my glance towards Nick.

“What does that pretty little head of yours have to be thinking about?” Joe asked slinging an arm around my shoulders loosely.

“Nothing that concerns you, Joseph.” I answered, looking up at him.

He smirked, “Feisty. I like it.” He said and nudged me with his hip. I just rolled my eyes as I scoffed.

“You can join us if you want.” Nick suggested.

I turned my head towards him. The tone of his voice was casual, but there was an emotion on his face I just couldn’t read. He was hiding it well enough to be unreadable, but not undetectable. “Maybe,” I answered finally. “We’ll see.”

Mr. Jonas returned, telling the boys that it was all set up. He led us (Joe literally dragged me with them) to another room backstage where a computer was set up on a table in front of a couch. Kevin, Nick, and Joe situated themselves on the couch and began the chat with however many girls were watching. I knew that leaving the room would bring me unwanted attention, so I sat on the floor behind the computer and watched them ‘interact’ with their fans.

I slowly became bored listening to them talk about themselves, so I took out my phone. Thankfully I had an iPhone, so I could go on Twitter. Time to have some fun, I though as I typed away on my phone.

All of a sudden, Kevin started laughing randomly while Joe was in the middle of his sentence. “Sorry Joe, but I have to say this.” He said interrupting his brother, looking at the iPad in his hands. “Nick, someone here says you smell.” He continued as both he and Joe started laughing hysterically.

I sat in my place, trying to keep my laughed as quiet as possible as Nick tried to defend himself. “Um… I’m pretty sure I do not smell. I usually smell pretty good, right Kev?”

Kevin leaned closer to Nick, “I don’t know man.” Tears were streaming down my face as I struggled to keep silent. It didn’t help that I heard Mr. Jonas starting to laugh behind me.

“What!?” Nick exclaimed and his eyes landed on me. “Morgan, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.” I said, trying to control my laughed. “I never said you smelt bad, you made that assumption on your own.”

“Guys, we’re still on. Bicker later.” Kevin suggested, a smile still on his face. “Come join us Morgan. They all want to see the face behind the voice.”

Instantly, I shook my head ‘no’.

“Please, for the fans.” He begged, Joe and Nick joining in quickly.

Sighing, I reluctantly stood up and sat on the couch between Nick and Joe. “I hate you.” I murmured to Nick.

“What? What did I do?”

“You brought me into the conversation. Blaming me for your smelling problems.”

“Only because you were the one who said that. You admitted it!”

“Only because you accused me!” I retorted.

“Guys! Really? You’re going to do this now?” Joe asked as he laughed.

“Apparently, seeing as he started it.” I answered, narrowing my eyes.

“I didn’t –”

“Anyway!” Kevin said loudly before Nick and I could continue. “Morgan, why are you coming on tour with us this summer?”

“Because my uncle made me.” I answered simply, a smile tugging at my lips.

“Psh, like you didn’t want to come.” Joe said.

“I didn’t actually.” I admitted. “I was counting down the days until you guys were leaving, so my life would go back to normal.”

“Normal? Psh,” Joe scoffed. “There’s no such thing as ‘normal’. Especially with us three.”

“Yeah,” I said, pointing to the spazzing iPad in Kevin’s hands as it kept reloading, adding more tweets. “I can see that.”