Time

The phone was pressed against my ear. I sat on the end of my bed, my leg bouncing up and down. My hair was messy from me running my hands through it so much. My clothes were wrinkled and beginning to smell. I was a mess. I had been that way for two days.

It had been two days since Star broke up with me. She left me two days ago, and I was a mess ever since. I could still here her words swimming around in my head.

How come you don’t make time for me anymore?

The phone rang in my ear. I needed to talk to her. I needed to tell her how much she meant to me. I needed to tell her that I would make time for her. If she would simply come back to me, then things would change. Things would be better.

Hey this is your favorite Star. I’m too busy shinning right now to answer the phone, so leave me a message and I’ll try and shine on you two. Bye!!

I sighed as I slowly pulled the phone away from my ear. There was no point in leaving a message. I had already left her more than five.

I took too long, I took too much time. I learned from my mistakes, but I took too much time. She was already gone.

I fell back onto the bed, the phone still in my hand. I stared at the white ceiling as I sighed once more.

Why couldn’t I just make time for her? I could have put my work behind me and paid attention to me. But, I didn’t and now she’s gone. Her love was a priority to me. All I could think about was work. I thought of so many other things before I thought about her. I guess I was use to her being there. She was always there for me, no matter what.

And now it’s too much too little and she’s so far away. I can’t just tell her how I feel because she won’t answer my calls. All that’s left are the busy calls on her phone and her voicemail.

I looked at my phone. She was still the wallpaper on my screen. She was doing her work for grad school when I took the picture. Her brown hair was pulled back into a messy bun, and she was wearing her glass. She was wearing one of my navy blue hoodies as she smiled at the camera. Her dark brown orbs were filled with happiness as she smiled.

I closed my eyes. How could I let her slip through my fingers? Why didn’t I just give her the time that she deserved? I wouldn’t be alone right now if I had.

I should have realized how great she was when I had her. She was always there for me. She would drop anything for me. She took care of me, not to mention how understanding she was. She was everything, she was perfect but now she’s gone. She’s moved on.

I found myself dialing her familiar digits once more. I pulled the phone up to my ear as I listened to it ring. I was hoping that my time wasn’t completely up. I needed just a few more minutes. Just enough time to tell her how I felt, to tell her that I missed her.

On the third ring she answered with a sigh. I immediately sat upright on the bed. I couldn’t believe that she had finally answered the phone.

“Star please don’t hang up look I’m sorry—”

“Don’t,” she interrupted.

“In the time that it takes for you to dial the phone, my phone, that many times, you didn’t once think about the fact that you could have used that same effort into moving on. This just proves that you could have loved me……but you didn’t. You never gave me any attention because you didn’t love me. You never have and you never will,”

“Star don’t say that,” I pleaded. “Baby I’m sorry. I’ve realized everything that I did wrong. Baby I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have lost you. I should have given you more time. I should have realized your greatness. Baby I love you. I want to be with you,”

She sighed once more. Silence fell between us, only making this situation more awkward. I was hoping that she was thinking over taking me back. I needed her. I needed her more than I’ve ever needed anyone.

She took a deep breath before she spoke. She then said the words that I never wanted to hear.

“Hang up the phone”