Journey to the Past

“SPILL!” I yelled.

“Ohmygod shutup why are you like your mother…”

“Spill or I’ll pee on the floor,” Vinnie threatened.

“Why are you like your dad?”

Vinnie and I were now bugging dad to death about Ms. Myers who was apparently a miss Brenda Myers who almost made dad pee himself. This has got to be good. We followed him around the house as he raged around like a stomping giant—well, he does have his gazelle legs—Scout was amused every time he walked by the kitchen and groaned at mine and Vinnie’s obnoxious pleading of a sure to be good story of yesteryear…

After another few laps around the house and chasing after dad—we may as well have been hugging his legs like small children as he stomped away from us—he growled and turned to us. “OKAY! JESUS! Story time. Go get marshmallows—unless you destroyed them all last night—and go sit on a bed.” Vinnie and I smiled and ran outside and grabbed the bag of marshmallows—or what was left of it—and ran back into the house and into Vinnie’s bedroom. We plopped on the bed and sat together like little kids. Dad came in and groaned exaggeratedly. “You guys are so annoying,” He said but had a smile on his face.

“Sarcastic spitfuck,” I said.

Dad looked up at me and then at Vinnie. “Vinnie, you’re grounded.”

“WHAT?!” He yelled, his arms out in astonishment.

“You probably taught her that,”

I pointed at Vinnie and laughed. He smacked my hand away and I thumped the back of his head. He gasped loudly. “AOWH!” He yelled in shock. I laughed and he pouted at me. Dad sighed loudly and we shut up.

“Now,” he looked up in thought. “Back when I was young and cool,” Vinnie and I burst out laughing. Dad’s eyes gave us a warning look. “If you want me to tell you a story, don’t be mean!” He said childishly. We nodded and tried to compose ourselves in respect. “Anyways… like… when I was nineteen… Black Veil Brides was just getting big—we got bigger when I was twenty—and I went touring like there was no tomorrow.”

This is gunna be so good. He looked sadly at the sheets on the bed. “And I was a fucking pig, might I remind you—girl every tour night. No care.” We nodded. “So that summer… I was on tour with…” His eyes squinted in thought. “Get Scared, Modern Day Escape… and Vampires Everywhere! I still talk to a lot of the Get Scared guys. They’re still making music, actually.”

“YOU KNOW GET SCARED?!” I yelled. Dad stared at me. “OH MY GOD! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!” I squealed a little. Even Vinnie stared at me. I looked from one to the other and my smile faded a little bit. “… I’m still getting used to this! Give me a break!”

Dad smiled crookedly at me. “What would you do if I said you could meet almost all of your favorite bands?” He asked. My eyes widened at his words. I felt like Christmas had come early and it would keep going on on a day-to-day basis for me. I nodded. “Cool.” He said. “ANYWAYS. So one day I go to Florida and fuck a girl,”

“Daddy!” I said.

“I apologize,” He said, looking sincere about it. “Have intercourse with her? Whatever. It was that.” He said. “So then after that I go to Mass and meet your lovely mother. She was a bitch at first, let me tell you.”

My eyes widened in realization and I smiled. “You tried to get in her pants that night?” I asked. He looked guilty at that and nodded. “You whore,”

“WOMAN!” Vinnie yelled at me, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. “STOP SAYING BAD WORDS!” He begged.

“You’re grounded again, Vinnie,” Dad said quickly. Vinnie screamed and turned so his head hit the pillow. I laughed. “So…” He smiled softly in thought. “Should I just tell you the story of your mom and me?” He asked, his eyes twinkling with hope. “You’ll pick up on Ms. Myers within the story, I promise.” I nodded and Vinnie sat up again. “NO one interrupt me as I reminisce and suffer from incredible nostalgia and wish times were simpler… so…

“Basically, I met your mom at her concert with your mom, Vinnie, actually. I met them both there.” Vinnie smiled sadly at the thought of his mom. Aunt Ally. She and Uncle Chris were so great. I miss them. “They were at the meet and greet and I was a pig then and I told your mom, Andrea, to meet me off somewhere at some time or whatever.

“So she didn’t intentionally do it. She was waiting for Ally to get the car or something or whatever and I found her and she was like ‘I’m bisexual, I hate you, leave me alone, bleh’ and I was like so upset with her. I’ve never been rejected to, uh, you know, and she was the first girl to reject me. Ever.”

“You egofuck,” I said.

“ANDREA!” Vinnie yelled in my ear.

“Grounded, Vin,” Dad said.

“So. Unfair.” Vinnie mumbled.

“So I wasn’t gunna let her go that easy. Who the fuck would reject me? Andy fucking Six?” I smiled. “So I enrolled in her school for her senior year.”

“NO!” Vinnie and I yelled.

“Yeah,” He smiled sheepishly. She hated that so much… but I’m happy I did. Nate wouldn’t have left her alone. I literally protected the girl.” I felt sick to my stomach. Dad didn’t smile anymore as he got to him and mom. “And anyways… basically, I go there and see she’s in cosmo and then lunch comes and she and Ally were like ‘Oh, we’re friends with Andy’ cuz there was a cosmo bitch in there named Brenda.

“Also known as that girl I did it with in Florida, and she was like being such a fake twat and I was like ‘Bitch, are you serious right now?’ It was so bad.”

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I yelled, about to laugh. “YOU AND MS. MYERS?!” He nodded. “She was like ‘He’s still handsome’ and I was like ‘Yo, that’s my old man’ and she was like ‘Who’s your mom?’ and I was like ‘Michelle fucking Donahue’ and she gave me this LOOK and I was like ‘Oh we’re so not gunna get along right now.’ It was great.” Dad shuddered.

“Like, problem, bro?” Vinnie added. I laughed.

“Can’t believe myself sometimes…” Dad shook his head.

I nodded. “Hey, tell me more about mom and you.” I said. His eyes brightened. I think he was happy.

“So then I we walked to lunch together but she slapped my arm away. She’d be like ‘Why’re you here you creep ohmygod’ and I’d be like ‘Because,’ and be such a troll to her. Bitches those days,”

“Tell me about it,” Vinnie said. I looked at him and shoved him off my bed. He yelled and hit the floor with a thump. I smiled at Dad.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Dad said. I frowned. “Anyways—”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!?!!” Vinnie yelled. He got up. “How is she not grounded?!”

“Later. This is more fun.” Dad said. “So yeah your mom hated my guts… and yeah uh I don’t remember if it was that same day or the day after… but I was walking around with the band,” He smiled softly. “and I hear a scream. We’re nosy little creeps so we go and look and see your mom and Nate. He’s trying to rape her.” I gasped. Oh no… “and we saved the day. First time I saw your mom’s boobs, by the way.” My eyes narrowed. “Just a little side note!” He said defensively. “No, but I was pissed. So we took her and drove her home… and we tended to her and stuff and I ended up sleeping over.

“The thing was that… like… I don’t know what the fuck happened to me that day, to be completely honest… because that day I gave no fucks about—sorry again—getting it in with her. I literally just wanted her to be ok and safe… and then I was like ‘Well, I don’t care to have sex with her now… all I want is for her to be ok and safe… so I can leave…’ but then I thought ‘No. If I leave, she’ll be in danger from that guy who’s in my shop.’ So I stayed.

“And she hated me. Or she was bipolar or something (I thought at the time) because she’d cry one minute, then hug me and be like ‘Don’t go’ and then she’d hit me and yell and tell me to get out. And that was the first night. There was so much more to it than that, though.” I nodded. “So then we went to school and she didn’t like how I’d be on her back all the time. AND THEN ONE DAY I was so intelligent. Because—listen to this—Nate was like ‘Back off’ and I was like “Fuck no’—sorry—and he’s like ‘It’s not like you’re together so stop acting like it’ and I, being so intelligent, turned to him and said ‘We are, though.’

“You must have been like ‘Shit, what did I just do?” Vinnie commented.

“Pretty much… so when that class ended I went up to her and started holding hands with her—and she didn’t like pull away, which was a good thing. And then we went to lunch and this bitch Brenda is strutting over for a bad flirt and then Nate’s about to come beat me or something so I turn to your mother and kiss her.”

“Aww, a first kiss,” Vinnie said and looked at me. I looked at him with a soft smile. “Usually unexpected.” We kept looking at each other with small smiles and from the corner of my eye, I saw dad looking from Vinnie to me and then back again.

“Vincent,” Dad said in a serious tone. We both looked up at him. “I will kill you.”

“No, daddy,” I said, my voice a bit higher than normal and kind of childish. I hugged Vinnie. “I loveeeeee him.”

“WHAT?!” They both asked me.

“Isn’t that what friends say to each other?” I asked, blinking confusedly at both at them.

“Yes…” Vinnie said.

“Did you guys kiss?” Dad asked.

Ohhh is that why he’s having a problem?

“Yep,” Vinnie said. Dad’s eye twitched and he stood up slowly from the bed and walked over to the other side slowly at Vinnie’s side. Vinnie laughed nervously and crawled away to the other side and got off the bed. Dad sighed at him and shook his head.

“You’re dead meat, man. MY DAUGHTER! MY OFFSPRING! MY...” Dad snapped towards me.

“Spermlett,” I said.

“Yeah! THAT!” Then he looked at me with a weird face. “Wait, what the fuck, for real?” He asked. I nodded at him. Then, Vinnie took the chance to leave his room at a sprint. “Oh cool—HEY!” Dad yelled and ran after him.

“DOES THAT MEAN THAT STORY TIME IS OVER?” I asked loudly, walking out of the room and following the chase.
It’s a mad house sometimes.

---

“Wrong,”

I had to fight the urge to yell and swear at Ms. Myers. I smiled at her.

“I’d like to point out that Lily’s is the exact same as mine—thank you very much.” I said.

“I don’t need your attitude.” She snapped at me. “You’re just like your mother.” I took in a sharp intake of breath and turned back to my dummy.

“I bet she was better at this trade than you and I’m pretty damn sure I’m better at it than you,” I muttered under my breath. I shut my eyes.

“What did you say?” I heard behind me. My eyes shot open and I looked behind me.

“You heard me…” I said unsurely.

“Say it loud enough so everyone can hear, dear.”

My eyes narrowed challengingly at my teacher. “I bet anyone in this damn school that I can do a damn right better job at any service you “teach”,” I put air quotes in the air with my fingers around the word “teach”. “us better than you, the teacher herself.”
“You’re just like your god damn mother,” She growled at me, low enough so only I could hear. I smiled sweetly at her.

“Well then that’s why I could beat your old ass any day,” I said. “And what would happen if…” I wouldn’t be surprised if I were expelled after this. I guess, in a way, I wasn’t really thinking. I was just doing and my mouth was having a mind of its own. “I accidently took the flat iron… and turned here and—”

I burned her arm.

“Whoops,” I said.

“YOU!!!!!!” She yelled at me. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Now you have two permanent tattoos—one on your leg and one on your arm. Say… where’d you get the leg one from.”

“Your mother,” She growled. She was shaking and fuming. “Andrea Michelle Biersack, I expe—”

“Oh…” I said. “Dad’s gunna be so upset when he hears… and Scout’s gunna be raging… and Hollywood nonsense might come along… we wouldn’t want that… would we?” Her eyes widened at me. “And Dad would be very upset. Very. Upset.”

Ms. Myers forced a horrible smile. Dad did it with this girl? She’s so fake! “I can always take care of this burn. Must have been a mistake.” She said through gritted teeth. She walked off to the sophomore section and I flipped her off.

“Oh my god,” I heard Lily say. I turned to look at her and she smiled. “That was THE BEST THING I’ve ever seen in my life! Do you know how many of us have been wanting to do that to her?!” She squealed, clapped and hugged me. “Hey, I know we don’t really know each other but you wanna hang out sometime? Go to the mall, go pig out at Friendly’s, go throw popcorn at a theater screen, go dancing at a club… wanna?” She asked. “Oh! And of course there’s the original sleepover.”

I smiled. “Will you tell me about all those things?” I asked. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

“You had to have had a sleepover though, right?” She asked. I shook my head. “Been to a movie theater?” I shook my head. “Eaten out?” I shrugged. “Been to the mall?”

“Not in the longest time,” I said truthfully.

“Can I introduce you to my friend Jared? He’s my best guy friend. You guys are kinda alike. He can help get you into the real world kind of stuff. We’ll show you what’s what.”

“Sounds like fun,” I said with a smile.

I have a new friend? What?
I burnt my teacher who wants to still get into my ex-rockstar dad’s pants?
I love life?
And it’s not even ten o fucking clock yet. Not a bad morning.

Nostalgia
Noun. A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time