Musical Pioneer
Musical Pioneer
I'm a musical pioneer. My job is to push the limits, shake things up, and if it comes to it, start from scratch. Call me douchebag or cokehead all you want, I don't care. I was born to do what I do, I was born to be who I am. I know I've let people down, every family member, every friend,...every ex-friend but I've accepted the fact that if the world is in my hands it's going to fall. And it was and it did, and now I'm in another stage, phase, transformation. I just wanted to return the heart in sound. I just wanted love to reappear. I just wanted blood back in my young veins.
The clothes were the first to go. No one was going to take me seriously in a red rose vest and mascara. I never noticed what people thought about my image and that was stupid because though I applaud myself for having an individual style and not afraid to go with it, I wasn't thinking like the crowd. You have to think like the crowd to become what you want. And my crowd was too busy shipping Brendon and I. They were too busy with sexual fantasies. I needed the words to be heard, not my body to be looked at. And besides, I started feeling ridiculous. I was 20 not 18, I should've been a bit more professional than that.
The second was the sound. I was opening up too much, standing naked in front of millions of people. It needed to be toned down. It was like my whole life story was being told. Music is a great outlet, don't get me wrong but there comes a point in time when you get sick of sharing secrets, showing scars, bearing it all. And my life had always been heavy...the mood needed to lighten up.
Third were the relationships. I wasn't the same anymore, I was different. I didn't notice it until Brendon cornered me one day. He told me I needed to wake up. I wasn't even sleeping. That's when it hit me, I was just different. I can't explain, people change, it happens.
My style changed, music changed, personality changed, and outlook had changed.
And then came the hardest part, The Breakup. Even I hadn't seen it coming. But I just wasn't happy anymore and something needed to be done. I left dozens of people hurt and confused, my best friends abandoned. Fresh start, I had created a bad reputation but a fresh start.
And now I'm here.
The clothes were the first to go. No one was going to take me seriously in a red rose vest and mascara. I never noticed what people thought about my image and that was stupid because though I applaud myself for having an individual style and not afraid to go with it, I wasn't thinking like the crowd. You have to think like the crowd to become what you want. And my crowd was too busy shipping Brendon and I. They were too busy with sexual fantasies. I needed the words to be heard, not my body to be looked at. And besides, I started feeling ridiculous. I was 20 not 18, I should've been a bit more professional than that.
The second was the sound. I was opening up too much, standing naked in front of millions of people. It needed to be toned down. It was like my whole life story was being told. Music is a great outlet, don't get me wrong but there comes a point in time when you get sick of sharing secrets, showing scars, bearing it all. And my life had always been heavy...the mood needed to lighten up.
Third were the relationships. I wasn't the same anymore, I was different. I didn't notice it until Brendon cornered me one day. He told me I needed to wake up. I wasn't even sleeping. That's when it hit me, I was just different. I can't explain, people change, it happens.
My style changed, music changed, personality changed, and outlook had changed.
And then came the hardest part, The Breakup. Even I hadn't seen it coming. But I just wasn't happy anymore and something needed to be done. I left dozens of people hurt and confused, my best friends abandoned. Fresh start, I had created a bad reputation but a fresh start.
And now I'm here.
♠ ♠ ♠
Yes, yet another one-shot from me. I'm sorry, maybe one day I'll have the courage and ambition to actually start a real story and finish it. But it's really hard for me to do, I'm easily uninspired when I'm in the middle of writing. But one day...I hope it changes.But for now I'm stuck on the whole Ryan's transformation plot. So you'll probably see more of this.
Also, this is not connected with 'Our Downfall' It's just similar. Like I said, I'll be playing with this idea. It intrigues me.