Limb By Limb
Closure
She stood with the sun beating on her face. That meadow had never seemed more beautiful to her than it did right now, and she hated herself for it. It had been their place. It was their place before all the partying, all the drinking, and all the drugs. It was the fame that tore them apart.
At first it had just been a persona created to make him marketable, the cocky attitude with the tall dark and handsome good looks to back it. She remembered when it all started, barely legal in the summer of 1969. His hair was long and curly, the whitest of natural blondes. His eyes used to shine with a golden tint to them, as if he was one godly statue – not anymore.
He had this dream, you see. He’d seen other guys do it, you know? He figured he could too. She was smarter than that. It was a glorified profession, rock and roll, and all it could really do was break you down in the long run. She tried to be supportive of him, but she was scared. She’d heard her mom talk about it being the Devil’s music. She’d point that out to him, too.
“Come on, Jim! It’s the Devil’s road you’re going down,” He’d always laugh at her.
“Jennie, if it means selling my soul, I’ll do it for the rock and roll!” She didn’t know how to react when he’d say these horrible things. She wasn’t religious like the rest of her family; it wasn’t like she couldn’t stand to hear the evil chords mixing with roundabout innuendos. Still though, she couldn’t bare the pain of letting him go and ruin himself with drugs like she’d heard so many musicians those days had done. The worst was when he’d picked up the excess drinking and the hard drugs. They’d all smoked pot, sure. It was natural, of the earth, and it could do them no harm. Alcohol and cocaine were a different story.
Her shorts hung loose around her hips, she’d put a scissor to his old jeans. She didn’t care that the pockets were too long; all she cared about was that they were her way of remembering him before the fame. A flowing, floral printed tank top hung too loose on her slight frame while her dark hair flowing loose around her face, a homemade hemp headband keeping it in tact. Did she care that her look was totally 60’s? Not in the least.
She sighed as she slunk down to the ground, hands clasped in front of her, arms resting on her knees. She hated to reminisce like this, but she couldn’t help it. The band was in town this week, one of the last stops on the world tour they’d signed onto just months earlier. In late ‘72 Atlantic records had picked them up after they’d sent in an unsolicited demo, dying to hear more of this unheard of band. Now a days they were opening for bands like Led Zeppelin and AC/DC.
She looked next to her, a rock on the ground with their initials painted onto it. She picked it up, wiping off the dirt and the ants that had made it their shelter and stared at it. Delicately painted in his lovely (though lopsided) handwriting were the words
‘J.C.
+
J.R
Always and forever’
Obviously forever came a whole lot sooner than she expected. She sighed and dropped the rock, painted side down on the ground.
“Jennie?” Her thoughts were pulled from her as she turned her face away from the hot sun to look over her shoulder. Next to the single oak tree, there he was, clear as day. She blinked a few times and stood up, staring at him. His hair was cropped to his shoulders now, even curlier than he remembered it. He was too skinny, his shirtless torso showing off every rib as if he hadn’t eaten for weeks, and she could smell the cigarette smoke resonating off his once lustrous hair and his bell-bottom jeans.
“What are you doing here, Jimmy?” She asked trying to fight back the tears. This was the last thing she needed right now, after all this thinking. She had promised herself she wouldn’t shed a tear. She’d come here to move on.
“I came to try and remember the good times, you know?” He said simply, walking over to the newly flipped rock and kicked it over.
“And you—“
“Yeah, I came here trying to forget, so why don’t you just go?” he shook his head.
“Now then, it’s a free country, so why don’t you just be cool, baby?” She shook her head.
“I won’t just be cool, Jim. You left me for a lot of them groupies and some coke!” Her words were biting and she felt as if she could just explode. He seemed so cool and collected.
“If you don’t want me back,” He paused, pulling a cigarette from his pocket to light it,
“I understand, but just know I could have any girl I wanted,”
“That’s bogus Jim, and you know it. With that attitude maybe you could bed any girl but you’ll never find one that’ll love you like I did,”
“You know that song by Led Zeppelin?” He asked, getting close enough to exhale the cigarette smoke into her face.
“Which one?” She snapped back,
“Whole lotta love?” He asked, a cocky smirk on his lips.
She nodded and shrugged, he stepped forward again, flicking the cigarette out from between his fingers. In a quick motion he wrapped his hand around the small of her back and dragged her close, pressing his hips to hers as he spoke.
“ Well, baby, I got girls right out beggin’ for every inch of my love, and sugar I’d be more than happy to give it to them,” She scowled and slapped his chest, pushing him away.
“What happened to you Jim Rammond? You used to be the sweetest damn thing and now look at you, you’re a goddamn burn out!” The man began to laugh and grabbed her by the throat. He pulled the gasping girl up to his face,
“Oh yeah, well why don’t you just do me a fuckin’ solid and quit giving me all your shit. This is why I left your ass, Jennie, you’re an overbearing little cunt!” The words seemed to cut deeper than a knife as the man she once loved threw her to the ground, throwing his arms up.
“I tried to give you another chance, Jen,” She almost wanted to laugh. He seemed to think it was her that was in the wrong, but with all the drugs, his mind obviously wasn’t working properly.
“So take your god damn rock and shove it up your ass, you won’t be seeing me again,” He picked the object up again, only for it to be tossed on the ground again, a drug induced fury washing over him.
“I came back to make things right and you wouldn’t even fucking listen you tight laced hag!”
“Fuck you!” She shouted, standing up.
“I loved you, I gave you everything I had to give Jim, and you fake me out for fame and drugs and whores. I was here for closure, and now I can’t even have that, so why don’t you just bite the dust and go?!” He stood there, arms crossed and she just threw her arms up, storming past him. He was unreasonable at this point, she felt like she should cry, but she made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t.
The next day she returned, finding many of the old oak tree’s limbs scattered on the ground, and their old memento rock broken in two. She sighed as she picked both halves up and tossed them in opposite directions. She’d thought there was no closure for this situation, while in reality all the closure she’d needed was to see that he didn’t exist anymore. Not the way he used to. Her Jim was dead and gone, and the proof had come in the form of the skeleton of his past self.
She hung one of her hands loosely on a low branch of the tree, turning to stare at the sun rising over the hills of the valley, letting it wash over her face. She’d have to move on, and even if it wasn’t easy, it could always be done.
At first it had just been a persona created to make him marketable, the cocky attitude with the tall dark and handsome good looks to back it. She remembered when it all started, barely legal in the summer of 1969. His hair was long and curly, the whitest of natural blondes. His eyes used to shine with a golden tint to them, as if he was one godly statue – not anymore.
He had this dream, you see. He’d seen other guys do it, you know? He figured he could too. She was smarter than that. It was a glorified profession, rock and roll, and all it could really do was break you down in the long run. She tried to be supportive of him, but she was scared. She’d heard her mom talk about it being the Devil’s music. She’d point that out to him, too.
“Come on, Jim! It’s the Devil’s road you’re going down,” He’d always laugh at her.
“Jennie, if it means selling my soul, I’ll do it for the rock and roll!” She didn’t know how to react when he’d say these horrible things. She wasn’t religious like the rest of her family; it wasn’t like she couldn’t stand to hear the evil chords mixing with roundabout innuendos. Still though, she couldn’t bare the pain of letting him go and ruin himself with drugs like she’d heard so many musicians those days had done. The worst was when he’d picked up the excess drinking and the hard drugs. They’d all smoked pot, sure. It was natural, of the earth, and it could do them no harm. Alcohol and cocaine were a different story.
Her shorts hung loose around her hips, she’d put a scissor to his old jeans. She didn’t care that the pockets were too long; all she cared about was that they were her way of remembering him before the fame. A flowing, floral printed tank top hung too loose on her slight frame while her dark hair flowing loose around her face, a homemade hemp headband keeping it in tact. Did she care that her look was totally 60’s? Not in the least.
She sighed as she slunk down to the ground, hands clasped in front of her, arms resting on her knees. She hated to reminisce like this, but she couldn’t help it. The band was in town this week, one of the last stops on the world tour they’d signed onto just months earlier. In late ‘72 Atlantic records had picked them up after they’d sent in an unsolicited demo, dying to hear more of this unheard of band. Now a days they were opening for bands like Led Zeppelin and AC/DC.
She looked next to her, a rock on the ground with their initials painted onto it. She picked it up, wiping off the dirt and the ants that had made it their shelter and stared at it. Delicately painted in his lovely (though lopsided) handwriting were the words
‘J.C.
+
J.R
Always and forever’
Obviously forever came a whole lot sooner than she expected. She sighed and dropped the rock, painted side down on the ground.
“Jennie?” Her thoughts were pulled from her as she turned her face away from the hot sun to look over her shoulder. Next to the single oak tree, there he was, clear as day. She blinked a few times and stood up, staring at him. His hair was cropped to his shoulders now, even curlier than he remembered it. He was too skinny, his shirtless torso showing off every rib as if he hadn’t eaten for weeks, and she could smell the cigarette smoke resonating off his once lustrous hair and his bell-bottom jeans.
“What are you doing here, Jimmy?” She asked trying to fight back the tears. This was the last thing she needed right now, after all this thinking. She had promised herself she wouldn’t shed a tear. She’d come here to move on.
“I came to try and remember the good times, you know?” He said simply, walking over to the newly flipped rock and kicked it over.
“And you—“
“Yeah, I came here trying to forget, so why don’t you just go?” he shook his head.
“Now then, it’s a free country, so why don’t you just be cool, baby?” She shook her head.
“I won’t just be cool, Jim. You left me for a lot of them groupies and some coke!” Her words were biting and she felt as if she could just explode. He seemed so cool and collected.
“If you don’t want me back,” He paused, pulling a cigarette from his pocket to light it,
“I understand, but just know I could have any girl I wanted,”
“That’s bogus Jim, and you know it. With that attitude maybe you could bed any girl but you’ll never find one that’ll love you like I did,”
“You know that song by Led Zeppelin?” He asked, getting close enough to exhale the cigarette smoke into her face.
“Which one?” She snapped back,
“Whole lotta love?” He asked, a cocky smirk on his lips.
She nodded and shrugged, he stepped forward again, flicking the cigarette out from between his fingers. In a quick motion he wrapped his hand around the small of her back and dragged her close, pressing his hips to hers as he spoke.
“ Well, baby, I got girls right out beggin’ for every inch of my love, and sugar I’d be more than happy to give it to them,” She scowled and slapped his chest, pushing him away.
“What happened to you Jim Rammond? You used to be the sweetest damn thing and now look at you, you’re a goddamn burn out!” The man began to laugh and grabbed her by the throat. He pulled the gasping girl up to his face,
“Oh yeah, well why don’t you just do me a fuckin’ solid and quit giving me all your shit. This is why I left your ass, Jennie, you’re an overbearing little cunt!” The words seemed to cut deeper than a knife as the man she once loved threw her to the ground, throwing his arms up.
“I tried to give you another chance, Jen,” She almost wanted to laugh. He seemed to think it was her that was in the wrong, but with all the drugs, his mind obviously wasn’t working properly.
“So take your god damn rock and shove it up your ass, you won’t be seeing me again,” He picked the object up again, only for it to be tossed on the ground again, a drug induced fury washing over him.
“I came back to make things right and you wouldn’t even fucking listen you tight laced hag!”
“Fuck you!” She shouted, standing up.
“I loved you, I gave you everything I had to give Jim, and you fake me out for fame and drugs and whores. I was here for closure, and now I can’t even have that, so why don’t you just bite the dust and go?!” He stood there, arms crossed and she just threw her arms up, storming past him. He was unreasonable at this point, she felt like she should cry, but she made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t.
The next day she returned, finding many of the old oak tree’s limbs scattered on the ground, and their old memento rock broken in two. She sighed as she picked both halves up and tossed them in opposite directions. She’d thought there was no closure for this situation, while in reality all the closure she’d needed was to see that he didn’t exist anymore. Not the way he used to. Her Jim was dead and gone, and the proof had come in the form of the skeleton of his past self.
She hung one of her hands loosely on a low branch of the tree, turning to stare at the sun rising over the hills of the valley, letting it wash over her face. She’d have to move on, and even if it wasn’t easy, it could always be done.