The Edge

Brian:

It was kind of like owning a needy, abnormally large, big eyed, spastic, easy-to-excite kitten. Not that I owned Zacky, but the way he clung to me, he may as well have been mine in some way or another. I got home from school to find him cuddling with my pillow. It was a bit awkward, but hey, he's twelve, not like he's getting off or anything. I hope.

Today was Friday, meaning I didn't have to drag my ass to school tomorrow, I got to spend more time doing mindless shit with my birthday gifts. Yesterday was my birthday, and Zacky celebrated with us, having helped bake my cake. I was a bit reluctant to eat it after I heard that, I was afraid he'd laced it with sleeping drugs or something so he could rape me. I think I need to calm my imagination and remember this is a twelve year old boy, not a trained assassin.

I never really make a big deal out of birthdays, sure, it's a day to get a bunch of free shit, who wouldn't love it? But other than that, it's basically saying 'Hey, I'm a year closer to dieing! Fuck ya!'.

Despite my apathy towards the celebrations of birthdays, Matt and Jimmy were coming over in an hour or so, leaving me with enough time to try and convince Zacky to get his little ass out of here, because when they spent the night, things got... rowdy. As in, throwing each other at walls, throwing glassware at one another, setting shit on fire in my room, overall, we were pretty vicious, and it certainly wasn't a child-friendly environment.

“Zacky?” I asked, poking my head around my door. He wasn't sleeping now, just stretched out on my bed, staring at the posters on my walls and ceiling rather blankly.

“Uh... Zacky... you alive in here?” I stepped into my room, walking over to him and staring down at the boy, rather concerned.

His eyes flicked to my face, and he smiled widely, sitting up quickly and reaching out towards me, “You did your hair differently. I like it. Ya, I'm fine, just thinking.”

“Oh, thanks,” I said, taking a step towards him so he could stroke my hair. It was down, which was unusual for me, but I was out of gel and my hairspray was just... well, I really didn't have the patience for that shit when I woke up, so I straightened it and left it alone, “Well, I was going to ask you if you were ready to go back home...”

His face fell. I knew he disliked his home, and... apparently, Gale wasn't his mother, but I still hadn't asked about that. He'd tell me when he was ready. It was for his own safety that he wasn't here when I had the guys over, we'd be talking about shit he really didn't need to hear. Matt would... try to censor himself and fail miserably, and Jimmy wouldn't give a shit whether the kid was scarred for life or not.

“I... don't want to go home, Brian...” he mumbled sadly, giving me a pleading look.

“I know,” sighing, I mussed up his hair gently, pulling him towards me and hugging him lightly, “But my friends are coming over tonight, and the last thing I want is you to get hurt. I think it's best you go back home, for your own safety.”

He muttered something about not caring if he was safe, bringing a small smile to my face. I mussed his hair again, standing up and taking his hand before leading him out, down the light brown and auburn hallway and into our den, where my mom was reading with the TV on for background.

“Hey, Mom?” I asked, bringing Zacky around the front of the couch, “I'm going to take Zacky home now.”

Zacky sniffed, snuggling into my side with obvious discomfort. I honestly felt bad about dumping him back with his mom, or whoever, but I wasn't going to cancel my birthday party for a little kid I'd only known a week or so.

“Okay, dear. Zacky, honey, it was wonderful having you, and you're welcome back anytime you'd like to visit, whether Brian wants you over or not.” she said, her eyes twinkling.

I rolled my eyes, “It has nothing to do with me 'not wanting him over', but Matt and Jimmy are coming over, and there's no way I'm letting him hang out here when they're over. You know we tend to get...” I trailed off.

With that, I led him to the door, watched him put on his shoes, and took his hand again before opening the door and heading for his house. His feet dragged as we walked, it was easy to see the last thing he wanted to do was go back home. I was honestly concerned for his welfare, even here, because when he returned to his own home, his nightmares would be worse again, he'd be screaming in the night and terrified of what his imagination would show him as he slept.

I slowed my steps as we reached the end of his driveway, dropping his hand and quickly picking him up. I was surprised at how light he was, even though I knew he was much smaller and younger than I was, but it only made it easier for me to sling him over my back and turn away from his house, heading for the tiny park a block away.

Zacky made his arms tight around my neck, giggling madly when I ran with him to the little gated playset that I'd been raised with.

“Brian?” Zacky asked, “Aren't we going home?”

“Did you want to go home?” I retorted, bringing him to the long grassy hill that met the sand where the playset began and gently placing him in the soft grass.

He snorted, laying down on his back in the grass and gesturing for me, “Hell no. You know I hate it there. But why did you take me here instead of back to your house?”

“Well, I like it here. I won't let you sit out here alone, you could be raped or killed, but I can hang out with you for a while, if you like. Jimmy and Matt shouldn't be at my house for a few hours, my mom'll take care of snacks and what not, so until they actually get there, I think we're okay.” I said as I sat next to him.

Zacky made a small noise that reminded me of a cat before hugging me tightly, “You're awesome, Bri. I suppose I should be grateful that you let me stay with you at all, not complaining about not being with you long enough...”

I stroked his hair, “Thanks, Zacky. And I don't mind your complaining if you're only complaining about leaving rather than how messy my room is or... some shit like that. You're great in my opinion, if I could have you as a little brother, I'd totally convince my mom to adopt you. Seriously.”

There was a moment of silence before a devious glint appeared in his deep green eyes, “But Brian, if I was your brother... I wouldn't be able to do this...”

He sat up on his knees, pulling my chin around and pressing his lips into mine, nipping my bottom lip before pulling away from me. He passed his tongue over his full lips slowly.

I shuddered lightly, staring at the younger boy. His eyes were closed and he was smiling lightly, his tongue passed over his lips a second time. What was with him and kissing me?

“Zacky... what was that?” I asked quietly. I was beginning to get used to it, but that didn't change the fact that he was twelve and I was seventeen.

He opened his big green eyes slowly, looking at me from under his lashes. I couldn't deny that he was pretty adorable, but not 'I'd totally make out with you' adorable, “I'm sorry Brian. I really like you. I can't really help myself.”

“You sound like a horny teenager who just... I dunno, raped me.” I mumbled, flushing lightly. I couldn't help the fact that he had feelings for me, but for Christ's sake, he was twelve, I couldn't punch him and tell him to back off, but I also couldn't just ignore him, he was a kid.

“Technically...” Zacky said almost sadly, “If you don't like when I kiss you...”

I rolled my eyes. He was going to guilt me into letting him do whatever he wanted to do. I really couldn't hold my own against this kid, he was younger than me, smaller than me, yet I was totally obliged to let him do whatever he wanted. I couldn't even stop him from kissing me.

“Zee, listen. You're a really cool kid, you're fun to be around, I like you better than I like my best friends sometimes. But I'm not interested in men. I'm not homophobic, I won't get pissed at you or anything, obviously, because I haven't attacked you for kissing me, but you can't keep doing that. People are going to get the wrong idea, and you're... you're five years or so younger than me. I... I'm not a good type of person for you to be influenced by. I smoke, I drink, I have sex. I do a lot of other shit I'm not proud of. I don't want you to be... affected by me or what I do. For all your faults, you're pretty awesome. I just...” I trailed off, hoping he got my point.

Zacky nodded, bringing his gaze back to my face, “Brian... I'm sorry. I didn't think you hated it that much. I won't do it anymore. But I don't think you're a bad person even if you do smoke and drink and have sex. I really like you, okay? I guess I need more therapy then I thought...”

He was sniffling lightly. I hugged him tightly, sighing and stroking his hair, “You don't need therapy. Having feelings for a person doesn't mean... you need therapy. And I don't hate kissing you...”

I seriously needed to learn to listen to myself and be less of a hypocrite sometimes.

A wide smile appeared on his face, “Really?”

I shook my head. Not really surprisingly, he leaned up and did it again, but this time he just kissed my cheek. God, you just can't get through to kids, can you?

“Hey, fags, what are you doing out here where anyone can see you fucking?” a harsh voice drifted over to us, causing me to press Zacky to my chest urgently.

“Whatever happens, do not say a word,” I hissed to him, “I'm going to distract them and I want you to run back to my house. Mom'll protect you.”

“No way am I gonna leave you here alone!” Zacky retorted, eyes narrowing.

I sighed impatiently, standing up and shoving him behind me quickly. I looked up to see the faces of some guys from the football team, leaning against the park fence and glaring. A few of the younger ones in back just spat gay-slurs, too afraid to face the thunder. I recognized the one in front, a kid named Corey, short, dark hair and a thick build. He was an impatient, arrogant asshole who cussed out anything and everything just for the joy of hearing his own voice.

“Hey, Taylor,” I growled, addressing Corey, “What the hell are you doing out here? Aren't you supposed to be at home fucking your mom?”

Corey turned a nasty blotched red color, “What was that, Haner? Funny, I never pictured you a fag. You have the reputation of a womanizer at school, I guess I'll have to change that, won't I? How would it make you feel if I beat the shit out of your little piece of ass you got there?”

“Why don't you fucking try it? Let your little gang get the fuck out before I get my backup out here. Remember Matt, Taylor? The one who broke your nose three times in a row? All I have to do is ask him and he'll be out here in two minutes. I think I can hold you off till then.” I said harshly. I was growing nervous for Zacky. The last thing he needed was to watch me fight another kid. Knowing me, things would get bloody.

Corey turned and conversed with his guys for a moment, I used the time to text Matt and Jimmy and tell them to get their asses out here. Until they did, though, I'd be all alone with five guys my age and two Sophomore.

When he turned back to me, Corey was smiling crookedly. Dear god, he was ugly. “Well, my boys and I don't think it'll be hard to knock you and your little gay boy here out. You don't have time to call for back up, and it shouldn't take us long to get you pleading for mercy.”

God, that kid is seriously getting on my last nerve.

They started to advance slowly. By the time the group was three meters from me, Matt's big ass Chevy slammed to a stop right outside the park gates. Jimmy leaped out of the open back of the truck, and Matt himself walked calmly around, but the smile on his face made him look like one crazy motherfucker.

Corey blinked and mumbled something, probably a plea for mercy, but I couldn't hear him. Matt and Corey had some real issues. I mean, sure, Corey's a total prick douche bag, but Matt's hatred for him was... serious. When they were younger, they were best friends for the longest time before Corey became popular and basically told Matt they couldn't hang out anymore because being friends with a weirdo was ruining his reputation.

That pissed Matt off. It's one thing to tell someone you can't get along with them anymore, another to say they were 'ruining your reputation'. Because Matt was the type to hold grudges, he and Corey were lifelong enemies, and whenever one saw the other at a weak moment, they'd land as many punches as they had time for.

Hence my being eternally grateful for a friend like Matthew Sanders.

“Hey Bri,” Matt called, “Need some help?”

I smirked. Matt'd taunt me for needing his help to beat the shit out of Corey Taylor, but it was absolutely nothing compared to what he was gonna do to Corey now that he had him.

Matt and Jimmy reached my side, I thanked them several times for coming, “I need to go, though, I have to get Zacky out of here...”

Jimmy smirked, “Always one to take care of the children, aren't ya, Brian? Can't the kid walk home from here?”

“Well, yea, but I really don't want him running into more shit. Besides, you and Matt are a lot better than I am, and I'm sure you guys won't necessarily need my help. You know Matt riled up enough to take them on alone, but he's got you. I'll see you guys at my house when you finish.”

Jimmy nodded, some understanding showing in his eyes, quickly turning to Matt and relaying the message. Matt nodded, his eyes never leaving Corey, who was now trembling in fear. Poor kid was probably about to wet himself.

I took Zacky's hand and led him out of the gated park and back down to his house. The streets were quiet, a cool breeze shook the almost-leafless trees on either side of the street. Both of us stayed silent as I led Zacky up his long driveway to the aged Victorian house and coming to a halt outside his front door.

“Zack, you're a great kid. If you'd like to come over again later this week, you can ask you mom-- er, you can ask Gale and I can come get you and we can see a movie or something. Thank you very much for hanging out with me.” I said to him, banding over and hugging him.

I turned and stared into his eyes, sighing quietly, before pecking his lips gently. He smiled widely, his emerald green eyes falling closed. He turned back to his house and opened the door and stepped inside, leaving me to stare after him. After an endlessly long moment, I turned around and slowly and headed back to the park.

~